Child in elite sport... Aibu to let her miss training for bday party

[Homeontherangeuk]

My child is an elite athlete & we're on holiday this week... She's just been invited to an outdoor bday party... Usually I'd say you have training but given the past year I'm inclined to say fuck it & let her go... But we're also away this weekend so she's missing two trainings but making all her weeklys...

Thats what I thought. People bringin up football and cricket really aren't talking about the same thing.

I don't know of anything quite like it.

There is no reason why they should reach their peak at such a young age (Beckie Downie is in her late 30s)

Is this a typo? She's 29

@CrimsonImp sorry yes, I meant late 20s!

@NerrSnerr

There is a lot of work happening at the moment within gymnastics to change the culture (with the whole gymnastics alliance thing).

The things that they are realising are
Gymnasts don't need to be slight and don't need to keep their weight significantly down (eg Ellie Downie is muscular)
There is no reason why they should reach their peak at such a young age (Beckie Downie is in her late 30s)
Lockdown has proved you can take a break and still be a world class gymnast.
They are also looking at the culture of the classes. Why is it all behind closed doors? Why can't parents watch? Why are some gyms still weighing girls who are going through puberty and not allowing elite athletes to eat snacks. (Jennifer Pinches once got reported to the head coach for having pineapple for pudding when at a training camp).

There is a lot that has to change and there is no way I'd let a child go through it until it does.

And very sadly the Downie sisters’ work with the gymnastic alliance, and bravery in speaking out against cruelty within British Gymnastics has been rewarded by Becky being left out of the Olympic team, despite being GB’s best medal hope both for the team and individually. There is so far to go before gymnastics can provide a safe environment for young children.

f*K elite sport, her mental health and being what she is, a child, is much more important.

I completely agree @toastofthetown. The way Amy Tinkler was treated was appalling too. The stories of abuse that are coming out are heartbreaking and it appears that many parents just didn't have a clue. Ellie Downie was regularly weighed as a teen and told she needed to lose weight constantly because her build is different to other gymnasts. Jennifer Pinches was told off by her coach for eating a bit of pineapple for dessert (the chaperone reported her to the coach) and there are so many other stories.

There are other sports too where abuse stories are coming out (I know telegraph women did a report this weekend which highlighted the Scottish athletics coach banned for sexually assaulting young adults) but it's the closed door thing that worries me so much about gymnastics.

Why is the clossd door thing such a thing ? I hadn't realised it wasn't just our gym.

All sports have the opportunity for abuse, Olympic ones more significantly due to the "value" it gives to coaches etc., one of the main problems with gymnastics is that the selection happens pre-puberty, and if the body doesn't grow in the way the coach demands, they end up trying to force it, and really encouraging dysmorphia when sport should be a positive for health, it's almost certainly why people encouraged their children into sport in the first place.

Heck, I came back to see if OP had decided on the party and the collective seem to have decided the child does gymnastics and that it is damaging her. Good luck OP with reading all this!! Oh and my vote was for the party

Interesting to see this thread being discussed on twitter by various sporting types. See Dr Josie Perry

Wow really. I dont have twitter. Whats the angle?

The full thread is interesting. I have to agree. The full consensus is that no 8 year old should miss a party due to being an 'elite' athlete.

Thanks I found it - she's definitely on the right track imho.

We had to sign a waiver at 6 years old to say we would prioritse attending gymnastics...

how many of the kids on the elite pathway will end up as a professional sports person?

Probably not many... but you've got no chance if you AREN'T on the pathway...

If no one put in the obsessive amount of training from a young age, w wouldn't;' have any champions

If no one put in the obsessive amount of training from a young age, w wouldn't;' have any champions

I disagree. If we didn’t force children to put in such huge hours and miss out on so much at search an early age, we’d have fewer burn out and quit. Also we exclude a whole raft of talented kids who don’t get taken to a gymnastics class until they’re 8 or 9.

There is no evidence to suggest that the heavy hours heavy commitment approach works over a more balanced one.

Richard Shorter the 'non perfect dad' has a lot to say about specialising too soon and causing children to fall out of love with sport. He gave a talk to parents at both my children's schools and speaks a lot of sense.

I have a daughter who lover sport but we have been careful to keep her interests broad and varied.

Party ,of course

guessing its swimming sport thing ?
friends outside of sport are vital.

If no one put in the obsessive amount of training from a young age, w wouldn't;' have any champions

We'd have exactly the same number of champions.

Why is it gymnastics that requires this very early specialisation, most sports do not require it at all, and it has lots of negatives in research, www.scienceforsport.com/early-sports-specialisation/ has some info and references.

My son is in elite sport albeit older now. At 9 I would have chosen the party. Most kids flogging their guts out for elite sport won't end up at the Olympics or even close. My son had a fabulous run and travelled the world but I'm glad we made decisions for him rather than sports progression.

Only you and your daughter can decide that. My son would never miss his football for a party and I wouldn’t let him, but that’s more to do with it being a team sport. His good friends know how committed he is to his football so always make sure that their parties don’t clash.

My son is 9 and plays for a couple of football academies and I totally get the pressure. Im not sure of this has already been suggested but I would take her to training considering one is already being missed and have a 'summer party' yourself so she doesn't miss out on the party

Do we get 8yo elite athletes? I have a daughter who’s won British titles in her dance field. She more recently has become very successful in her age group at running - winning and picking up trophies. She’s 11! She’s always missed classes and training for various things, in fact every week she misses a Tuesday on the track because she dances at the same time. Coach is happy with that, he said he’s only trained 1 kid who has her work ethic and he’s just qualified for the olympics.
If she has the natural potential at age 8 to become elite, she can absolutely go to birthday parties, in my opinion

Prammy - it's a very different culture in gymnastics.

I wonder if someone could start a gymnastics/culture/elite/pressure on them young thread to avoid it being about OP? I'd be keen!

I’ve never been sporty and my kids aren’t either so reading this thread has been a bit of a revelation into a whole different world for me.

I was wondering - do these kids aged 8 know the sports classes they are doing are designated ‘elite’ and that parents & coaches are already thinking about whether they’ll make the 2030 Olympic squad or whatever? Or is it presented to the child as ‘you like gymnastics, you’re pretty good at it, here’s a class you’ll enjoy, plus a few competitions’.

My daughter is 8 and I can’t imagine her being able to fully comprehend and agree to being on some ‘elite track’ that would massively limit her free time, socialising options, etc for the next decade or so. Can any 8 year olds really comprehend what a decade of intensive sports training will be like?!