To think many women don't like their partner using porn

[itsnotnormalisit]

I don't like the thought of my DP using porn... he thinks most women don't mind and can't understand why women would have an issue with it and that IABU

I would hate it. It’s degrading and objectifying women. The power dynamics in porn are toxic.

On MN you’ll get a resounding agreeement but I personally don’t mind as I watch porn myself.

I have an issue with it.

@RunningFromInsanity I am the same. I can’t be hypocritical about it.

A problem why would I? Why would I mind my fella looking at another woman’s naked body and fantasising over shagging her? Would I be hurt - noooo way. It’s not like I would be hurt if he couldn’t keep his eyes off a woman in the street, went home and knocked one out thinking about her.

What world do men actually live in to think their partners wouldn’t be bothered!!!!!

I don't mind but everybody is different.

If you think men don’t fantasise over other women when they masturbate, you are mistaken.

@RunningFromInsanity agreed.
As long as it doesn't affect our sex life, e.g him making disparaging comments or expecting me to look/sound the way they do...then I have no problem.
Long term monogamy is hard. Being with the same partner for 40+ years is daunting. A bit of fantasy is fine in my opinion.

I have no issue with it and (truthfully) think it's mega controlling when women do. It's quite literally not affecting you in any way at all - his body, his choice.

I would mind for the same reasons as @IsThePopeCatholic

I find the whole industry abhorrent and couldn't have a ltr with someone who supported it in any way. In the same way I'd not marry a Tory. I'd be happy to shag one, they often make decent short term lovers, but long term, it would represent too much of a differing of values and morals for me.

‘His body his choice?’ Erm... you think women who object to porn object to their partner masturbating? I think you’ve misunderstood.

If he’s wanking to porn then he’s not satisfied in the bedroom. Well that’s my theory, I’m sure someone will come along to debunk it.

@UnfriendlyFriendly

I have no issue with it and (truthfully) think it's mega controlling when women do. It's quite literally not affecting you in any way at all - his body, his choice.

But there are loads of things where you could make that argument. It might not affect me in any way at all if a man had all manner of abhorrent views, but I still get to draw my lines and say those are men I don't want a relationship with.

It's not controlling to have boundaries. Porn use would be crossing one of mine.

I'm assuming my DP watches some porn, I don't wanna know. Don't ask, don't tell. I'd be very upset if he was watching any kind of cam girls though as id feel very sorry for the women and grossed out by his morals.

@FreezerBird There's a huge difference between "I don't like this aspect of who you are and therefore do not want a relationship with you" and "I don't like that behaviour (that in no way actually affects me or harms anyone) so you have to stop it or I'm a victim of you".

‘I have no issue with it and (truthfully) think it's mega controlling when women do. It's quite literally not affecting you in any way at all - his body, his choice.’

He’s watching it, not appearing in it. It isn’t his body.

I don’t like it, you’re not alone with that. DP knows and respects my feelings about it. If he didn’t, I’d consider it a dealbreaker.

Irrelevant what other women think. If you don't like it he should respect that. Men don't need porn, some of them just want it. So refusing to give it up is sheer lack of respect and I wouldn't take any notice of the cool wives, their partners don't respect women either.

@toconclude

Irrelevant what other women think. If you don't like it he should respect that. Men don't need porn, some of them just want it. So refusing to give it up is sheer lack of respect and I wouldn't take any notice of the cool wives, their partners don't respect women either.

Women don't need soap operas - would you think it's a "sheer lack of respect" for a woman to watch it if their husband doesn't like it?

@toconclude

Irrelevant what other women think. If you don't like it he should respect that. Men don't need porn, some of them just want it. So refusing to give it up is sheer lack of respect and I wouldn't take any notice of the cool wives, their partners don't respect women either.

Why is people speaking honestly about this topic, when a question has been asked, mean that they are being “cool wives”?

I really don't care tbh

The vast majority of women doing “sex work” which includes taking part in porn films are vulnerable and exploited - modern day slaves.

People who watch that stuff are contributing to the exploitation of those women. I am not sure how they square that with their conscience.

There are some exceptions. But they are few and far between.

I don't get the attraction of porn. What's so attractive about seeing private parts close-up etc? Urgh.

That aside, it's reasonable to assume that nearly all men use porn, but also some women use it too.

I don't think they're cool wives... maybe some women are genuinely ok with it, I think others are in denial and think they are ok with it because they don't think they could stop it even if they wanted to. I'm not ok with it but I don't bother fighting about it because i think dp would just do it behind my back anyway.