To ask if these are suitable chores for a teenager?

[yoyo1234]

I think it is time to get my eldest to help out a bit around the house and start to take some responsibility for themselves.
Currently they do not make their own breakfast, pack their own school bag, make their bed, put their laundry in the laundry bin..... Basically we do everything they even get breakfast in bed (a lot of the time).
I was thinking get their own breakfast, pack own school bag, make bed etc in morning. Once per week make a simple meal for family (they tell us what they want to prepare we get ingredients and help), maybe at weekend do 1 hour gardening and do one dishwasher and washing machine load (to help gain independence).

15 years old

my 8 year old does all those chores so teens def

My 8 year old makes her own breakfast!

No, those are not suitable chores for a 15 year old.

They are more suitable for an 9 or 10 year old.

And all the other things you are asking of a 15 year old. Including helping to cook. You are way to soft

Wow what lazy ill equipped children you have. Not their fault though and never too late to start.

ALL of those jobs could easily be done by a younger child - life skill and independence skills are important and underrated by some. They need to learn to do things for themselves and not be kept at the 'baby' stage.

I’m with you on the breakfast, bag and bed and dishwasher but I think one hour gardening is a bit much.
I would start with the above then bring in the meal part more gently; unless they’re really keen to do it then start with getting them to help prepare veg etc rather than jump straight into expecting them to do a meal.
If you go from nothing to 100 too quick then you’re going to risk overwhelming them and having real problems getting them to do it

Good idea to give some responsibility and jobs to be accountable for
My friends teen from aged 11 was expected to mow the lawn , tidy his room help with laundry , help with meal prep and cooking , dishwasher , and help with the pet dogs , along with keeping on top of his homework , none of this hurt as he's grown up into an responsible organised housetrained young adult with a good education

To be honest you are about 8 - 10 years too late for most of that.

A 15 year old should be able to do much more than what you have outlined there. All the items on your list are things that most children start doing much younger.

Even the prepare a simple meal, you then go on to say that you would get the items and help them prepare it?

I really think you need to set the bar a bit higher. The list you have is more suited to 5 to 10 year olds.

I am making it clear to my DH that the list is easily acceptable (he does lots of those things for them) from the responses.

my teens and preteen do all of that own breakfast, pack their own school bag, make their bed, put their laundry in the laundry bin

plus

• prepare their own lunchbox
• unload the dishwasher
• put their clean laundry away
• clean their own room
• take away the recycling
• cook dinner once a month
• change their own bedding

probably more, but those I can think of right now

I have 3 kids between aged between 8 and 4 and they all make their own breakfast, they all make their own beds, they all make sure they have their books in their book bags and they all put their dirty dishes in the dishwasher and they put their dirty clothes in the laundry basket.

So yes. A 15 year old can do it too.

Get a back bone OP and kick your kids into action!

Sorry but you pack your 15 yr olds school bag???!

Whaaa. Your child needs to gain some independence and quickly!

On a pretty much daily basis my 8&9yos...
Make their own breakfast (unless it's something like bacon... They can do porridge and scrambled eggs)
Make their own packed lunches
Set the table for dinner, including making sure everyone has a drink
Put dirty plates in dishwasher. Unload dishwasher except cups as they can't reach the mug cupboard.

They help with other stuff as needed. For example they got the washing in yesterday when I was cooking dinner.
They are also supposed to keep their bedrooms tidy but that's a work in progress!

In a few years your teenagers will need to be capable of looking after themselves. Over coddling doesn't do them any good in the long run. Doesn't mean you can't do nice things for them, but it should be reciprocated... So they make up coffee sometimes and voce versa. Making lunch for everyone. Tidying up own mess. That sort of thing.

@whatabelter

Sorry but you pack your 15 yr olds school bag???!

Whaaa. Your child needs to gain some independence and quickly!

I can't imagine making a 15 year old a bowl of cereal. That's insane. And breakfast in bed most of the time.

OP sort it out or they will never leave the comfort of their cushy home life and you will be pandering to them forever!

A 15-year-old is capable of most household chores that an adult does. They should be helping out in the kitchen, cleaning dishes, cooking the odd meal, cleaning bathrooms (on a rota), hoovering, and keeping their own rooms tidy and clean. Packing their own school bag and making breakfast isn't a chore - it's just life admin that you need to do for yourself, seriously goes-without-saying stuff.

Packing the schoolbag for him is on par with brushing his teeth for him.

I'm surprised your 15 year old isn't embarrassed at having his bag packed for him. WTF to breakfast in bed, your DH is bonkers

I'm happy to hear these responses I have been saying they need to do these things (DH does lots of the list).

At 15 ideally they are learning to live as an independent adult, with you to fall back on for help and support. So all personal care, cleaning for themselves (bedroom, sheets, own laundry), household tasks as if in a flat-share (dishes, cleaning bathrooms, kitchen, hoovering), own breakfast and lunch and occasional evening meal, share of/helping with bigger tasks like cleaning windows, unblocking gutters etc.

If he hasn’t haven’t done these chores by age 15 you will have to build up rather than dropping them all on him at once, but you will REALLY be doing him a disservice if you keep doing everything for him.

It’s not about making the parents lives easier, it’s about bringing up a confident young adult who has learned independence in a safe supportive environment.

All bar gardening. I think getting them to mow the lawn every so often is fine but if they have no interest in gardening 1 hour a week seems a long time.

Will be showing DH this thread.

I’m shocked at your list. It’s way to little. I’m a secondary school teacher and I’m amazed that you pack your child’s bag.

My just turned 5 year old

• makes her bed
• puts her washing in the washing basket
• puts away her clean folded clothes
• with help gets her uniform out for next day
• helps to empty the dishwasher

Next I’m going to move onto emptying her school bag when she gets home.

I see my role as a parent to prepare my children to become have happy, healthy and productive adults.

It’s an interesting exercise to think about what you think it means to be a parent.

Breakfast in bed?? WTF??
And packing a 15 year old’s school bag? 😵 I’m embarrassed for the poor kid!
Yes they should absolutely be responsible for getting themselves completely ready for school, their own room and a few chores.

You say your eldest, how old are your other children because they should probably be doing all of this too!

Everything on your list is what most kids I know do already. From a much younger age.
So yes, those chores are completely suitable.
Does your dh want him to grow into a competent adult, able to look after himself and, possibly a future partner and family?