Any SAHMs / SAHWs out there with husband’s who have decided they are now “working from home?”

[samaya]

Hi, just wondering if anyone else is in this position and how it is it all panning out for you if so?

Personally, I am finding it quite hard work if the truth be known.

Well he can't have it all ways. He sorts out the shed, he rents an office space or he gets stroppy with his employer and demands action. Or uses the car (if you've got one). It seems like you have to make all the compromises and he won't.

@looptheloopinahulahoop

My local authority has hot desks all over the county for remote workers. For example in local libraries (in quiet areas but probably not confidential enough). If the job is really that confidential, the employer needs to step up. Your DH needs to say he cannot work from home anymore so what do they suggest.

Ok. I’m stepping out.

Talking about people’s privates lives is confidential.

I’ve raised it with him - apparently I’m supposed to grin and bear it and the LA expects me to be out of the way.

I can argue with him - at the end of the day I ding have much say as I don’t earn the money. It’s shit. But I don’t have much choice - and I also have nowhere to go. No family.

I think OP's problems are much more serious and deep than op might have suggested in the first post. The workaholic, fitness, lack of respect, lack of effort and time are major issues.

Tbf
Your husband sounds like a cunt
Get a job ASAP.
Living in a fancy house in Barnes isn’t going to save you

I hate to say this, but there's zero chance that most of his calls are secret/top secret - it's really only occasional unless he's top brass in the "Home Office" or "Foreign Office"

Quite a sweeping and incorrect statement there!

OP is seriously in denial. There's 100's of threads of being married to such a man.

All women leave. Fact.

It's just OP isn't 'there' yet.

I'm a sahp and my partner works home and now that we've bought him a desk, he's upstairs in our DS room rather than the dining table and it's working OK for us.
I'm looking after our DD but can quickly nip out to shops whilst she's napping if I need to, we have lunch dates together, even naughty ones when DD is at nursery. I love having my DP at home and I'll really miss him when he goes back to the office.

DH worked from home from lockdown 1 until a few weeks ago. Was great. Left the babies with him whilst I did school run or sent him on it. He'd come down and make lunch. He was "home" earlier because no commute. Kids really miss him now he's gone 2 hours longer a day.

But he was upstairs out the way, not in the living room or kitchen when I am. Of he'd complained about noise etc it would be different

@samaya can he help with the school runs now bad you could go back to work? Are the kids old enough to entertainment themselves with Dad at home between school end and you getting in?

@LaLaLandIsNoFun

Yup. Driving me crazy.

OH is in civil service and everything is highly confidential. Downstairs is completely open plan, including stairs and hallway and we have two bedrooms with no room for any kind of office space. For a year now I’ve basically been living in the bedroom and unable to get on with much. School at home was awful enough without the added issues of no separate downstairs room and no office yup space upstairs. I feel like an uninvited guest in my own home. It has all but broken our relationship. And no end in sight.

Sorry to hear that. Sounds exceptionally tough.. hope you get your space back soon

Both WFH since start off pandemic, him ft and me pt. It's become a permanent arrangement now and although I struggled with the change in the beginning, but we've set some good boundaries and now I wouldn't have it any other way. It also helps we have separate office space on the days we are both working.

I am not a SAHM but work part time so that I can pick up youngest from after school club. We get in about 5.00 and this would be my time to cook a decent meal listening to PM on the Radio. When my DH was WFH he didn't want me to put the radio on as we have a downstairs bedroom where the office is and he would still be on calls until 6.30. The DC had to basically play or hang out in their room as the lounge is next to this bedroom/temp office and the TV couldn't go on because of conference calls. It was nice having him around for dinner as pre-pandemic that was rare in the week. He would get in at 7-8 or really late, 12 as his job involves client dinners. His job has returned to the office and he has a new job which means he will be back to commuting and the company want him in their office and taking clients out for dinner. I have mixed feelings, I miss him but then the weekday evenings are going to be fairly easy and cheap as he won't need dinner.

I think if I wasn't working in the day I would feel like I had to be doing more as that's a bit how I felt when we got in at 5, I felt I couldn't really watch Pointless for instance.

@samaya

Lala - what are the civil service saying about them returning to the office? Any dates on the horizon at least?

We have been told it will be hybrid working from now on. Our office has been seconded to other Cs departments and they are in the process of replacing our desktops with laptops to enable home/office working. Though saying that if you want to work in the office full time we can, and have been able to since last June.

@LaLaLandIsNoFun

Yup. Driving me crazy.

OH is in civil service and everything is highly confidential. Downstairs is completely open plan, including stairs and hallway and we have two bedrooms with no room for any kind of office space. For a year now I’ve basically been living in the bedroom and unable to get on with much. School at home was awful enough without the added issues of no separate downstairs room and no office yup space upstairs. I feel like an uninvited guest in my own home. It has all but broken our relationship. And no end in sight.

He needs to be looking into renting some local office space

That sounds awful and is no way for you to live