Neighbours hate us because of extension.

[SummerHathCommeth]

We’ve lived in our house for 5 years. We have two sets of neighbours on one side who we get on very with well. The ones on the other side not so much. They moved to their house 6 years ago are recently retired with DC who have left home. We have 4 children and need to extend as desperately more space.

We spoke to them telling them our plans before we applied for permission and were surprised when they put in a very long objection stating it would affect light to one of their side windows at certain times of the day in winter and that we could see into their property from our skylights.

We got permission and have begun building but the tension is palpable, it’s sucked all the joy out of it. They have stopped speaking to us and are actually quite hostile shaking their heads every time they see us and the woman confronted DH telling him how underhand we’ve been. They have never been particularly friendly to us or any of the other families but this is making life very stressful.

Their (extended) house is 15 meters away from ours with two gardens, two hedges and a road in between and also at a much lower elevation. Our skylights will be 9 foot above floor level so we couldn’t see out of them even if we wanted to.

Are we being unreasonable?

Why are you even letting this bother you?

There's no need for you to talk to your neighbours.

Just enjoy building the extension

You’re entitled by law to get the extension, but if it affects them negatively YABU to expect them not to resent you for it. Why wouldn’t they?

@Bluedeblue either we live near each other or someone has managed to do this in two places. Every time we walk past we marvel at the sheer nerve and how you’d be raging to lose your particularly special and world-renowned view!

They weren't friendly before the extension so it's no loss.

My neighbours did this and I hate them for it. Even on a sunny day I have to put the light on in the kitchen to see as their extension blocks the light. They think they did nothing wrong. I think they should have moved if they wanted more space.

A close buddy of mine had this problem. Her neighbour was an absolute pain. 7 years on she remains a pain. You’ll get used to it. Just ignore them, there’s no friendship to be had here

@Winkywonkydonkey

They used to live in your house and know you'll discover the bodies when you start digging the foundations

nailed it! :)

Yep, grey rock and ignore! Once it’s built etc and they’ve got used to it they’ll cool off, and if they don’t it really doesn’t matter - you’ve done nothing wrong!!

I'd make my first purchase two step ladders and I'd spent the first day it's finished standing on them looking out of the skylight.

They are being completely unreasonable. You are not connected and there are two hedges in between. Is that also a drive between the two hedges? Your new windows are at such a height to provide light and not to look through. Even if they were, they could put in a variety of screening measures for privacy.

You don't affect them at all. They are choosing to resent your extension. They sound horrible. Do not take their energy on board into your life. They only own their own property, which I see they have extended with windows at eye level. Maybe say that you don't know how they got permission to do that and they should put them high like yours so as not to encroach on your privacy.

I hope your build goes through as smoothly as possible. I hope you and your family get many years of good times and joy in your extended home.

It isn't you, it isn't the extension, some people are just a bit odd.

I heard of one person who built a new house in place of an old (ordinary, not listed or anything) house and someone cried every time they walked past it because it upset them so much!

They are choosing to resent your extension

Yes, well put.

behave as if they dont exist, it wont be any loss to you!

Some people are just c*nts. Sorry but they are. They are toxic and utterly unapologetic about it.
We handed our plans to an ex neighbour, he had a week to check them out with the proviso that, if he wasn't happy, we wouldn't apply.
He told us he was fine with it, ( we were also a good 15 m away from his place), we applied and on the very last day of consultation him and a few neighbours from up the row, lodged a complaint n the planning application.

Stick to your guns and ignore your nightmare neighbours, they are just obnoxious.

Smile and wave. They'll probably get over themselves in time but if they don't it's not your problem.

We had neighbours object because a similar scheme for their house had been turned down ( they are opposite in a corner and much closer to the road ) the reception was frosty when ours was granted and they had faces like slapped arses whilst it was being built. I have just smiled and waved relations are now back to almost cordial 🤣

@Warpedfrailty

My neighbours did this and I hate them for it. Even on a sunny day I have to put the light on in the kitchen to see as their extension blocks the light. They think they did nothing wrong. I think they should have moved if they wanted more space.

If you have a one-story house, have some skylights installed. I have two 30 inch ones in my kitchen and the natural light is plentiful.

How close is your neighbor's extension if it actually casts a shadow on your kitchen?

If you have a one-story house, have some skylights installed. I have two 30 inch ones in my kitchen and the natural light is plentiful.

Not possible

How close is your neighbor's extension if it actually casts a shadow on your kitchen?

They are next door and have built up so high most natural light can't come in. It is all legal unfortunately.

Sadly most people are nimbys at heart, however much they might deny it ... When we had a loft extension, neighbours the other side of a railway line objected to our having a Juliet balcony which wasn't going to face their house, but look over our garden. The objection might have been overruled, but we didn't want to wait the year we were told it would take to grind through the system... so we dropped the balcony idea.

A couple of years later, the same neighbours had a loft extension, with a balcony facing us. We didn't object, as I reckon the planning system is robust enough to deal with bonkers stuff, and in a city there has to be give and take. But we were entertained by the hypocrisy.

I had a relative who sat on the local council planning committee years ago. The tales he told of planning objections ...!

Put this on your fence

@EvilPea

it’s sucked all the joy out of it

Building works no fun for anyone. Not least when your not going to benefit from it.

You have done nothing wrong, and their behaviour isn’t on but complaints aside it is a bit crap having building work going on nearby.

Presumably their extension required, you know, noisy building work??

Thanks for all the replies, seems to be quite a common theme for many!

We have built up to roof height and it doesn’t cast a shadow at any point in the day. They were worried that it may do at certain times of the day during winter but I don’t think it will do that either. We honestly wouldn’t have done it if it was going to cause a massive impact.

I honestly think people who have noisy and not strictly necessary building work done during the pandemic are slightly unreasonable. With people working from home and essentially trapped with someone else's noise it can be hell on earth. If you need to get a leaking roof mended or similar, that's a different matter. It's necessary. But with the best will in the world, your extension could wait, couldn't it? (Yes I have been shielding, stuck at home, and my neighbours are noisy cunts who build for fun.)

(I wouldn't hate you, object, be rude, or give you the stink eye, though.)

We did the noisy part of digging foundations in February and March so there hasn’t been too much noise I hope