To consider fundraising/ go fund me / crowdfunding for weight loss surgery

[lotstolose1]

I imagine this will be a very controversial one and I am opening myself to opinions I potentially won't want to hear. All I ask is please don't be nasty and insulting (I can take harsh & honest)

I am fat, majorly fat, even considered super obese. I've tried everything under the sun, I always manage between a few pounds to a few stone and then fail or stall and put it back on plus more. BMI in the high 50's, almost 23 stone at 5ft 2. I am only in my early 20s.

My GP recently agreed that Bariatric surgery would most likely be the best way forward and agreed to put me forward on the NHS. This could take years, maybe 5.

I have looked into options privately and I just can't afford it. My credit is shot to bits. I've considered selling my car but then I'll just leave myself in a worse position as I'll still have the finance to pay off and then no car to get me about.

I have a few household things I could sell, to get maybe about £500 myself. I'm on very low income and no savings.

AIBU to maybe start a go fund me/ fundraising to raise the rest of the money I'd need. I'd need to raise maybe about £4K.

I am deeply unhappy and the thought of even posting pictures of myself and my weight online for a fundraiser terrifies me and not something I'd do lightly....I'm worried I'm running out of time, I'd like another child but don't want to grow through it while being this massive.

Hi op, I didn't read all the thread or responses. But wanted to suggest keto to you. I see someone else has suggested it. What happened when you tried it before?

I have an underactive thyroid and have tried every diet with no results for years, until I tried keto. Honestly, if you stick to it, the weight will fall off. You might think it's too difficult to stop eating carbs, but if you want it that much then you can do it. Seeing the lbs fall off will help you stick to it. Find the keto groups on Facebook's which has so many inspirational posts from people that have lost so much weight. Maybe have a look and see if it's something you can do?

If you do keto and don't lose weight, then there has to be something medically wrong

Good luck with your journey!

OP where did you get the £4K figure and what type of bariatric procedure are you considering? Three years ago I had a gastric sleeve done privately and it was almost £13K including 2 nights in hospital and all follow-up care but not including £350-400 I spent trying products during the liquid diet phase before I found one I could tolerate.

The sleeve is relatively simple and I lost the 5 stone I needed but with a BMI of 50+ is much more complicated. You will likely need a bypass or even multiple procedures at different times. I’be heard of going abroad but keep in mind the risks of any surgery are higher the heavier you are. I’d be very wary of anyone anywhere who claims they could safely treat you for anywhere close to £4K.

I don’t mean to discourage you, in fact quite the opposite. It sounds like you could benefit greatly from bariatric surgery. But in your 20s you have plenty of time. Start the NHS pathway now and keep working at it in the meantime. You could be at a healthy weight and feeling great before you are even 30, which is wonderful.

@BoeJidensLeftShoe well she would be saving a few hundred pounds on food🤷‍♀️

UPDATE:

I've just become very lucky and managed to get together the money for the surgery. I'm shitting my pants but at the same time so excited to hopefully start living again ♥️

Thanks to everyone in here for the kind words and thank fuck I didn't fundraise and end up in the Daily Fail

@lotstolose1

UPDATE:

I've just become very lucky and managed to get together the money for the surgery. I'm shitting my pants but at the same time so excited to hopefully start living again ♥️

Thanks to everyone in here for the kind words and thank fuck I didn't fundraise and end up in the Daily Fail

Congratulations 🎉

Glad you got the money and good luck. Also be prepared that you’ll need operations after the surgery for the excess skin as the nhs won’t remove it. My friends just paid 5k for it.

@CharlotteRose90 thank you, I've factored that in... I'll make it my mission to save for it once I'm at goal. But I want more babies yet anyway which probably means more c-sections so I'll definitely be holding off on skin removal anyway!

Something to bear in mind op - pregnancy is not recommended after weight loss surgery. Some say two years or at least until your weight stabilises. I'm at two years and my weight is only just there.

My husband went to Egypt to a world class surgeon for weight loss surgery a few years ago. A third of the price of private in England and the results have been exceptional. 14 stone loss!

In the nicest possible way OP, I’d suggest you get to the bottom of your relationship with food as that’s the real crux of the matter. I say this as someone who fluctuates between 9 and 14 stone quite regularly so I do understand food issues.

I don’t think it’s a great idea to ask for money for this when it’s in your own power to sort it out yourself.

@elenacampana

In the nicest possible way OP, I’d suggest you get to the bottom of your relationship with food as that’s the real crux of the matter. I say this as someone who fluctuates between 9 and 14 stone quite regularly so I do understand food issues.

I don’t think it’s a great idea to ask for money for this when it’s in your own power to sort it out yourself.

OP HAS the money...

YABU.

@Tuckedinbelly it's no problem at all being pregnant after WLS, I've asked and my Dr and he recommends the surgery before any more pregnancies. They'd rather that than me go through another obese pregnancy. I am aware I will have to wait, theyve recommend 12-18 months wait which is fine for me

Seems this has kicked back off again now, probably popped up in active threads.

No longer an AIBU, I've got the money now and I'm having done very soon.

Thanks for the well wishes

Wow. Where did the money come from? What a turn up for the books.

That's great news, OP. I hope your procedure goes smoothly. Here's to the new slim you of the future!

[quote lotstolose1]@Tuckedinbelly it's no problem at all being pregnant after WLS, I've asked and my Dr and he recommends the surgery before any more pregnancies. They'd rather that than me go through another obese pregnancy. I am aware I will have to wait, theyve recommend 12-18 months wait which is fine for me [/quote]
It's just something to be aware of. One year after surgery I'd lost nine stone, two years after I've lost another two stone, so 11. I had a miscarriage six months after surgery and it could have contributed

Good luck OP, trust your Consultants .. 🌸

@PurpleDaisies a family member ♥️

@Tuckedinbelly sorry to here that, I've had one previously and it's a horrible thing to go through. I'll definitely wait until I'm at goal and maintaining first, if that's longer than 18 months then so be it x

Thanks :-) good luck with the surgery! You won't regret it

OP, having read the whole thread, I'd firstly like to congratulate you on wanting to change, which is the biggest and most crucial step.

Full disclosure - I don't have any real experience of overweight, but I do have experience of coaching and mentoring, and hopefully my post can be of some use to you.

From your posts, you sound like a deeply thoughtful and intelligent individual, and I feel approaching your issues in a slightly less binary 'must lose weight = no food' way may be of use to you.

From my perspective, I am both incredibly competitive and a natural systemizer, and when I have something challenging to do, I find almost planning it like a project helps me enormously.

Have you heard of SMART goal setting? This helps you break your goals (in your instance, weight loss and re-educating your palate and appetite) into achievable chunks - so, rather than think 'I have to lose 13.5' by X or I'm a bad person', you reframe it as 'I will change my breakfast habits to X for X weeks. This will assist me in losing Xlbs and I will feel better and more energetic'.

It is one very small goal, but undertaking it will help you establish better habits and ultimately reach your long-term goal. A journey of a thousand miles starts with one small step!

There are lots of resources online about SMART and how to apply it personally as well as professionally - you may also find journalling helps.

I also think you would also enjoy learning more about food and nutrition from an objective, rational PoV - I recently went down a bit of a rabbit hole learning about ancient grains such as freekeh, and brought my new knowledge into my cooking (in addition, your palate changes as you get older and, as you are only in your early 20s, it won't take long to re-educate it!).

Now, clearly there are reasons why your bodyweight is at is at a relatively young age, and I'm not going to pry, because it's none of my business, but I do also feel that therapy may help you, particularly person-centred therapy. Getting on the NHS bariatric pathway - even if you don't go for surgery - will help you access this.

I genuinely believe if you challenge your brain, rather than your body, you will see rewards relatively quickly.

All the very best of luck to you.

@vivainsomnia

After being approved by the nhs weight management programme, at my first endcronologist visit I was given the option of Sade a or orlistat (that makes you poop your pants. Saxena is a private prescription taken one injection a week and I was told it was a 16 week program to make me more insulin sensitive and to shrink my liver. Asda was cheaper for 1 month of injection pens it was £250. My partner said what happens after 16 weeks?
Good question, I’d not asked. Since I work 5 minutes walk to the hospital I went in to ask. Let me mention I am on the “fast track” due to diabetes and heart problems.
They went and got Dr X so I asked him. What happens after the 16 weeks ?
He said you continue to go through 16 week cycles until your multidisciplinary team meets the month before they actually assess you and book the theatre, but of course if they don’t all agree they can deny you the surgery and remove you from the programme.

Wait: after 2 years (that’s how long the wait list is) of spending (quick math in my head) almost £10,0000 on injections they can deny me surgery?
Yes
I am now furious
I ask him is the wait list over 24 months at this point? He tries to wiggle. I’ve got the bit in my teeth, after nearly 10 minutes of me getting more enraged and loud, he admits it is and I’m pencilled in for May 2024!

I write a blaster of a complaint email copying everyone I can think of and PALS, and say patients are being lied to, and I’m on the “fast track”?!?!

What about those not?

I’m having private surgery here in the U.K. in 2 weeks.

If this surgery isn’t only life saving but saves the NHS millions per diabetic over 25 years, can anyone there do math to save the diabetic programme?

If not, lying to desperate patients is just wrong

Thought I'd come back and update... I'm so so glad I made the decision to have the surgery. I'm 4 weeks post op and over 2 stone down already. Feeling fabulous and eating lovely food but in a controlled manner

If you keep relapsing, the surgery won't work either. People with your pattern tend to regain all the weight again after less than five years.

Congrats my sister had weight loss surgery and her life has improved so much, worth every penny. She appreciates and enjoys food more than ever now, just in a significantly more controlled portioned way, she focus' more on trying quality new cuisines rather than binging on large portions. Her relationship with food has changed completely.

Think she has lost about 10 stone in total, and a part from some acid reflux and feeling uncomfortable after eating bread shes had no issues.

Best of luck to you in your journey!