The expectation of daily sex.

[Chillionice]

Being 44 yr old mother of 3 (13/11/10) with husband for nearly 15 yrs I would love some advice or reassurance about how to manage the sexual expectation.

My husband & I have may incompatibilities and underwent counselling 5 yrs ago. He has begrudgingly accepted that our sex life is not going to be as colourful or plentiful as he would like. A daily morning session seems to have been settled upon yet I still struggle with this. Eroticism was never a part of our marriage, kissing ended years ago & we are left with this daily session that seems to placate my husband but still fills me with dread and sadness.
I write this at 7.21 on a Monday morning having started the day, the week etc exactly the same way once again. This interaction between us to me confirms the loneliness of our relationship - both sides wanting something so different and kind of compromising on this middle ground. I frequently try to put off a dawn toilet visit incase my husband stirs and feel a lot of resentment that I can seldom start the day relaxed, dozing, contemplating bird song etc. Nor am I excused if I’ve been up with the kids in the night or have a challenging day ahead. It feels relentless, unwaning, an appetite I can never sate.

One of our incompatibilities that counselling could only do so much to resolve was poor communication. My husband is emotionally very distant and easily offended meaning I really have to just accept this situation and be grateful try to think it’s only 5 minutes of the day.
So anyone in the same boat with any advice of how to keep a positive mind for 5 mins daily to hold a marriage together, please let me know how you do it!!! Thanks.

Old thread alert.

I put ybu because it is unreasonable to ask how you remain positive while being raped. This needs to stop and if that means ending the relationship so be it.

This is not acceptable, you have to put an end to it. What advice would you give a friend in this situation ? I bet you would tell her to kick him out. Please think treasure yourself more tomorrow than you do today.

Years ago a friend told me her MIL admitted this had happened from her wedding night, every night without fail until her seventies when Alzheimer's meant he had to be put in a home when he became violent and tried it on other women including my friend. The care staff had to be very careful around him, he was physically strong still.

There are some awful men whose partners suffer silently for decades

Sorry, just read your update, so glad you made the decision to have a good life x

I feel like the thread title needs to be changed to add in: THREAD ORIGINATED IN 2021, PLEASE READ ALL OF OPS POSTS BEFORE COMMENTING!!!!

...I've read all of your posts OP, and well fucking done you for ending it and giving yourself your freedom and future back. Your posts were so sad but so eloquently written. Hope you a lovely and peaceful lie in tomorrow ☕

and i hope mornings sleeping in and listening to birdsong. well done.

I missed this thread the first time round but have read all your posts OP. I’m so glad you got out!!! Now you can enjoy the rest of your life and listen to that bird song each morning ❤️

I remember your thread so much that when I saw this pop up I thought oh no another woman in the same situation not realising immediately it was you updating! Congratulations on being so brave. You are an inspiration to your kids.

reading your update has made me so teary! I’m so happy and pleased you managed to dump that complete idiot. I have read so many similar posts recently and wonder why us women are happy to set the bar so low in our relationships? It’s so nice to actually have someone return to a thread with such a positive and hopeful ending. Well done you for being so strong,

So so happy to read your updates. I read your posts last year but didn’t comment.

Go girl.

Hey OP, this is such a great update, massive congratulations! Wishing you and your DC the very best and happiest life x

What a wonderful update! What a dark time you were going through. I wish you and your kids the very best. x

I just cried at your update OP. I remember reading this and posting on the thread last summer.

Enjoy the morning bird song you amazingly strong women.

Horrifying, OP. I'm trying to imagine what kind of man would have no problem with raping his wife every morning, know she dreads it and gets not 1 second of pleasure or enjoyment out of it. No kissing, nothing. Please just run, run and don't look back.

Wow OP. What strength you have shown. What courage. Your children must be very proud of you.

Your update today is wonderful, OP, I’m so pleased.

Thank goodness you have got free.

Well done OP.

You are a strong person. You are moving on with your children by your side. A new chapter begins now.

I remember this thread well.

Well done for getting rid of him @Chillionice x

Wonderful to read the whole thread from start to finish and to see it has a happy ending. I hope you didn't exchange one sadness for another in the end xx

That's a beautiful update. Best of luck with everything and I hope you enjoy the birds singing every morning for the rest of your life xxx

I am glad and relieved to read your update. Wishing you and your children a happier future.

Thank you for your brilliant update @Chillionice Well done, and very best wishes for a wonderful future listening to the bird and smelling the roses, on your own terms. You have made my day.

Yabu for still being with this man.
He uses you to blow his load. A 5 minute quicky every day in the morning isn't sex.
He just has needs that you are there to fulfil. It's gross.

But you agreed to it. So unagree with it rn
Tell him to get lost and end your "marriage" asap

At least do an OP the courtesy of reading all their posts if you can’t be fucked to read the whole thread.