RSVP to wedding with pretend allergies!

[TheBirdIsTheWord]

NC as this is outing!

We've had a few RSVPs back for our wedding and suddenly all the 'allergies' are crawling out of the woodworks! So far we have cream, mushrooms, nuts, peppers, chilli and cheese and more!

Whilst some of them I know are genuine and we are of course accommodating them, others I know for a fact are BS because I've seen them eat these things regularly and be absolutely fine. It's frustrating because the most affordable option for catering to a large group of people all being served at the same time was to have a set menu. It's impossible to plan a set menu that accommodates every single person and to serve these individuals something different tailored to them will cost us extra per person on top of the set price. We're happy to do that for genuine allergies but not for people who we know are making it up. It feels like people are just saying they have allergies without caring about how inconvenient it is for us to rearrange the menu so they don't have to eat a mushroom or whatever. We are providing canapes, a three course meal, and a buffet, (and cake!!) so if they dont like one thing there'll be other options.

I dont really know what to do, I dont know whether to just ignore the silly ones that I know aren't true. I dont want to argue with anyone. I'm really surprised and disappointed with how many people are making things up as if they think I'm a bit thick and wont realize, or they just dont gaf about being unnecessarily difficult.

Is it U to reply and say 'we'll try to accommodate your allergy but in an catering environment cross contamination is always a risk. It would be useful to know where you keep your epipen in case of emergency?'

It can sometimes seriously mean another 6 different meals
You surely just plan one dish that can be eaten by all the diners with dietary requirements. You do plain meat or fish with a sauce on the side that can be left or added as you plate. A dessert avoiding common allergens. Likewise a starter of something like a soup/mezze for everyone. As a wedding caterer you should have a repertoire of dishes and let's face it, none of these allergies are particularly unusual.
I spent 20+ years in hospitality in all sorts of venues and 4 years hosting foreign students, many of which had allergies and daddy diets. I can't say it was a particular issue.

Daddy diets ?
FADDY diets !

@Disfordarkchocolate

I would put on one vegan option that has none of the know allergies in and let them know this is what they are eating. My son has an allergy and this is what happened at the last wedding we went to. He was fine, we took snacks incase he didn't like it.

Yep. I'm lactose intolerant. I can eat it, but it makes me really sick. So I'm fine with the vegan option.

I'd change from a sit-down dinner to a buffet. Then they can take what they like / can eat.

There is no conceivable scenario in which you, the person getting married, would need to know where a guest kept their epipen, so don’t ask that because you’ll look like a twat.

People pretending to have an allergy is so out of order and really doesn't help people with genuine allergies. Yabu regarding your comment re epi pens though....a reply like that would make me extremely anxious that you weren't taking allergies seriously and I just wouldn't attend.

@readingismycardio

What a nightmare! I'm allergic to nuts, but they're easy to avoid and spot too! (Actually only tree nuts). An allergy to chilli sounds odd, though!

DD has a chilli allergy, one of the least serious ones though.

You're a better person than me Op, I'd just offer my chosen menu plus a vegan/vege option. Otherwise where does it end?

@starrynight21

I'd change from a sit-down dinner to a buffet. Then they can take what they like / can eat.

The only drawback with this is that meat-eaters dive into the veggie/vegan options and the veggies/vegans often get left with no food left to eat unless the caterers keep an eye on it.

@jellybeansforbreakfast

Write back to EVERYONE who sent in their allergy with

Dear X,

Just to let you know that the additional cost of supporting the high number of guests with allergies has meant that we have decided to change the menu quite considerably it is now plain roasted chicken, boiled green vegetables and boiled potatoes followed by fruit salad. Please let us know if anything in that would cause you any issues.

We are so glad that so many let you know as we had no idea that cream, mushrooms, peppers, chilli etc caused so many issues. Peace and Love xx

i love it but could you really say that :)

Have any of you ever asked a group of children to choose sweets etc?
Well if you have you will probably discover that it is a time wasting experience. I suggest you just say what your set menu is and suggest they set aside anything they are allergic to. End of story. If they don’t want to come well that is your decision.

@jellybeansforbreakfast

This is ignorant to. A person intolerant to dairy may end up vomiting at the wedding or stuck on the loo all evening. Not really. I'd just leave whatever I was intolerant to on the plate. I am not stupid about such things.

Yeah if it's something you can pick out. Please do tell me how you pick out the dairy in a meal with a creamy sauce or gluten in it? It's not like it's mushrooms are or something big and that doesn't mix in with the other parts of the meal.

Their decision not your decision.

Dont't know @fairycakes1234 but just thinking about doing it might make OP feel a bit less pissed off

Why not just leave the celery?
My husband absolutely loathes celery. He can tell if I put it in something, believe me I thought it was ridiculous but he could always tell even in bolognese.
If he was served a salad with celery in it would spoil the flavour for him and would not enjoy the dish he had paid for. He's not generally fussy in any way and will eat pretty much anything to avoid throwing it away but he has a complete blind spot with celery

Did the invitation include the set meals? Is it possible you've chosen something that sounds horrible, so people are trying to avoid it by coming back with various requests?

Why would someone pretend to have an allergy?
In my experience, I’d say 60-70% of people who claim to have an allergy, make it up or exaggerate their symptoms (a bit of eczema is not the same as anaphylactic type allergy they claim to have )

Or, at best, have an intolerance not an allergy.

Including your dad.

My dad is allergic to cheese specifically. Is fine with milk etc
Do you realise that he can’t be “allergic” to cheese (assuming you mean milk protein in cheese) but be ok with milk as it just doesn’t make sense, right?
He might be intolerant/allergic to mould in cheese, at a stretch.

None of the items on your allergy list appeared on my wedding menu (thinks back a decade or so...). Is it really a problem? I’m assuming you’re not serving chillis? Are you having cream of mushroom soup?? A cheese board? Aren’t these things easily avoided by an allergy sufferer?

Had a work colleague who always said she was allergic to a number of things - until she actually saw her very boring looking plate of food and then suddenly she was trying to swap it for the regular food.

So just order them something bland, sit them together on an "allergy table" and make sure the caterers don't fove then anything else!!

The only drawback with this is that meat-eaters dive into the veggie/vegan options and the veggies/vegans often get left with no food left to eat unless the caterers keep an eye on it.

One of the more effective, but subtle, means to deal with this is to have a one way system at the buffet and put the meat options first. That way the meat eaters tend to put plenty of meat stuff on their plate at the beginning and be limiting themselves by the time they get to the veggie section.

But - any caterer worth their salt will know the sort of ratios to offer meat and vegetarian stuff in.

I've realised I could be one of those annoying people. I always opt for the vegetarian option at a catered function, not because I'm veggie but because I dislike chicken and well done beef/salmon which are generally the main course options. The veggie choices are generally tastier and better cooked. I don't pretend to have allergies though!

If people have allergies, they should bring their own food to be safe.
What a pain.
I know two people with nut allergies and they just take epi pen and luckily have been fine.

@oakleaffy

If people have allergies, they should bring their own food to be safe.

Yeah, right. They should just stay at home, full stop.

Why people with genuine severe allergies should suffer because of attention seeking morons who pretend to have allergies?

Just ask the caterers to develop one single dish for each course which accommodates all the allergens in one go.

At the place settings of those who have marked allergens, do not provide an copy of the normal choice menu, but a printed allergen specific one. Maybe even with their name on top. Then the servers can know to deal with the ones who actually dont have allergens, they just dont like mushrooms so mentioned it but ooh that dish there sounds lovely and doesnt have mushrooms so I will have one of those instead please.

Oh look at that! People on here being all sceptical about allergies, but woe betide anyone who dare question if veganism may be a pain in the arse fad to cater to! Sure, nut allergy, they must be making that up! Bullshit veganism fad, that poor vegan! We must all cater to their every whim!