Neighbours hate us because of extension.

[SummerHathCommeth]

We’ve lived in our house for 5 years. We have two sets of neighbours on one side who we get on very with well. The ones on the other side not so much. They moved to their house 6 years ago are recently retired with DC who have left home. We have 4 children and need to extend as desperately more space.

We spoke to them telling them our plans before we applied for permission and were surprised when they put in a very long objection stating it would affect light to one of their side windows at certain times of the day in winter and that we could see into their property from our skylights.

We got permission and have begun building but the tension is palpable, it’s sucked all the joy out of it. They have stopped speaking to us and are actually quite hostile shaking their heads every time they see us and the woman confronted DH telling him how underhand we’ve been. They have never been particularly friendly to us or any of the other families but this is making life very stressful.

Their (extended) house is 15 meters away from ours with two gardens, two hedges and a road in between and also at a much lower elevation. Our skylights will be 9 foot above floor level so we couldn’t see out of them even if we wanted to.

Are we being unreasonable?

You know the rules, we need a diagram!

Yanbu. Ignore them.

Here is a badly drawn diagram…

You haven't done anything illegal so just smile and wave (through gritted teeth)

Squiggles are hedges. As you can see they have a very large 360 degree garden which extends quite far to the back of their house

They're bonkers, crack on op.

You got permission.
Right now grey rock.
In a few years send them a Christmas card if you want to try and mend fences so to speak.

Ultimately this is their problem.

Ridiculous. Why would you be looking out of your skylight into their property? You’d have to stand on a chair!

Don’t worry, its definitely them, not you.

They’re being quite ridiculous. They aren’t even direct neighbours. I’d have to try really hard to get annoyed by an extension being built across the road from me.

They get an extension but you don’t by their rules?

No no no.

Sauce for goosey and all that.

Ignore and enjoy.

Just ignore them , you don’t need to get on with neighbours and you have done nothing wrong anyway .

Ignore them completely from now on. A family members neighbour objected to their planning and it ended up costing them thousands in extra rent, wasted time. They wouldn't give her a second glance now. God help her if she ever needs help in an emergency as she wouldn't get it from my relative, and rightly so. Some people just love to whinge. You were given permission so let them sod right off. They don't have a right to light and I'm sure you're not hanging out your skylights looking at them.

Really we feel like they are completely bonkers but it’s making me question the whole thing, as I’m surely no one can be that unreasonable?

Act like you dont notice their frostiness.

Well you're not unreasonable to build an extension. I think it is a bit unreasonable to expect your neighbours to be happy about noisy building work all summer which will likely ruin any peace and mean they can't sit out, it's not going to be of benefit to them in any way.
I think it's generally less antisocial to do these things in the winter months although obviously inclement weather might slow things down.

The planning process has been gone through to decide who is being reasonable..... So they can have an extension but don't want anyone else to have one?! I would just see them as unreasonable people and ignore their head shaking etc. Enjoy your extension.

You just have to ignore them, honestly. I’m an awful person who actually successfully blocked a neighbour building a house in their back garden, using our drive and drains, with a kitchen and lounge windows opening less than a metre from our downstairs bathroom.

The abuse I got was unlimited, he took every opportunity to have a pop at me verbally. I found it amusing, his plans were taking the piss and relied on using our land, your neighbours are also taking the pee if they live in an extended property! I had to walk past his garden all the way down my drive and he and his wife were vile but who cares, when you shut the front door and enjoy your lovely new space you won’t care. It might feel bigger at the moment after a horrible year and with builders work going on!

it’s sucked all the joy out of it

Building works no fun for anyone. Not least when your not going to benefit from it.

You have done nothing wrong, and their behaviour isn’t on but complaints aside it is a bit crap having building work going on nearby.

You talked to them before applying. Reasonable.

Oh yeah they are bonkers. I feel sorry for people when houses right next to them get extensions, but there is space and a hedge and doesn’t move you any closer to them. Ignore.

Anyone stupid enough to claim that skylights would mean you are overlooking them deserve to be laughed at, long and loud. Maybe rehearse some 1 liners about the discomfort of sitting on ladders all night. But ignore them, they are ludicrously daft.

Nope. Can’t say it would be much fun having building work going on near you.

Though their neighbours managed to cope when they had theirs done so….

They are being ridiculous, your extension looks completely reasonable and doesn’t encroach on their property at all!

They're being ridiculous. Smile and cheerily wave hello every time you see them and drop them a bottle of wine round a week before the work is complete, thanking for their patience in putting up with the disruption.

An extension is a pain for neighbours but it's an unavoidable part of living near other people

Why are they saying you've been underhand? Do they feel mislead?