To think many women don't like their partner using porn

[itsnotnormalisit]

I don't like the thought of my DP using porn... he thinks most women don't mind and can't understand why women would have an issue with it and that IABU

I’ve never dated a man that didn’t watch it (I’m sure there are some since every poster on mn likes to say their DH never watches it 🤨) but only speaking about the men I’ve met

If it were causing a problem in our relationship (he was watching it instead of being with me, or he expected re-enactments, or we weren't having sex, or he became a sex-pest) then I'd mind.

Since none of those things apply though, I couldn't care.

Women don't need soap operas - would you think it's a "sheer lack of respect" for a woman to watch it if their husband doesn't like it?

So this is where we are now as a society - some people genuinely think that porn is no different to watching a soap opera.

The porn industry has really done a number on society, hasn’t it?

How many news stories about mainstream porn sites streaming child sexual abuse, sexual assault and rape do there need to be for some people to start questioning the industry?

Yes, many women object to porn on ethical grounds. Your partner may also want to think about the fact that some men do, too (unless he thinks that there are no men in the world who can prioritise their integrity over their orgasm).

Any man who can get off to what may be footage of rape or victims of trafficking is not someone I want to be in a relationship with. Been there, been abused by that.

The fact that it’s a normalised that some women genuinely believe every single man does it is staggering. Some don’t seem to realise that masturbation and porn are not inextricably linked. And watching porn is not the same as fantasising since no actual human being is being harmed in your fantasies. Even those women who are there consensually are often horribly injured, but some people value their orgasms more than the physical and mental safety of others, apparently.

Some posters may want to look up the testimonies of the retired women who’ve spoken out against the industry. It’s extremely disturbing, but some want to bury their head in the sand so they don’t spoil their own fun. Perhaps have a look at the Girls Do Porn case, too.

I’m sure by the time I’ve posted this there’ll be a few posters saying they only watch amateur porn so that’s okay, as if those women couldn’t possibly be being coerced, and as if it would be impossible to share footage without their consent. We’ve even had posts on mumsnet from women whose partners have shared covert footage of them online without their consent.

But hey, how many times can we have this discussion on MN?

I wouldn't like it either.

Great post @Deathgrip

i couldn't care less and i watch it myself

Nope don't care at all.

I'm getting a sense it's younger women saying they love porn themselves and watch it themselves and don't care if their partners do.

What a world.
How sad.

I’m 32 so wouldn’t say young and no I don’t care

@Deathgrip

Women don't need soap operas - would you think it's a "sheer lack of respect" for a woman to watch it if their husband doesn't like it?

So this is where we are now as a society - some people genuinely think that porn is no different to watching a soap opera.

The porn industry has really done a number on society, hasn’t it?

How many news stories about mainstream porn sites streaming child sexual abuse, sexual assault and rape do there need to be for some people to start questioning the industry?

Yes, many women object to porn on ethical grounds. Your partner may also want to think about the fact that some men do, too (unless he thinks that there are no men in the world who can prioritise their integrity over their orgasm).

Any man who can get off to what may be footage of rape or victims of trafficking is not someone I want to be in a relationship with. Been there, been abused by that.

The fact that it’s a normalised that some women genuinely believe every single man does it is staggering. Some don’t seem to realise that masturbation and porn are not inextricably linked. And watching porn is not the same as fantasising since no actual human being is being harmed in your fantasies. Even those women who are there consensually are often horribly injured, but some people value their orgasms more than the physical and mental safety of others, apparently.

Some posters may want to look up the testimonies of the retired women who’ve spoken out against the industry. It’s extremely disturbing, but some want to bury their head in the sand so they don’t spoil their own fun. Perhaps have a look at the Girls Do Porn case, too.

I’m sure by the time I’ve posted this there’ll be a few posters saying they only watch amateur porn so that’s okay, as if those women couldn’t possibly be being coerced, and as if it would be impossible to share footage without their consent. We’ve even had posts on mumsnet from women whose partners have shared covert footage of them online without their consent.

But hey, how many times can we have this discussion on MN?

Well said. Absolutely agree.

@UnfriendlyFriendly

I have no issue with it and (truthfully) think it's mega controlling when women do. It's quite literally not affecting you in any way at all - his body, his choice.

It's not his body that's the problem though - it's the bodies of the women being exploited in the industry. In the vast majority it is an exploitative industry that sucks in women with limited choices.

Other than that I don't mind it...

Couldn't care less as long as it didn't become an obsession or get in the way of our sex life.

I agree with what Deathgrip and others have said, and if my DH were watching it I would lose respect for him.

@Deathgrip

Women don't need soap operas - would you think it's a "sheer lack of respect" for a woman to watch it if their husband doesn't like it?

So this is where we are now as a society - some people genuinely think that porn is no different to watching a soap opera.

The porn industry has really done a number on society, hasn’t it?

How many news stories about mainstream porn sites streaming child sexual abuse, sexual assault and rape do there need to be for some people to start questioning the industry?

Yes, many women object to porn on ethical grounds. Your partner may also want to think about the fact that some men do, too (unless he thinks that there are no men in the world who can prioritise their integrity over their orgasm).

Any man who can get off to what may be footage of rape or victims of trafficking is not someone I want to be in a relationship with. Been there, been abused by that.

The fact that it’s a normalised that some women genuinely believe every single man does it is staggering. Some don’t seem to realise that masturbation and porn are not inextricably linked. And watching porn is not the same as fantasising since no actual human being is being harmed in your fantasies. Even those women who are there consensually are often horribly injured, but some people value their orgasms more than the physical and mental safety of others, apparently.

Some posters may want to look up the testimonies of the retired women who’ve spoken out against the industry. It’s extremely disturbing, but some want to bury their head in the sand so they don’t spoil their own fun. Perhaps have a look at the Girls Do Porn case, too.

I’m sure by the time I’ve posted this there’ll be a few posters saying they only watch amateur porn so that’s okay, as if those women couldn’t possibly be being coerced, and as if it would be impossible to share footage without their consent. We’ve even had posts on mumsnet from women whose partners have shared covert footage of them online without their consent.

But hey, how many times can we have this discussion on MN?

Heart breaking, isn't it? How can women be so blind to what porn is doing to objectify and abuse women and girls? To glamourise rape and violence? And they're just 'fine' with their husbands lapping this up.

I don't mind at all. I like it too so we watch it together.

I object. Its demeaning to men to assume they all watch porn. I have had partners who do but the majority don't. It seems to be a perpetual myth that women have to accept men all use porn, and its patronising to both sexes. I accept my partner may occasionally think of other women as I do other men, not on purpose but just because, that is an entirely different thing to actively seeking out naked images of someone else. That has no place in my relationship.

I won’t date a guy who watches porn. For many reasons.
If I’m single forever because of that I really won’t be upset.

It doesn't bother me if a partner watches porn, unless it affected our sex life. I watch porn sometimes.

Don't like it for all the reasons above.

It doesn't bother me.

Sometimes we watch it together for inspiration.

Doesn't bother me at all.

It doesn't bother me, I watch it too. Occasionally we watch it together.

It doesn't bother me. But everyone is different and if it bothers you then you have the right for your feelings to be respected.

I’ve noticed quite an age difference IRL when talking about porn.
The younger women I know seem so much more relaxed about it, they seem to think it’s normal and ‘everyone’ does it.
The older women are much more anti-porn

Yes I have a problem with it. Fuck that shit