Neighbours hate us because of extension.

[SummerHathCommeth]

We’ve lived in our house for 5 years. We have two sets of neighbours on one side who we get on very with well. The ones on the other side not so much. They moved to their house 6 years ago are recently retired with DC who have left home. We have 4 children and need to extend as desperately more space.

We spoke to them telling them our plans before we applied for permission and were surprised when they put in a very long objection stating it would affect light to one of their side windows at certain times of the day in winter and that we could see into their property from our skylights.

We got permission and have begun building but the tension is palpable, it’s sucked all the joy out of it. They have stopped speaking to us and are actually quite hostile shaking their heads every time they see us and the woman confronted DH telling him how underhand we’ve been. They have never been particularly friendly to us or any of the other families but this is making life very stressful.

Their (extended) house is 15 meters away from ours with two gardens, two hedges and a road in between and also at a much lower elevation. Our skylights will be 9 foot above floor level so we couldn’t see out of them even if we wanted to.

Are we being unreasonable?

@MistyMargaret, I’m sorry but life can’t just stop.

We’ve had threads after threads telling us how amazing wfh is, how much money people have been saving etc...
The other side of the coin is having to cope with NDN doing some DIY, children playing in the garden all day, adults having friends around.
You can’t have it all and expect NDN to change their life to suit you because not only it’s not ok to make noise in the evening early morning at weekends but it would now also be not ok to make noise during ‘working hours’

If you wanted more space you should’ve brought a bigger house
I hate this argument. It comes up on almost every thread about someone renovating their home. Why should someone buy a new house and uproot their family rather than improve a house they like just because they might have NIMBY neighbours who want to be rude from their own extended house?

Too many people on here seem to be amusingly intolerant of anyone improving their home in true NIMBY style. Want a bigger house? Go buy a bigger one (even though that means someone else has already done the same work). Want to renovate your bathroom/kitchen? How disruptive, you should have bought a property with a better bathroom/kitchen (ignoring the fact that the houses with modern bathrooms/kitchens will have also had work done to them). Want to do some DIY? Don't even think about it unless it's between 11.30am and 2pm on a Saturday and if the sun is in the sky all work has to stop just in case someone wants to read a book.
We all know the same people posting those sorts of replies would be the first to be moaning that a poorly maintained property on their street is ruining the kerb appeal of their naice area.

[quote DreamingNow]@MistyMargaret, I’m sorry but life can’t just stop.

We’ve had threads after threads telling us how amazing wfh is, how much money people have been saving etc...
The other side of the coin is having to cope with NDN doing some DIY, children playing in the garden all day, adults having friends around.
You can’t have it all and expect NDN to change their life to suit you because not only it’s not ok to make noise in the evening early morning at weekends but it would now also be not ok to make noise during ‘working hours’[/quote]
Wow. I don’t know about others wfh, but I’m certainly not “having it all”. I have hated working from home. I’ve just been trying not to catch something that could kill me, what with having a severely compromised immune system following cancer treatment and some other health complications. Now my mental health is as fucked as my physical health and there’s a good chance the vaccines haven’t given me a very effective immune response, so I don’t know when this shit will end.

But none of this is OP’s fault and - as I’ve already said pages back - I wouldn’t be rude to her if I were her neighbour.

Why are you allowing this to get to you? They weren't friendly before, you've applied and got permission to build legally and they objected and were rebuffed legally. End of story - at ease.

If you wanted more space you should’ve brought a bigger house

Might as well say, if you wanted no building works near you, live where there are no neighbours'.

It's unfortunate that they are unhappy but you have every right to extend your house. Ignore their bad attitudes and enjoy your bigger space.

In urban settings it is a rare house that doesn't eventually get a renovation job done.

We just have to accept it.

I have found builders to be very respectful.

At least you discussed your plans with your NDN. Mine are vile. They have twice sent workmen onto my property without obtaining prior permission. They also did noisy outside work without warning or consulting me. At one point i had men in my garden operating an industrial grinder til I threatened them with the police.

Well you're not unreasonable to build an extension. I think it is a bit unreasonable to expect your neighbours to be happy about noisy building work all summer which will likely ruin any peace and mean they can't sit out, it's not going to be of benefit to them in any way.
I think it's generally less antisocial to do these things in the winter months although obviously inclement weather might slow things down.

*The dirt, noise, spoilt summer days, bad language, builder trucks coming and going... you’ve shown them no consideration at all. Plus they get to look at a hideous brick wall instead of blue sky....

If you wanted more space you should’ve brought a bigger house.*

You've done nothing wrong, enjoy your new extension! Also make sure the builders have their radio on at top volume!

@SummerHathCommeth

They are being stupid ignore them.
Their objections were nonsense hence you got permission.

If they confront you again you can say sorry it’s happening no shall we get on with life?

When you went in for planning, did the Local authority ask for a Daylight/ Sunlight report to be completed ? These are done to show how your development will effect your neighbors daylight . Most authorities do have this in thier plannings conditions

Of course YANBU.

You got planning permission, even though they sent in their objections which were considered, so what you are doing is absolutely fine.

It sounds like your neighbours are quite hypocritical, having had their own extension but being annoyed about yours. And actually quite rude - you are a large family and need the space.

Have you spoken to them directly about their issues? It might be that once you have a direct conversation, maybe invite them round for a coffee/ cake, and if they can actually get to know you and your family, they may soften a bit. It depends how much you want to repair the relationship really, although they sound like quite unpleasant people so in your shoes I don't know if I'd bother!

Sorry you have to live next to such grumpy people!

They're not neighbours - they live over the road. Enjoy your legal extension and be glad they're not family.

Other people's building works are never fun, especially if the neighbours are at home in the daytime. It wasn't unreasonable of them to try to stop you. Now permission has been granted they would ideally suck it up, but I can see how the noise might be getting to them.

Maybe you can find it in your heart to ignore their coldness and try to stay on friendly terms. My neighbours wanted to conduct a feud with me and I remained relentlessly cheerful until they gave up and became civil again. But certainly you have no obligation to do likewise. If you find their behaviour too hurtful then perhaps it's better to keep your distance.

They didn't want it. You do. They laid out their objections, apparently you got permission to build without making any adjustments.

In your head you're perfectly right and they must suck it up and be happy.

You may be right, they may be right but they don't have to be happy about it at all. Presumably you knew how big your house needed to be?why didn't you just move?

@Pugdogmom

Not an extension, but neighbours of ours got building work done during Lockdown. I was wfh and noise was incredible, especially if I had to phone clients. Went on at weekends so couldn't enjoy sunny days in our garden. I gritted my teeth throughout, but it was annoying

Didn't fall out with them though.Actually they are anti social barstewards anyway, now I think on it.

There are permitted hours for building work to be done and reputable builders adhere to those. Outside of those hours you can complain about noisy work. I think that includes Sundays and maybe part of Saturday.

They are unreasonable. If you lived in terraces or semi's it might be an issue.

You may be right, they may be right but they don't have to be happy about it at all. Presumably you knew how big your house needed to be?why didn't you just move?

yeah just move to somewhere bigger! Just like that, easy!

Presumably when the OP knew when she bought the property what extension potential it had.

I don't get all the handwringing about the neighbours not being all smiley and happy about an extension they don't want.

Since the planning permission has been given they just have to suck it up, but they definitely don't have to be happy about it. And if they are proved right (and pp on this thread have shown that this does happen and light does get cut out) they will still have to suck it up. I wouldn't be happy about that either.

If i were OP i'd just get on with it and accept that when you do things other people don't like, they often don't carry on the charade that they are happy and your best friends. It's just life.

I mean extensions can be annoying but since there's so much land anyway I really can't see yours having a huge affect. In any case they can hardly expect you to consider a very small amount of light in one of their windows to be more important than having space for your family. They sound bonkers. If it wasn't this it would be something else, just be glad you don't have to speak to them and get on with your life.

Jealousy is a very destructive emotion.

Its not your problem.

Before your splendid diagram I assumed that you were in a terrace!

Building works are always annoying (especially if you are stuck at home listening to builders' choice of radio station).

It sounds as if your neighbours needed something to criticise in their lives and unfortunately it is you and your 4 kids and now the building work.

I don't get all the handwringing about the neighbours not being all smiley and happy about an extension they don't want
They don't have to be smiley and happy, but being rude whilst living in an extended house is really unpleasant NIMBY behaviour.