To consider fundraising/ go fund me / crowdfunding for weight loss surgery

[lotstolose1]

I imagine this will be a very controversial one and I am opening myself to opinions I potentially won't want to hear. All I ask is please don't be nasty and insulting (I can take harsh & honest)

I am fat, majorly fat, even considered super obese. I've tried everything under the sun, I always manage between a few pounds to a few stone and then fail or stall and put it back on plus more. BMI in the high 50's, almost 23 stone at 5ft 2. I am only in my early 20s.

My GP recently agreed that Bariatric surgery would most likely be the best way forward and agreed to put me forward on the NHS. This could take years, maybe 5.

I have looked into options privately and I just can't afford it. My credit is shot to bits. I've considered selling my car but then I'll just leave myself in a worse position as I'll still have the finance to pay off and then no car to get me about.

I have a few household things I could sell, to get maybe about £500 myself. I'm on very low income and no savings.

AIBU to maybe start a go fund me/ fundraising to raise the rest of the money I'd need. I'd need to raise maybe about £4K.

I am deeply unhappy and the thought of even posting pictures of myself and my weight online for a fundraiser terrifies me and not something I'd do lightly....I'm worried I'm running out of time, I'd like another child but don't want to grow through it while being this massive.

@winched totally agree with everything you said. I used to avoid oils and cook in Frylight spray instead. Since switching to olive oil for most things in the last year and ditching the frylight, not only have I lost weight but I enjoy my meals more and have gone from someone who used to snack all the time to someone who hardly ever snacks, and maybe has chocolate/ cake/ crisps once or twice a month.
Obviously I don’t pour loss of oil on everything and always measure using a teaspoon. I have olive oil every day as a salad dressing at lunch and several times a week for roasting veg, making potato wedges etc. Also use a teaspoon of sesame oil for stir fries. Our bodies actually need small amounts of fat and I only use margarine once a week on toast and everything else is home made, so by cutting out the snacks and takeaways, I have definitely reduced my overall fat intake.

@SchrodingersImmigrant but 2 tbsp is a lot of oil to use for one person in a dish! I only add 1 teaspoon max per person, which is 40 calories. That fits perfectly in a calorie counted diet. Added to the fact that it leaves me more satiated and less likely to snack, that actually saves me calories

[quote EssexLioness]@SchrodingersImmigrant but 2 tbsp is a lot of oil to use for one person in a dish! I only add 1 teaspoon max per person, which is 40 calories. That fits perfectly in a calorie counted diet. Added to the fact that it leaves me more satiated and less likely to snack, that actually saves me calories[/quote]
I think it depends if you’re measuring or pouring straight from the bottle. It’s really easy to add an extra couple of hundred calories by accident,

I'm literally waiting to be seen by the bariatric surgeon as I type this. I've been waiting 2 years, BUT C19 had a massive impact and I should've been on the 12 month pathway. If your BMI is that high, it will probably mean you're put on the 6 month pathway instead.

I wouldn't donate to a GoFundMe for this when we have NHS, yes it's a strain but so would diabetes / high blood pressure / other weight related illnesses.

I'd ask for a second opinion and insist on being referred. There will be a wait time but that's a given with how things currently stand.

@PurpleDaisies, good point! Yes it would be very easy to add that much if just pouring from the bottle. That’s why I measure it - far too easy to use more than you need otherwise.
@SchrodingersImmigrant mentioned Jamie Oliver and I agree... dread to think how much he uses in his dishes!

[quote EssexLioness]@SchrodingersImmigrant but 2 tbsp is a lot of oil to use for one person in a dish! I only add 1 teaspoon max per person, which is 40 calories. That fits perfectly in a calorie counted diet. Added to the fact that it leaves me more satiated and less likely to snack, that actually saves me calories[/quote]
Yeah. I said 2 are too much but fat is important

Sorry @SchrodingersImmigrant, my comprehension skills seem to be lacking today! I read it initially as oils don’t fit in a calorie counted diet, but can see you mean large amounts would be a no-go.

No problem😁 it absolutely happens to all of us!

olive oil in particular has been deemed as positively essential for good health, but it's loaded with calories and should be used rarely - it should have said sparsely! I didn't know how to edit it after posting.

I have watched Fat Fiction and I wasn't saying all fat is bad. Quite often advice needs more clarification was my point, saying something is healthy can give the impression to some that it's a 'have as much as you want' type of food, which isn't useful when trying to lose weight.

If you choose to consume your calories by "loading" a salad with 'healthy' oil you are not only reducing the quantity of food (or calories) remaining for that day but also limiting the benefits of the whole food in particular fibre. Yes, healthy fats are essential in our diet, but add half an avocado to a salad and sprinkle over a chopped walnut, tahini and some seeds and the meal will be packed with nutrients - and fats - and be far more fulfilling.

As for the rest of your post, I'm lost for words!

You do NOT have to eat far too much fir a very long time to get to 23 stone.

Absolutely correct. A relatively small over-eat, as time goes on, can build up to a big weight gain. Genetics play a part in this - some people have a lower 'set weight' point than others - if you're unlucky enough to have a high set weight point, your body will go on and on trying to reach it, and bouts of dieting only push it higher because your body thinks it has to prepare for famine.

I gained 7 stone in 10 years through modest, but persistent overeating. Was I eating tonnes of junk at the time? Not really. Takeaways - once in a blue moon. MacDonalds - last went there in 1997. It was more a case of too many slices of bread, too many roast potatoes, repeat repeat repeat, and denial about my weight gain until it was too late, and then a sense of 'fuck it' once I was in the obese territory and eating more or less whatever I wanted.

Since then my weight has been up and down more than once - I am a classic yo-yo dieter. I'm hoping that cutting out processed foods, which is working so far, will be sustainable where low calorie/low carb were diets I eventually tired of.

I read if you eat 100 calories per day more than your body needs then you’ll put on a stone a year. That’s like a dollop of mayonnaise extra.

You say WW worked for you but then you put it back on...

You say you did exercise challenge for charity and managed that OK.

So how about do WW challenge for charity - get people to donate per lb lost, if you HAVE to diarise and commit online to your band of followers , you can't really let them down can you, and you could raise shed loads for charity and actually lose weight,.but you'll have to show before current and after photos of course. Really commit to it.

Op I had Barratric Surgery. I would not recommend asking for crowd funding for it because you will leave your self wide open to abuse.

The process on the NHS for surgery is really robust and rightly so. See the long, step by step process ( 3 or more years) as a safeguard to ensure surgery is right for you.

The weight management team have to ensure you are physically OK to have surgery and mentally well enough too. It is life changing and you nerd to be able to deal with that.
This is why it takes a long time.

You could have private surgery, but you will not have all the mental well being checks that you have on the NHS.

Whatever route you go down you will have a smaller stomach, but you will still have head hunger and cravings surgery won't make those cravings dissappear Mentally you need to be able deal with that for the rest of your life.

For example, there are certain foods I cannot eat (could have in tiny quantities years on from surgery) because I would get dumping and become very ill.

Surgery is fantastic, but it is not for everyone. Go talk to your GP again.

I get the misery of being morbidly obese, but knowing you are taking action one tiny baby step at a time to reduce your weight will help you focus step by step on the surgery you hope to one day have.

Breakfast is probably my main area to work on first as everyone says it is the most important meal of the day. And for the the first mornings hunger is the worst one, if I don't eat as soon as I'm up I feel sick to the point I can sometimes throw up. When I've done various diets I have had better breakfasts and I do notice the change in the rest of my day.

I really struggle to eat breakfast but all the nutritionalists and personal trainers I’ve read about have said they wake up hungry and make a breakfast they enjoy so I wouldn’t cut it out if you like your breakfasts.
Obviously it depends on how much time you have in the morning but try having something like poached egg on toast or overnight oats as they are much more satisfying, filling and lower calorie/sugar than most boxed cereals.

Remember that everyone is different.
My friends diet when trying to loose weight is sugary cereal for breakfast, toast and butter for lunch, pizza for tea and biscuits for snacks. I am bigger than her but if I ate that then I would gain weight but it works for her and as she hates most fruits and vegetables she won’t do a diet that is high in them as she knows she’ll end up failing. I’m someone who thinks I must eat salads or things I don’t enjoy to lose weight and it’s really difficult to get out of that mind set.

[quote lotstolose1]@NeverDropYourMoonCup

I've never heard of that so just looked it up, unfortunately something I'm unable to take. I don't think I could have afforded it anyway. Thanks though.

I'm not sure if your comment of cheating the restrictions of 'I don't like that salad stuff' is a dig at me. But I am trying. I challenged myself to find more vegetables I like and I've actually managed about 6 that I enjoy now, most of my entire life that number has been zero so I'm proud of that.

In regards to cheating restrictions, easier said than done but I wouldn't. Or rather I only would once. Due to the dumping syndrome you get after a bypass, I think this could be one of the only things to put me off seeet, sugary bad treats. My willpower alone isn't enough at the minute and I'm not afraid to admit that. [/quote]
It's not a dig at you at all. It's a huge cause of failure after surgery and nobody ever thinks they'll do it, but they they don't really like what they're supposed to have and find that a hot chocolate or a freakshake slips down easily once, then they do it again and again...

I mean I don’t see the issue here - you’re not guaranteed to get any support from the public. You could post and get 1 donation

Please please do not travel abroad for this surgery to get it cheaper.

I have known 2 people to do so, 1 unfortunately died and left 4 small kids behind.
The other nearly died and spent 6 months in icu / hospital and still recovering years later.

@Nohugstoday25

Please please do not travel abroad for this surgery to get it cheaper.

I have known 2 people to do so, 1 unfortunately died and left 4 small kids behind.
The other nearly died and spent 6 months in icu / hospital and still recovering years later.

And how many people have had similar issues with UK surgery.

About the same amount. The risk is the surgery. Not travelling abroad. Paying another 6k to have it in England does not lower the routine standard risks for these surgeries.

Hi @lotstolose1if you think that dumping syndrome would put you off have you spoken to your GP about trying orlistat.

If you eat too much fat in one meal (more than 12g) you get runny orange oil from your bum and if you go too far over you will shit yourself.

The difficulty with it is that you have to wake up motivated enough each morning to take the first pill before you eat, once you’ve taken it you have to be good or you’re going to have problems.

It also binds about 1/3 of your dietary fat so reduces your calorie intake at the same time.

I think you should consider this alongside asking for some therapy / hypnotherapy to explore your relationship with food. It sounds like you have some addictive type issues and would really benefit from therapy whether you are able lose the weight naturally or end up down the surgery route.

Good luck - it’s so hard, but if you can find a routine that works for you and stick it out for a month it will honestly start to get easier.

As a comparison by the way a single pack of fridge raiders has 14g of fat, so you HAVE to swap your snack for something that’s better.

@RestingPandaFace thank you, I've never been given or even talked to about Orlistat. I've just been to the docs and weighed etc now and referral sent off to the weight management people. So maybe that's something they may try with me.

I tried the over-the-counter version of Orlistat (it's half the strength of the prescription one). As pp said, you certainly know about it if you eat too much fat. It's suitable if you're following a low-fat diet, but not for low carb high fat, or any diet where you don't watch your fat intake, as you'll just get orange stuff leaking out of your bum all day (been there, done that ).

Given your BMI you should be eligible for the full Orlistat on prescription so talk to your GP - they will advise you about a suitable diet to use with it, if they think it's appropriate.

The half strength version (called Alli) you can get from a pharmacist although you have to tell them your weight etc. - you can't just get it off the shelf.

It didn't work for me as I prefer limiting carbs to limiting fat, even if I am traditionally calorie-counting, but if you think a low-fat diet would suit you, it's possibly a good choice.

@soreenqueen21

About the same amount. The risk is the surgery. Not travelling abroad. Paying another 6k to have it in England does not lower the routine standard risks for these surgeries

Actually it does, and you also have proper follow up care.

That's really funny as a woman who paid 11k in UK has just posted to say her care has been terrible and they have zero support. I'll get a screen grab for you..

I've been following her journey and speaking privately for about 6 weeks.

Also they have a UK based dietician you can contact for and fee return hospital visits for upto 5 years post op included in the fee (obviously would have to pay flights and accommodation)