To think many women don't like their partner using porn

[itsnotnormalisit]

I don't like the thought of my DP using porn... he thinks most women don't mind and can't understand why women would have an issue with it and that IABU

Definitely no excuse for watching fowl porn.

🐓

Oopsy great typo 😂 @waterlego

Foul* obviously.

OH only watches gay porn

Interesting - he's bi?

Anyway, I'm cool with porn.

Although I do agree with this.

In all seriousness though, when watching any porn (regardless of type/theme/extremeness of acts depicted) there is no way of knowing whether participants are there by choice or whether they have been trafficked/drugged/coerced/threatened. Even if they are there by choice, perhaps they have made that ‘choice’ after a childhood blighted by sexual abuse (this is not uncommon- it can be a way for some women to feel they are ‘taking back power’. It can also happen as a result of a mind and body which has been desensitised to being used and abused).

If you can’t be sure, the easiest way to avoid participating in someone else’s misery is to simply not watch porn 🤷🏼‍♀️. Maybe read some erotic fiction instead?

Although I do agree with this.
With what?

If you can’t be sure, the easiest way to avoid participating in someone else’s misery is to not watch porn

So, do you have any devices with a Li-ion battery? Because it was just 2 years ago tech giants were sued for Congolese child deaths in cobalt mining. So to avoid participating in children mining and dying we shouldn’t buy portable devices.

Have you recycled anything electronic? Ghana’s waste dump where children and adults burn the toxic waste in their flip flops from the western world just to get enough money to eat. To avoid this misery we should not manufacture or ‘recycle’ electronic product.

Do you consume anything which contains palm oil? The deforestation occurring across the globe is eye watering. To avoid this misery we should refuse any product that contains it or any other item like almond milk.

It’s impossible to avoid all forms of misery, we just don’t hear about it, sadly.

Like a PP said, female made porn does just look different, you can usually tell. I was reading something a while back where porn hub had a clean up and a massive proportion of its videos went. Change is good. It’s happening.

@FTEngineerM, I hear what you’re saying. I don’t knowingly buy or use products that contain palm oil, no. The other issues you have mentioned were unknown to me so now that I know about those atrocities, I can try to avoid contributing to them. I appreciate you making me aware- thank you.

@UnfriendlyFriendly many of us are against porn use because of the vast amounts of women and children who are being trafficked in the porn industry in order to satiate the desire men have for pornography. It is called opposition on ethical grounds.

And that's not even scratching the surface of the extremely troubling effects porn is having on women as a class and society as a whole. I highly recommend you do some proper research into this. I can share some resources with you if you would like.

It's a good question, but I really don't know. In Ireland books with almost any sexual content were banned into to the 70s and 80s. By the 90s topless (often teens!) were prevalent in newspapers. Now everyone has access to whatever porn they want with a few taps on the phone. There is a huge societal change underway.

I'd imagine that the vast majority of people becoming adults in smartphone age will have looked at porn out of curiosity. Would that make it a more normal part of the life for people and they'd be more accepting? Or would be people be more educated and the porn industry, exploitation, etc and it would be unacceptable to watch? Probably a mixture of both, with everything in between.

My OH doesn't watch porn.
I would hate it if he did, might even leave him.

I used to think it was no big deal but as I’ve aged I find that I am far less tolerant of it . Whether this is because I feel I no longer quite ‘match up’ or just that I’m more aware of the industry behind it I couldn’t say. Maybe it’s a bit of both— what I do know is when I realised my Hs ‘might occasionally look at it’ (his words) actually was looking at it every day the minute I was out the door (my router stats which he is unaware I’ve always had enabled from when it was originally set up) my view of him was never the same. This is a feminist viewpoint type of guy, who is very to take pot shots at men who look at page 3 etc. The problem is we are creating a world where young men are often looking at women in real life and expecting a full on porn experience— my son thinks it’s 100% expected that women shave down there, think anal is 100% regular and various other things - we’ve had discussions on it. It’s not men that porn is hurting in society , it’s societal expectations of women. It’s all becoming very shallow. Hence things like onlyfans being accepted as perfectly fine— it really isn’t— as far as I’m concerned it’s digital prostitution

@Pengwyn Someone will probably be along in a minute to insist that your DH watches porn behind your back, because some people on MN are unable to understand that some men a) Do not use porn and b) Do not routinely lie to their partners 🤷🏼‍♀️

[quote waterlego]@Pengwyn Someone will probably be along in a minute to insist that your DH watches porn behind your back, because some people on MN are unable to understand that some men a) Do not use porn and b) Do not routinely lie to their partners 🤷🏼‍♀️[/quote]
Ha!
Well, he really doesn't.
He's more likely to watch obscure science documentaries on Netflix.

I like it.

@FTEngineerM

involves real actual people, some of whom are being harmed in the footage that person is getting off to. I’ve read testimonies about the frequent breaks in filming needed to clean up blood and shit, take painkillers / drugs to get through the rest of the shoot etc

The whole point is that it involves real people @Deathgrip, otherwise we could watch animé. It’s certainly incredibly sad that some feel the need to go to those lengths to make money, but not all porn requires blood, painkillers and shit, you’re making the assumption that everybody watches the ‘anal gaping’ ‘three cocks one ass hole’ ‘gangrape’ type stuff, which is obviously not true. Porn is an enormous umbrella term and not all of it is degrading or fowl.

I suggest you do some more research - women are injured doing even stuff that not extreme by your standards, purely due to the length of shoots. Some of the stories are really distressing. And yes, a significant proportion of women making porn require painkillers / drugs to get through shoots.

And clearly many people don’t think of them as actual people, based on this thread alone or the ubiquitous “I don’t mind porn but have a problem with cam girls as they’re real people” line.

@Lonel

Although I do agree with this. With what?

Definitely no excuse for watching fowl porn.

Sorry I meant that. (Sounds awful)

@Pengwyn- mine doesn’t watch porn either.
No science docs for Mr Waterlego though- usually just endless football and tennis matches. 🙄

I don’t mind, but then I also watch porn alone and with him

You need to set your own boundaries in your relationship - what you’re okay with.

If DH watched porn I would be fine with it, but he doesn’t really. I watch a lot of it and there are occasions where we’ll watch it together.

I’m sure I heard PornHub were on their high horse a few months ago claiming they are now “giving back” by donating money to plant trees in the Amazon . Something like that. I couldn’t believe it.

It reminded me of when my husband went to some kind of business charity fundraising event and escorts and strippers were suddenly brought out after dinner as part of the proceedings. Whole new level of hypocrisy.

Talk about pandering to the lowest common denominator, priya. It’s rather insulting that, by default, men are fed this idea that ‘hey, you’ve got a dick therefore you must have a thing for strippers and debasing women.’

Yes how sanctimonious can you get? To me, PornHub claiming to be this ethical company planting trees or whatever is the peak of male entitlement. Never mind about female exploitation and the insidious effect of the content we disseminate for free - no, look at us.., great guys saving the planet!

Didn’t PornHub also reach new heights of altruism during the pandemic when they offered to “help out” by making their paid-for subscription service free to all the poor locked-down men of the world?

Yes I just googled it in the press. “Porn Hub pledge to plant a tree for every 100 videos watched.”

You couldn’t make it up.

I certainly will do @Deathgrip, I’ve bookmarked this for when I have more time. Yes I saw that comment your referring to but I’d like to think that that is the minority rather than the rule.

I haven’t actually said what I find ‘ok’ or ‘extreme’ personally because I don’t think it’s relevant really but I used a few examples of some which, I’d hope at least, were quite extreme to the majority.