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Original poster

Any SAHMs / SAHWs out there with husband’s who have decided they are now “working from home?”

164 replies

samaya · 04/06/2021 15:35

Hi, just wondering if anyone else is in this position and how it is it all panning out for you if so?

Personally, I am finding it quite hard work if the truth be known.

OP posts:
Lemmeout · 04/06/2021 15:39

I would hate it. If my dh declared he was working from home I’d change jobs, not to be unkind but it would drive me up the wall. He’s great and all that but I do not want to live and breathe the same person every day,

CarlottaValdez · 04/06/2021 15:41

My DH is a SAHD and I sense I’m getting under his feet a bit now I wfh. I make lunch though which he likes!

isitjustlockdown · 04/06/2021 15:41

What is proving hard?

We are in the opposite boat, my husband is current; ly at home full time (looking not very hard for a new job), and I am still working from home. We were put on full-time WFH right at the start of March 2020, and won't be back until Sept at the earliest, and then hybrid working with only 1/2 days in the office a week max.

I don't think it is proving a particular issue for my husband, or at least he hasn't said.

I am finding it hard on the other hand.

BelleClapper · 04/06/2021 15:41

I’ve just done five months of furlough with DH wfh and honey, I feel ya.

I love the very bones of him but omg.

RefuseTheLies · 04/06/2021 15:41

It hasn't really bothered me. In fact, have found it quite useful as I can hand the kids over for an hour and sneak off for a cheeky nap in the afternoon.

LaLaLandIsNoFun · 04/06/2021 15:45

Yup. Driving me crazy.

OH is in civil service and everything is highly confidential. Downstairs is completely open plan, including stairs and hallway and we have two bedrooms with no room for any kind of office space. For a year now I’ve basically been living in the bedroom and unable to get on with much. School at home was awful enough without the added issues of no separate downstairs room and no office yup space upstairs. I feel like an uninvited guest in my own home. It has all but broken our relationship. And no end in sight.

elp30 · 04/06/2021 15:45

My husband has been working from home for the past 11 years. Ive been a SAHM and a small business owner working from home in that time.

There are no commuting costs, he was in the house when our kids came home from school and if I had to be out of the house and one of our kids got ill, he could keep an eye on them.

We literally spend 24/7 together and I don't mind it all. In fact, I truly enjoy it.

Ginuwine · 04/06/2021 15:47

@samaya

Hi, just wondering if anyone else is in this position and how it is it all panning out for you if so?

Personally, I am finding it quite hard work if the truth be known.

Does he have the option to go back to the office, or has his organisation moved to hybrid forms of work?

BabyBunnyMama · 04/06/2021 15:47

My DH WFH 5 days a week and I WFH 3 days a week and am home with DD the rest of the time. He works in the office upstairs and I work in the living room as DD is at nursery or with my mum on the days I work and we haven't found it that bad.

As he is upstairs out of the way on the days I am home with DD it's like he's at work anyway, he just comes down for lunch or the odd coffee or I'll bring him one up but other than that he's not in the way at all.

To be honest I done the first 11 months WFH on my own and found it quite isolating so actually prefer him being in the house on my days I am working and sometimes we schedule our lunches at the same time.

Original poster
samaya · 04/06/2021 15:50

Hmmm. Well, my DH is basically a workaholic, but lockdown was really good for him as it meant he couldn’t get on planes and be here there and everywhere. He was forced to calm down. He also sold his main company before lockdown, so now only takes on projects he wants to do. When he announced he was getting out of the rental contract on his offices and he’d be working from home, I was pleased because I thought he’d be taking a step back. He is 50. Over lockdown he has gone absolutely mental with fitness training and body conditioning to an extent that is slightly concerning, but that’s another thread. But mainly now he’s working from home, I feel like my “me time” is being eroded, if that makes sense. He’s always “busy busy busy” and this is the vibe, so I feel like I have to be too. I’ve never done so much housework! Plus I now have to make his lunch and eat with him (never particularly ate lunch in the week) and have the distinct sense I am morphing into a quasi-PA role. Help!

OP posts:
VoyageInTheDark · 04/06/2021 15:51

DH has been working from home since first lockdown and it means we get to have lunch together and he doesn't have to commute so can spend more time with DD after work. I guess we're lucky he can work in the spare room so not under my feet

Winkywonkydonkey · 04/06/2021 15:52

@LaLaLandIsNoFun

Yup. Driving me crazy.

OH is in civil service and everything is highly confidential. Downstairs is completely open plan, including stairs and hallway and we have two bedrooms with no room for any kind of office space. For a year now I’ve basically been living in the bedroom and unable to get on with much. School at home was awful enough without the added issues of no separate downstairs room and no office yup space upstairs. I feel like an uninvited guest in my own home. It has all but broken our relationship. And no end in sight.

Why doesn't he go in the bedroom? Portion off a corner. My DH is SCS and works with confidential projects. We manage to both work at home and have DC around part of the week
hellomeluvly · 04/06/2021 15:53

@LaLaLandIsNoFun

Yup. Driving me crazy.

OH is in civil service and everything is highly confidential. Downstairs is completely open plan, including stairs and hallway and we have two bedrooms with no room for any kind of office space. For a year now I’ve basically been living in the bedroom and unable to get on with much. School at home was awful enough without the added issues of no separate downstairs room and no office yup space upstairs. I feel like an uninvited guest in my own home. It has all but broken our relationship. And no end in sight.

You must be able to put a table somewhere? We have a small table next to our double bed ( replacing one sides bedside table). It's not a traditional long desk, it's more a small bistro type square table. Ours was habitat, but found similar on Argos. For files I use the bed and then box up in a plastic storage and put under desk when finished working.
Any SAHMs / SAHWs out there with husband’s who have decided they are now “working from home?”
LaLaLandIsNoFun · 04/06/2021 15:53

There is no room at all for even a small desk in either bedroom.

MaMelon · 04/06/2021 15:54

We're both working from home - we can work separately in different rooms which I'm sure makes a difference, but I have to say I've loved it. From both being out of the house 5 days a week working in different parts of the country we now get to have lunch and a walk and a chat together. It's far less stressful than it was when we were both commuting and charging about to meetings etc.

Taliskerskye · 04/06/2021 15:55

Can’t he build an office in the garden or something. Can you get a part time job? I would rather be working part time than cleaning

Original poster
samaya · 04/06/2021 15:56

Lala - that is ridiculous that he is expected to do a confidential job from home! How on earth did you manage when it was home school?

OP posts:
Tereseta · 04/06/2021 15:56

@LaLaLandIsNoFun

Yup. Driving me crazy.

OH is in civil service and everything is highly confidential. Downstairs is completely open plan, including stairs and hallway and we have two bedrooms with no room for any kind of office space. For a year now I’ve basically been living in the bedroom and unable to get on with much. School at home was awful enough without the added issues of no separate downstairs room and no office yup space upstairs. I feel like an uninvited guest in my own home. It has all but broken our relationship. And no end in sight.

Surely he should be in the bedroom. I'm wfh civil service and in our bedroom. My oh is a SAHD and it has been a change to his routines but think we have settled into new ones now. I think it helps that I am here if he needs to leave the kids for a bit or for a pick up.
MrsFin · 04/06/2021 15:57

I doubt you DH has unilaterally decided to wfh. My employer has told us that's what we're going to do from here on.
We can only go to the office for whole team meetings.

LaLaLandIsNoFun · 04/06/2021 15:58

@samaya - it was a pain. During those times he had to work from sitting on the bed - which was very uncomfortable for him.

I cannot wait for him to go back to work.

Wombats12 · 04/06/2021 15:59

My DH worked from home for 20 years. I learned to sleep whilst listening to typing.

Definitely don't be making his lunch if that's not your normal thing to do.

Reclaim your houses, folks, I bet they are less polite to you than if they were interacting in the office.

MrsFin · 04/06/2021 16:00

@samaya

Hmmm. Well, my DH is basically a workaholic, but lockdown was really good for him as it meant he couldn’t get on planes and be here there and everywhere. He was forced to calm down. He also sold his main company before lockdown, so now only takes on projects he wants to do. When he announced he was getting out of the rental contract on his offices and he’d be working from home, I was pleased because I thought he’d be taking a step back. He is 50. Over lockdown he has gone absolutely mental with fitness training and body conditioning to an extent that is slightly concerning, but that’s another thread. But mainly now he’s working from home, I feel like my “me time” is being eroded, if that makes sense. He’s always “busy busy busy” and this is the vibe, so I feel like I have to be too. I’ve never done so much housework! Plus I now have to make his lunch and eat with him (never particularly ate lunch in the week) and have the distinct sense I am morphing into a quasi-PA role. Help!

Have you thought about getting a job yourself, to get out of the house? Or some volunteering or something.

CovidCanFuckOff · 04/06/2021 16:01

DH has been working from home for the last 5 years, I'm a SAHM. Though our kid is now 8 so not sure that still makes me a SAHM. We chill out in the livingroom together a lot, he's in his corner on his computer and I have the tv. It works for us but neither of us is very annoying and are good at letting each other get on with things. Handy to have him around all the time and he does the morning school runs quite a bit. He enjoys me being around as well. I dunno, he's my best friend and very good at never making me feel drained. We are both introverts.

MadgeMak · 04/06/2021 16:01

@LaLaLandIsNoFun

There is no room at all for even a small desk in either bedroom.
So he gets all the downstairs and you and the kids have to contain yourselves to the bedroom? Bonkers. My husband is working from home and his kit is set up on top of a set of chest of drawers in our bedroom. It's not ideal for him, but it would have been even less ideal for me and kids homeschooling from a bedroom for months on end whilst he had the run of the rest of the house.
RuggerHug · 04/06/2021 16:03

@LaLaLandIsNoFun

Yup. Driving me crazy.

OH is in civil service and everything is highly confidential. Downstairs is completely open plan, including stairs and hallway and we have two bedrooms with no room for any kind of office space. For a year now I’ve basically been living in the bedroom and unable to get on with much. School at home was awful enough without the added issues of no separate downstairs room and no office yup space upstairs. I feel like an uninvited guest in my own home. It has all but broken our relationship. And no end in sight.

Why were you the one hidden upstairs and not him??

DH is in and out of home working but it's fine as he has an office so isn't in the way. I did nearly loose my shit at him over the new spoon and mug for every cup of tea being left by the sink at the beginning though.