To think many women don't like their partner using porn

[itsnotnormalisit]

I don't like the thought of my DP using porn... he thinks most women don't mind and can't understand why women would have an issue with it and that IABU

Yes I just googled it in the press. “Porn Hub pledge to plant a tree for every 100 videos watched.” You couldn’t make it up

Good grief. Plant a tree for every hundred wanks. What next? A memorial bench for every thousand videos watched?

Porn is just so sad, so destructive. Whether it is degrading might just be a fact, it's surely not aspirational to make porn. Would most parents be delighted if their kids went into this 'industry'.

Didn’t Only Fans recently make the wonderful move of fully refunding the men who’d been sending money to children for filmer sexual acts / images?

I mean, whats really important here is that the men are made whole obviously, poor men 🙄

I can’t believe any women are happy to consume material from this industry but it’s clear those who do use it don’t want to think too hard about those harmed so they can have a slightly quicker / better orgasm. The more you think about it, the more repellent it is.

Didn’t PornHub also reach new heights of altruism during the pandemic when they offered to “help out” by making their paid-for subscription service free to all the poor locked-down men of the world?

@priya3 It was free to everyone - not just men

It would signal the end of my relationship if DH was using porn.

Just been reading through this thread with interest. I started another with some similarities.
My husband has a porn addiction and we're trying to work through it. It's very tough and upsetting as the partner.
I personally hate the porn industry both morally and for what it's done to me/my husband/family on a personal level.
Opinions seem to be quite extreme though on MN. Either people see porn as all OK or it's, 'I'd ditch my husband, boyfriend, if he ever watched porn'. Is another else in the grey? I hate porn but is it a deal breaker to lose a partner over? A partner where there's still love. Would recovery for them not be a better outcome? Just feels like some women would divorce their husbands in an instant if they found out about porn. I guess everyone has different limits to what's make or break.

Gosh no, it doesn't bother me in the slightest.

On MN the majority seem anti-porn. In real life I've never really met anyone who's had an issue with it, or who has admitted to having an issue with it anyway.

A 2018 study found that 73% of women and 98% of men had watched pornography in the past six months. It's far more common to watch it than to not.

On threads like these the people who are against porn (and fair enough, you've every right to have an ethical issue with something) tend to be the loudest and most directly challenging so it can seem like the majority don't. People who are fine with it might be put off sharing that due to the responses they'll get.

@mag2305

Just been reading through this thread with interest. I started another with some similarities. My husband has a porn addiction and we're trying to work through it. It's very tough and upsetting as the partner. I personally hate the porn industry both morally and for what it's done to me/my husband/family on a personal level. Opinions seem to be quite extreme though on MN. Either people see porn as all OK or it's, 'I'd ditch my husband, boyfriend, if he ever watched porn'. Is another else in the grey? I hate porn but is it a deal breaker to lose a partner over? A partner where there's still love. Would recovery for them not be a better outcome? Just feels like some women would divorce their husbands in an instant if they found out about porn. I guess everyone has different limits to what's make or break.

You say you're trying to work through it - what proactive actions has he taken to do so? As often on here couples are 'trying' to work through something one partner is doing that is harmful to their relationship but actually it just means the partner doing the damaging thing has just said they are sorry and that they are trying not to do it anymore. Which rarely works. Whats he actively doing to change?

@ChangePart1 maybe it's the admitting to having a problem with it. I don't think it's something people talk about so how would we ever really know. I've openly talked about it because it's directly harming my life as my husband is addicted to it.

The fact that it’s a normalised that some women genuinely believe every single man does it is staggering. Some don’t seem to realise that masturbation and porn are not inextricably linked. I agree. You always get people on here who say their male partners also object to porn/don't watch porn and straight away other posters say how their partners musy be lying. Like there can't possibly be men with personal morals.
My partner used to watch it but no longer does. A big part of that is because I was raped so many times by my ex and some images and videos were put online. I personally believe him but have had people on here laughing and sneering at me for believing him.

Sometimes we watch it together for inspiration. I don't understand how you can be inspired by people who may have been trafficked, abused and raped. It makes me feel sick tbh.

The "I only watch amateur porn" doesn't work either because you may have seen a video or images of me when I was being abused and raped and just think it was a home video.

@youvegottenminuteslynn just wondered if you're speaking from personal experience?

It's been an up and down journey with his addiction but it's never been a case of sorry and move on. He's started seeing a different addiction recovery therapist. The last one was a bit airy fairy tbh. He gives me his phone if he's going to bed earlier than me. He has to tell me what's going on, like if he's depressed and thinking about porn, to tell me and not make it a secret. Has written his own daily timetable for structure and alternative distraction. Basically it's now about him changing his behaviour. I don't know how it will pan out but I have to have some hope that we can come out the other side of this.