Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be annoyed at getting home to this...

141 replies

Hourbyehours · 05/06/2021 20:27

First day out with a friend since sept last year, come home house is as I left it, kids beds not made, dirty washing in their rooms, dishwasher not emptied and washing up piled in the sink, loads of flies in the kitchen because food left out and surfaces covered in food bits. Mess in front room which my husband left from last night. I know I’m being a bit grouchy, but I really object to having a day off and then coming home to mess! Plus I am working tomorrow 0700 start.... husband says it’s not fair for me to come home and moan because he would never do that... my repsone was that he wouldn’t come home to that mess in the the first place!

OP posts:
Grayhairworry · 05/06/2021 20:28

Oh come on lifes too short

Sirzy · 05/06/2021 20:29

Beds not made - does it matter as a one off?

Dirty clothes in rooms - well if it’s not in the wash basket it won’t be washed so their problem

The rest get everyone to spend 10 minutes sorting it and it will be done.

UhtredRagnarson · 05/06/2021 20:29

Well you’re away from 7.00 tomorrow so they can clean it while you’re at work.

WithLoveFromMyselfToYourself · 05/06/2021 20:29

Don’t touch it. Have a very easily night.

YANBU.

Original poster
Hourbyehours · 05/06/2021 20:29

Indeed it is, you are right about that certainly. Still don’t think I should have to clear up after everyone all the time

OP posts:
Aprilwasverywet · 05/06/2021 20:29

So he protested because you went out?

WithLoveFromMyselfToYourself · 05/06/2021 20:30

That should read “early”

MrsFin · 05/06/2021 20:30

@Hourbyehours

Indeed it is, you are right about that certainly. Still don’t think I should have to clear up after everyone all the time

Don't then.

Original poster
Hourbyehours · 05/06/2021 20:32

@Sirzy it does sound ridiculous I know but I asked them to do it and he just doesn’t reinforce anything. Maybe I am just too strict. I know life is too short but it’s the principle- maybe I am pig headed but I feel insulted that I work full time and do all the housework and he doesn’t seem to have any idea what that takes

OP posts:
Original poster
Hourbyehours · 05/06/2021 20:33

@MrsFin but I don’t want to live in a mess so I either clear it up now or another day

OP posts:
Original poster
Hourbyehours · 05/06/2021 20:36

All I have achieved though is making myself feel like crap, wish I could be one of those mums that doesn’t care about this kind of stuff, but it’s just not me

OP posts:
SpaceOp · 05/06/2021 20:41

I completely understand. Agree that bes and washing isn't that big a deal butnits cumulative. And dirty mess everywhere is not OK.

I came home from.night away to cleaned bathrooms, dds room.vacuumed and kitchen tidy. Because my dh is a mature adult who doesn't need me to be there for him to realise stuff has to be done. But truthfully, we had to work up to this maturity.

C152 · 05/06/2021 20:43

YANBU. If you can afford it, treat yourself to a nice hotel for the night, so you don't have to look at the mess, you can enjoy a peaceful dinner, cooked by someone else, and have a stress-free night before your early start tomorrow. Tell them you expect everything to be clean and orderly by the time you get home from work tomorrow, and for them to have a suggestion (that does not involve you doing it all) as to how chores can be split moving forward.

MissyB1 · 05/06/2021 20:43

Yeah that would piss me off! It’s like they waited for you to come home and do it all - well don’t! Make it crystal clear it’s to be done whilst you are at work tomorrow.

GrumpyMiddleAgedWoman · 05/06/2021 20:44

I'd ignore the beds and dirty laundry, but would have a shitting fit of epic proportions at coming home to such a chaotic kitchen. You clear up kitchens as you go along, utterly squalid otherwise.

Morechocolatethanbarbara · 05/06/2021 20:44

That is so disrespectful.

No one wants to come home to a kitchen full of food scraps and flies, that's really grim.

What kind of environment did he grow up in that he would want himself and his DC to live in that kind of squalor?

Tell them all to clean up their shit now and fully disinfect that scummy kitchen, that really is disgusting.

ChaToilLeam · 05/06/2021 20:45

YANBU. He’s a lazy arse.

Bagelsandbrie · 05/06/2021 20:46

That would piss me off.

cardibach · 05/06/2021 20:46

@Hourbyehours

All I have achieved though is making myself feel like crap, wish I could be one of those mums that doesn’t care about this kind of stuff, but it’s just not me
Sorry, but this reads like you think you are better than people who have messy homes. If you stop thinking this yo7 will find it easier to leave things to let other people step up.
omgthepain · 05/06/2021 20:51

How long has this bloke been your husband? He needs re-training 🤣🤣🤣

Mine wouldn't dream of doing that and as for eating and dirty pots in bedrooms - not a chance

SheilaWilcox · 05/06/2021 20:55

come home house is as I left it,

I'd just be relieved it wasn't worse than I left it. It's not right, but that's how bad my DH & DD are.

Original poster
Hourbyehours · 05/06/2021 20:56

@cardibach fair enough for you to say that, it’s not what I meant though, honestly. I don’t care for one second about other peoples homes- I was brought up in a very strict and sterile environment so I think it has more to do with that. Lived in I can deal with!

OP posts:
Clymene · 05/06/2021 20:57

How disgusting. I really don't believe any posters on here who say they'd be happy to come home to a kitchen crawling with flies either.

I'd go to a hotel too. Your husband is a lazy slob.

Regularsizedrudy · 05/06/2021 20:57

Tell him he needs to clean it up.

Regularsizedrudy · 05/06/2021 20:58

And yes this would majorly piss me off. It’s really disrespectful.