Neighbours hate us because of extension.

[SummerHathCommeth]

We’ve lived in our house for 5 years. We have two sets of neighbours on one side who we get on very with well. The ones on the other side not so much. They moved to their house 6 years ago are recently retired with DC who have left home. We have 4 children and need to extend as desperately more space.

We spoke to them telling them our plans before we applied for permission and were surprised when they put in a very long objection stating it would affect light to one of their side windows at certain times of the day in winter and that we could see into their property from our skylights.

We got permission and have begun building but the tension is palpable, it’s sucked all the joy out of it. They have stopped speaking to us and are actually quite hostile shaking their heads every time they see us and the woman confronted DH telling him how underhand we’ve been. They have never been particularly friendly to us or any of the other families but this is making life very stressful.

Their (extended) house is 15 meters away from ours with two gardens, two hedges and a road in between and also at a much lower elevation. Our skylights will be 9 foot above floor level so we couldn’t see out of them even if we wanted to.

Are we being unreasonable?

They’re being totally unreasonable.

If there was any merit in their objection, you would not have been granted planning permission.

DH works in architecture and some of the objections he has seen to planning applications are absurd. He calls them ‘NIMBYs’ (not in my back yard)

Incidentally, the neighbours across from us are having a major extension completed on their property. DH did the planning application drawings for them and helped them obtain quotes from builders. Almost the entire street are incensed about it... none so more than a family who live opposite them and about 5 doors down. God knows why.
We think it’s jealousy as there was a rumour going around the street that the building work is costing them in excess of £100k and this is the main part people are focusing on for some reason
(Not actually a rumour, we know how much they’re paying. Good luck to them I say)

I think they are being unreasonable TBH. An Englishmans home is his Castle so they say .In this instance I think they were probably happy being the "one with an extension" and enjoying the fact their house was "better" .Now they have been usurped! Its pointless trying to reason with this sort of mindset . They are what they are .As you have never been good friends with them ,just concentrate on the 2 neighbours you have who are OK.Its just life sadly .Some people are idiots!

@SummerHathCommeth

They are across the road. What do you think their real problem is?

If it was genuinely impacting them (like if they were next door and it was blocking their light) I'd definitely do my best to use a design &/or materials that would minimise the impact on them, but across the road?!

@osbertthesyrianhamster - does your friend with the builders playing loud music over their pneumatic drills live in London? We have this at the moment non-stop drilling from 8am to 5.30pm and after more than 6 weeks of it it is becoming utterly soul destroying.

The drilling we accept as the work is necessary but the selfish behaviour of the builders is a nightmare. Needless to say the owner is not here. Everyone else is struggling to work as we can't hear ourselves think.

[quote Londonmummy66]@osbertthesyrianhamster - does your friend with the builders playing loud music over their pneumatic drills live in London? We have this at the moment non-stop drilling from 8am to 5.30pm and after more than 6 weeks of it it is becoming utterly soul destroying.

The drilling we accept as the work is necessary but the selfish behaviour of the builders is a nightmare. Needless to say the owner is not here. Everyone else is struggling to work as we can't hear ourselves think.[/quote]
Yes, it's driving them and others crazy and the builders are being utter twats about it. I think they should see if they can sue the homeowner (who's not there) - in other countries you can do this because otherwise the bastards doing this just don't give a shit. Seems very common, too. Our landlord had a builder in the flat downstairs his music was wall shaking. After I asked him to turn it down he slammed the door my face and turned it up. My husband went down and the man moved to punch him. I had my phone recording it and we called the police.

They do have the council involved, though.

You've applied and it's been granted, enjoy the space when it's built. Some people seem to like to find fault, whatever you do.

We had an eyesore of a swimming pool building in our garden, we bought the house planning to convert it into a granny annexe. As the foot print and dimensions weren't changing (we replaced the corrugated iron roof with a grey roof, and the rotting timber cladding with a neutral/grey cladding) the council told us we didn't need planning, but we applied anyway as although the pool had been there for about 20 years it didn't have planning permission in the first place - we wanted to make it all above board and future proof.

Anyway, application goes in and one of the neighbours called as she was concerned - she is the other side of our fence. I reassured her that it was being done with the long term aim of my mum moving in one day in the future but for now we would just use as a spare room when friends stay. She asked about rentals and I said that I had no intention of that as I don't want strangers in my garden, and also pointed out that we have children so again we didn't want random people wandering in and out. I thought we had a nice conversation and wished her well. Lo and behold she lodges an objection on the basis of noise! Council let us go ahead without issue but I have no idea why she thought an elderly single relative would be a noise issue, or even friends staying over - perhaps I should have reinstated the pool so she could have some children and teenagers shrieking all year round!

We had also asked if the builders could arrange a time convenient to her to park outside hers to unload the materials over the fence for an hour. She said she needed constant access which was fine, for all we know she may have medical needs/care for someone she needs to get to/whatever. So we had them unload the pallets on the drive and we walked the cladding/plasterboard/other materials through the house. Only found out recently she'd been telling the neighbours we'd asked to park loads of lorries outside her house throughout the build!

Tell them to get over themselves. They will not be overly affected and anyway how come it’s ok for them to extend and not you?!!!

Quite frankly your neighbours cannot envisage the extent of the extension you are having built and the effect it may or may not have on them. I feel sure that once it is built they will see it does not cause them issue and calm down. Building noise is always unfortunate in the summer months but if the builders do not play loud music then they will be limiting the distress caused to neighbours. I hope all goes well for you and that good relations are the outcome.

You have permission....but....personally I wouldn't have put 3 skylights all on one elevation facing their property..........

I can't believe a few people think your being unreasonable! It doesn't matter whether the neighbours like it or not you have planning permission.

They had the opportunity to object. They did object. The council found for you.

Put them out of your head and let them get on with it. You have done everything legally. They are just entitled moaners.

Granted they won't like the noise from the building work. Unless you go and live in the middle of nowhere you will get noise from time to time wherever you live.

@ivfgottwins

You have permission....but....personally I wouldn't have put 3 skylights all on one elevation facing their property..........

What possible difference does it make? If you wanted to watch them getting undressed through your skylight telescope then one is quite enough (I assume)! I don't see why two more would matter.

Where we lived they were all smallish semi detached houses, open plan gardens lots of greenery and trees.

As the neighbors started dying off, in came the builders, tarmac drives, walls, over garage extensions, lost of trees and greenery, gates started appearing -

The street didn’t have the same neighborly feeling, it’s lost its soul because people wanted to make money.

The dust dirt and noise on the rare summer days was utterly miserable.

I paid good money to live in a green street, we sold up and moved.

Street we live on has lots of elderly neighbors who all take pride in their properties, and gardens, it’s quiet and peaceful.

As soon as the builders start moving in, and they will, we’ll sell up again and move.

Some people will just complain about anything . We had a side extension and the neighbours complained about a side window looking into their property. It was single story and we would have had to climb on a ladder inside our house just to look out of the window .it was just for light . They also could not see into our house .

In the end we changed the design of the roof and put rooflights in which cost more money

They also accused us of trying to hide the planning application ,not true , trespassed on our property to check measurements , and asked us why we needed to make the house so big like a “ castle” the extension was actually on the same print of an ugly old garage .

They were younger than us with a family . It was all very strange .

They need to move to a little island with no neighbours.

@SummerHathCommeth - sorry, haven't RTFT, but neighbourly disagreements like this are one of the reasons my DH no longer does domestic building work. In 12 years, virtually every extension he worked on, the neighbours had issues. Sometimes it was to do with the building work itself, sometimes due to previous disagreements that they were still sweating over. It really got quite unpleasant at times when my DH only wanted to go to work, do a good job for his client and come home. YANBU but just don't expect them to be happy about it.

We had a similar issue when we built an extension. Our nasty neighbours haven’t spoken to us for 16 years! Early on I tried to build bridges but they said we’d ruined their lives ( it was a bedroom extension on top of a garage in a detached house 14 feet from their house and not overlooking them ) we ignore each other now and that suits us. All our other neighbours are lovely and we have a yearly street party which is amazing - nasty neighbours always go away for that day 😂 Crack on and live your life

@SummerHathCommeth

Really we feel like they are completely bonkers but it’s making me question the whole thing, as I’m surely no one can be that unreasonable?

Oh I'm sure there are worse out there who would vandalise your property etc! I cannot believe there is a road between the two houses and they still have an issue. Utter madness. You win they didn't, that's the problem.

They are being daft!! We have had very similar. We moved in 5 years ago 4 children and last year through lockdown we finally got the builders in and did our loft and extension on the back. Our neighbours adjoined to us could not have been nicer the noise sounded like the builders were in their house sometimes but they haven't complained once. They are just the best. The other side were lovely until the work started. Complained we were spoiling their view (of our garden!!!) Noise dust vans everything and they always aimed it at me, never my husband, never the builders all of whom said to them on numerous occasions if they have a problem speak to them there is nothing lost can do about it ( vans etc)
Anyway we had a few drinks for my husbands birthday, things were a bit loud they were threatening us with the police and all sorts we told them do what they like and shut the door in their face.
It's blown over now. But the builders will be back in a few weeks to start the garden and garage so I expect it will kick off again. I couldn't care less, their cat comes in our garden every day to poo. They are so wrapped up in their own world as long as they are OK. They had a go at my husband for stripping the wallpaper because the previous owner an elderly lady had paid alot of money for it and couldn't understand why we needed new carpet the old ones were in mint condition🙄
People just get jealous!

You advised them you were putting in planning, they objected and lost. It may be that once the build is finished, they realise they were being silly so to allow them to save face and for continuing neighbourly relations, I would just smile and say hello whenever you see them, as you would normally. Be the bigger person and hope they realise it sooner rather than later. You both still have to live beside each other for however long you stay there!

Just ignore. They'll get over it. Enjoy decorating!

ilikebungalows

You have just unwittingly become my Heroine of the Year. I had never in my life heard of such a thing as sun tunnels before reading your post, and I live in a tiny mid 19th century Croft house with windows so tiny (to keep in the heat apparently) that it'd be a stretch for 2 mice to pass through them. I have to have lights on 365 days a year, all day. It can become very depressing - I'm about to start saving this very day to buy a light tunnel at least for the living room! Thank you!!!!

Totally ignore them, they are being extremely unreasonable. Next time your paths cross, dont make any eye contact, look right through them, they will soon get the message. In the grand scheme of things do you really care if they talk you or not?

We had the exact same thing with our neighbours when we built an extension, they actually took to shouting abuse at us out of their windows and tried to scare off the builders etc.

It's been finished for two years now and they seem to be getting over it but it was awful for a while