To consider fundraising/ go fund me / crowdfunding for weight loss surgery

[lotstolose1]

I imagine this will be a very controversial one and I am opening myself to opinions I potentially won't want to hear. All I ask is please don't be nasty and insulting (I can take harsh & honest)

I am fat, majorly fat, even considered super obese. I've tried everything under the sun, I always manage between a few pounds to a few stone and then fail or stall and put it back on plus more. BMI in the high 50's, almost 23 stone at 5ft 2. I am only in my early 20s.

My GP recently agreed that Bariatric surgery would most likely be the best way forward and agreed to put me forward on the NHS. This could take years, maybe 5.

I have looked into options privately and I just can't afford it. My credit is shot to bits. I've considered selling my car but then I'll just leave myself in a worse position as I'll still have the finance to pay off and then no car to get me about.

I have a few household things I could sell, to get maybe about £500 myself. I'm on very low income and no savings.

AIBU to maybe start a go fund me/ fundraising to raise the rest of the money I'd need. I'd need to raise maybe about £4K.

I am deeply unhappy and the thought of even posting pictures of myself and my weight online for a fundraiser terrifies me and not something I'd do lightly....I'm worried I'm running out of time, I'd like another child but don't want to grow through it while being this massive.

I'm sorry but I don't think you will get far with this idea. It'll also feel like a huge invasion of privacy.
You say you manage to lose a couple of pounds/stone so concentrate on that while you wait for a referral and keep your eye on the prize. You have to want to lose weight more than you want the pizza/biscuits/takeaway whatever it is that is your weakness. You just need to be mindful that you don't think of the surgery as the magical answer to all your prayers. It's a physical treatment for a psychological problem. I wish you all the luck, I know how hard it is.

@lotstolose1

Thanks everyone for the responses so far.

I don't think I will do it, I think I knew in my head it was ridiculous but I'm just at a loss with what I can do. I can imagine some local news paper or something picking up on it and then the whole country hounding me and taking the piss

If anyone has any good money saving ideas / fundraising ideas without directly asking people for money I'm happy to hear them. I will save every bit of spare money and sell anything I don't need too to get the fund started. It's just such a huge amount of money that seems so far out of reach

Overhaul what you’re spending on food. Bin all take aways. Cook more from scratch using things like dried lentils, vegetables, etc. Stop buying coffees from shops and put the money in a savings account instead. Drink water/squash instead of fizzy pop.

The other bonus will be you will most likely also lose weight and improve your health.

@PurpleDaisies

I wouldn’t. You’ll likely get a lot of abuse and not a lot of money.

Agree with this

Well done for acknowledging that there's a problem to be fixed, but I don't think online fundraising is the way to go

Yeah. What PP said. I don't think strangers will donate. But I do think they will have Opinions which they then feel entitled to share with you.

I would privately ask any friends or family whom you know to have decent cash reserves for a formal loan.

Will some private places do a payment plan?

Have you been to university op? If not then enrol at your local doing any course and apply for street loans. You get about 3k for your first patient. Then leave after a week and arrange a repayment plan.

@Br3style

I don't think you'd get much luck just expecting people to donate towards your surgery however, maybe you could do a challenge or something in exchange for the money. What is something no one would expect you to complete or take on? Shows your commitment to the cause and I think people would be more keen to support you on that. Be clear that the money they donate in support of the challenge will get you closer to the surgery.

Thank you Br3style - that's the type of thing I was thinking of otherwise, I just don't have a clue what the challenge could be!

Despite what people might think I can actually exercise and do so regularly without pain at the moment. I raised a few £100 for Cancer a while back with an exercise challenge. I still didn't manage to shift any weight. I think I might just be beyond help!

WW worked for me for a while but I got stuck in a rut and gained it all again.

Without me having really any health issues apart from being overweight I think it makes people think that this is a vanity operation. I'm doing it so that I can get slim before I start getting older and the health problems such as diabetes, sleep apnea etc start

Hi OP

Whether you know or don't know the reasons that you have ended up in this situation then you might be better off trying to see a weight management psychologist on the NHS whilst waiting to discuss bariatric surgery. Many people they see have difficulties with emotions and have been through traumatic events in life so you may also be opening yourself up on go fund me to people assuming you've been through X or Y and that's why you need surgery.

WW worked for me for a while but I got stuck in a rut and gained it all again.

You know you can loose weight. It’s maintaining that you needed help with.

What’s making you so afraid to try dieting again?

Lose not loose!

@fantastaballs

Have you been to university op? If not then enrol at your local doing any course and apply for street loans. You get about 3k for your first patient. Then leave after a week and arrange a repayment plan.

Wait..what? Is this a thing?
Surely it would be fraud?

@PurpleDaisies the issue is, I don't buy takeaways (don't have the money) I live on not much money at all for my food shop so already do a lot of home cooking. I don't drink fizzy pop anymore nor coffee. I don't have money to waste on junk food. I'm not eating too bad at all really. Don't get me wrong obviously I have overindulged to get me to the point I am now, of course. I just think now I'm this big I just can't get back to where I was. If a dietician was to sit down and look at my diet today I don't think there'd be much wrong actually. I just about manage to scrape together £30 a month for a swimming membership, as that's something I enjoy.

I've been tested for everything that could cause weight-gain and I don't have it. So at this point I don't know what else to do x

It's worth trying but yes, you may get abuse and you probably won't get funding. I sympathise because I was morbidly obese and nothing worked until I tried Overeaters Anonymous https://www.oagb.org.uk/. It's based on AA but for compulsive overeaters rather than alcoholics. It sees overeating as a disease and works on the emotional and spiritual side of the problem as well as the physical one. It's also free, donations encouraged but every meeting would rather have people there than money. Do surgery if it's right for you but while you are waiting I don't think you will lose anything by popping into some OA meetings. Most are on Zoom now so you can be a jet setter and go to the USA or Australia or anywhere. I know that when I first came in I didn't have the energy to diet. I just couldn't do it anymore. I don't know why OA worked but it did. Very good luck OP. Happy for you to DM me if you want to chat

I wouldn't. You'll get a lot of negativity.

Offer to do jobs for people for funds/donations, like walking their dogs or something. That way you'll get some exercise too.

Even a private hospital will want to see you lose some first before they operate.

I wouldn't donate to this, for a stranger.

What surgery are you looking at that costs 5k? Just out of interest.

I personally wouldn't, because I wouldn't donate so I would worry people would all feel the same.

If I make sense.

@fantastaballs

Have you been to university op? If not then enrol at your local doing any course and apply for street loans. You get about 3k for your first patient. Then leave after a week and arrange a repayment plan.

Is that morally okay? it does actually sound quite genious but maybe a bit wrong. I haven't been to uni, but I also don't have any further education to get in. Did very well at GCSE but stopped there to go straight into work. Kinda regret that but that's another story

I believe you op. I bet your metabolism is screwed. You'll never succeed long term following a diet. You probably need fewer calories than an online calculator says you do (someone will tell you to use one in a minute and suggest walking every day as if that'll make any difference). Please don't be dispirited by people saying surgery is the easy way out, it's not.

Get on the waiting list and push for it.

My friend considered the surgery but it was going to take a long time and the doctors said she had to get healthier first. She used meal replacement shakes and soups for a full year and managed to lose over 100 pounds. Could that be an option for you?
A go fund me might work but tbh I think you'd be better off trying to treat this as a food addiction and get some help with the psychological side.

@SirenSays

My friend considered the surgery but it was going to take a long time and the doctors said she had to get healthier first. She used meal replacement shakes and soups for a full year and managed to lose over 100 pounds. Could that be an option for you? A go fund me might work but tbh I think you'd be better off trying to treat this as a food addiction and get some help with the psychological side.

How long has she maintained it for once losing it ? Everyone I know that has done this put it ALL back on and then some.

Op - read Why We Eat Too Much. Great book

Don't get me wrong obviously I have overindulged to get me to the point I am now, of course. I just think now I'm this big I just can't get back to where I was. If a dietician was to sit down and look at my diet today I don't think there'd be much wrong actually.

You must still be eating more to stay at that weight though. Where do you think the extra calories are coming from? If you stopped spending there, the money could go in a savings account.

[quote lotstolose1]@PurpleDaisies the issue is, I don't buy takeaways (don't have the money) I live on not much money at all for my food shop so already do a lot of home cooking. I don't drink fizzy pop anymore nor coffee. I don't have money to waste on junk food. I'm not eating too bad at all really. Don't get me wrong obviously I have overindulged to get me to the point I am now, of course. I just think now I'm this big I just can't get back to where I was. If a dietician was to sit down and look at my diet today I don't think there'd be much wrong actually. I just about manage to scrape together £30 a month for a swimming membership, as that's something I enjoy.

I've been tested for everything that could cause weight-gain and I don't have it. So at this point I don't know what else to do x[/quote]
I don’t think this can be true. If you post here what you eat in a day people should be able to help. I used to think I was eating pretty healthily. I went to a nutritionist for an unrelated reason and it turns out I wasn’t. I lost that last stubborn half stone of weight I couldn’t get off within weeks of changing to what she recommended.

Also exercise is not really much good for weight loss. It’s all about the food.

@RefuseTheLies the gastric bypass. In the Uk it's between 9-12k depending where you'd go. That is totally unreachable for me, so the lower figure is from travelling abroad for the surgery.

Andrew Jenkinson's 'Why we eat too much' has been a game-changer for me. The eating style recommended is based on cutting out processed foods, rather than restricting. Jenkinson is a bariatric surgeon so knows what he is talking about with regard to extreme obesity. I've lost 2.5 stone since January following his advice.

With the crowd-funder you'd run the risk of trolls saying awful things, or at best, lots of 'eat less move more' bores.

Best of luck whatever you decide.

For years my dad would say he eats really healthily and didn't know why he was obese. We knew he had issues with portion control, secret eating, eating bits while he was cooking, second portions but we had to be really sensitive to him. He's recently lost 4 stone with Noom and feels so much better. I guess sometimes it can be hard to see the full picture of what you're eating.