Neighbours hate us because of extension.

[SummerHathCommeth]

We’ve lived in our house for 5 years. We have two sets of neighbours on one side who we get on very with well. The ones on the other side not so much. They moved to their house 6 years ago are recently retired with DC who have left home. We have 4 children and need to extend as desperately more space.

We spoke to them telling them our plans before we applied for permission and were surprised when they put in a very long objection stating it would affect light to one of their side windows at certain times of the day in winter and that we could see into their property from our skylights.

We got permission and have begun building but the tension is palpable, it’s sucked all the joy out of it. They have stopped speaking to us and are actually quite hostile shaking their heads every time they see us and the woman confronted DH telling him how underhand we’ve been. They have never been particularly friendly to us or any of the other families but this is making life very stressful.

Their (extended) house is 15 meters away from ours with two gardens, two hedges and a road in between and also at a much lower elevation. Our skylights will be 9 foot above floor level so we couldn’t see out of them even if we wanted to.

Are we being unreasonable?

So there's a massive gap with a frigging driveway between you and 2 hedges and their house is extended but your not allowed to extend yours????

FML that's batshit on their part;if your extension was going to border their property then I'd might understand they'd be worried about the extension.

We live next door to a joyless retired couple who moan about us merely existing in our house and watch our every move.I can sympathise about your PIA neighbours.

Agree with Clymene- smile and wave 😊. Their problem, not yours. Enjoy your extension and please ignore their pettiness.

Not underhand, not illegal, all going ahead with appropriate planning permission - but of course they know this. Stand your ground and be strong. We had this at our last house. We were very good friends with our neighbours of quite a few years but despite us being upfront and going through our extension plans in detail before applying for planning permission, they put in a detailed objection and basically did everything they could to derail our plans. We modified the plans a bit but things spiralled out of all proportion with rows and insults being thrown at the front doors. It ended with what my husband called the ‘fuck you fence’ being erected at the front of the house in between our two drives - the paths were narrow and when we got out of our respective cars, the doors opened onto each others’ paths. We arrived home one day to find next door digging up part of their garden to extend the path to accommodate the car, and erecting a fence in between us so we had to park on the grass to get the car door open - a couple of weeks later we took part of our grass away to accommodate our own car. From there it just got worse - among other nasty tricks they spread lies about us to other neighbours in the close, and we eventually moved. IMO it’s basically keeping up with the Jones’s type jealousy. Be the bigger person and rise above it if you can. Good luck.

We are going through the same thing, no adjoining neighbours but one of them is complaining about everything when they can't even see the building! Some people just hate change, I have realised there is no point trying as these people will never be happy!

You can't generalise, in your situation with a 15 metre gap any disruption is minimal. But if it's a terrace house in a city where people are digging down and/or up with party walls it's a bit different as it's far more intrusive

It's their problem! You did everything by the book and above board even telling them what was happening! They have an extension too so why shouldn't you? Perhaps they're swingers and worried what you might see when you peer through the skylights!!!

Your extension looks perfectly reasonable. Ignore them.
My neighbours started work on the house next door before moving in and never bothered introducing themselves to any neighbours. It was 18 months of sheer hell- dodgy builders, scaffold poles and boards dropped into the access pathways between our houses which smashed my fence and meter boxes, tiles raining down on us, work stopped because he had a legal dispute with his shite builder, fibre glass all over our garden, drilling morning noon and night and the final straw for me, the pile of thirty odd pallets outside in the front garden in temperatures over 100 degrees. A passing fire truck stopped and firemen spoke to DH and I about what a hazard it was.
Fucker next door ignored all pleas for information and help. Absolute arsehole.
Called in planning - he had built too high and too big but our council is bankrupt and our planning department corrupt so the fucker was given retrospective planning.
I now have the pleasure of standing next to this arsehole when we do pick up at the local primary.
He singlehandedly sucked the joy out of our lovely home.
When we sell, we will sell to developers and doubtless get permission for a block of flats on our large site. I take some nasty satisfaction in the fact it will destroy his pleasure in his home.

@Galdos

Sadly most people are nimbys at heart, however much they might deny it ... When we had a loft extension, neighbours the other side of a railway line objected to our having a Juliet balcony which wasn't going to face their house, but look over our garden. The objection might have been overruled, but we didn't want to wait the year we were told it would take to grind through the system... so we dropped the balcony idea.

A couple of years later, the same neighbours had a loft extension, with a balcony facing us. We didn't object, as I reckon the planning system is robust enough to deal with bonkers stuff, and in a city there has to be give and take. But we were entertained by the hypocrisy.

I had a relative who sat on the local council planning committee years ago. The tales he told of planning objections ...!

Isn't a juliet balcony just a fence halfway across a window that opens? I don't see why people get them... Strange you'd need planning permission to weld some metal onto your house!

It’s nowhere near them! Ignore them OP, enjoy your extension.

They sound uptight. Neighbours’ extensions are a nightmare, the building work, noise, parking chaos etc, but like other readers said, you are doing it legally and they already have their own extension!
People do get funny about ‘change’, I’m guilty of it. We didn’t contest our neighbours huge kitchen extension, but regret that now it’s built. They are uphill from us and we can see everything in their kitchen from shin height. They are constantly in there, and we feel very overlooked when we sit at the table etc. But skylights, across a road ... with hedges inbetween, that’s not as bad!!

@osbertthesyrianhamster - if it is Georgian street then send him my sincere condolences from the other side of the building works! Regardless he has my sympathy as it is the most awful and draining experience to have to sit through 9 hours of solid drilling every day.

YABU to expect them to be happy about it. You got what you wanted. They didn't. They also think you were underhand about it for reasons which are not clear.

It doesn't really matter what their reasons are - you're not likely to suddenly change their resentment of your extension so just ignore them and don't expect them to be friendly.

@numberoneson

ilikebungalows

You have just unwittingly become my Heroine of the Year. I had never in my life heard of such a thing as sun tunnels before reading your post, and I live in a tiny mid 19th century Croft house with windows so tiny (to keep in the heat apparently) that it'd be a stretch for 2 mice to pass through them. I have to have lights on 365 days a year, all day. It can become very depressing - I'm about to start saving this very day to buy a light tunnel at least for the living room! Thank you!!!!

Thank you! That's one of the nicest things anyone has said to me in a long time.

Loss of light is a valid planning objection and is worked out according to physical principles. If the planning officer who approved your applications calculated that they would indeed lose light then your application would have been turned down. Same with overlooking. If you got permission then an independent authority deemed there to be no overlooking or loss of light issue. You are in the right, and they will hopefully chill out when they see the results.

Jealous of you. Sod them. If you've done everything legal you don't need to explain to anyone. When covid allows & extension done. Have a lovely garden party to piss their jealous small minds off lol 😆yet INVITE them..be the bigger person. They won't come but you obviously would love them too. Don't mention cos it's to smooth things over etc...just ask them. Face to face " We're having a party, we'd love you to come". Nothing more. Enjoy your party, extension and the curtain twitching they'll be doing. Saddos. Why are ppl so nasty ?. 😕...enjoy babes 👍😆😆👍👍

Why are there so many miserable buggers around?? You consulted them, and have done nothing wrong. Sod them!

I want a diagram of you standing on various pieces of furniture in order to see through skylights....... please!

Enjoy your extension, ignore the hypocritical nimbys.

I wouldn't be civil either I'd ignore them from here on out.

so now your house will be (almost) as big as theirs? Perhaps you shoudld say that their extension bloks your light so you're trying to even things up

We had this when we extended, despite us doing all we could to keep the peace. They refused to let us have their cars, drive, windows cleaned after a windy day .
Six years on, they still ignore us. One of my daughters arrived in snow, carrying her new born baby out of the car in his seat. She smiled and said hello, Mrs next door gave her an unfriendly look, turned and went into her house. She does this with anyone who visits us. They turn
away if we meet in the local shop.

It’s horrible. I’ve given up trying to change this. Their adult children are friendly towards us.
OP don’t let it get you down.

We have not one but two disgruntled neighbours when we built our shed/annex , which they have and we did not. They still don’t talk to us properly and they have called the council on us on more than two occasions. It’s been 10 years now .. they did not even open the door when we gave xmas chocolates. We have neighbours from hell. I think it’s my husband’s karma 🙄

You are being perfectly reasonable, dont worry.
However you could mention to them that the issue of 'being overlooked' by your skylights will be well and truly resolved when the new leylandii hedge you are considering planting between the two properties is fully grown! 😁

I'd say ignore too, Our neighbour wanted to dictate where we should put our shed, which hedge we should cut, which tree even. Best ignore. I don't give a fudge about him, but husband likes to be chatty to keep him on our side, They are being petty, rise above them, enjoy yr extension.