Or is parenting newborns the hardest job in the entire world?

[babyblues21]

Is it just me or is the newborn stage really hard. I mean like really, really hard, with very little back in return. I love my 6 week old baby so much, I really truly do. But when does this get easier and more enjoyable?! I find I'm just overwhelmed and irritable most days.

I found it hard the first time round the second time round it was easier but I find the toddler stage by far the most challenging. The first 6 weeks are super tough though as you say you give your all on sleep deprivation and get nothing back. It does get a touch easier after 6 weeks though! Keep going I’m sure you’re doing great!

No. It's not a competition.

This entire thread is about whether it's the hardest thing ever - ie harder than other peoples situations, stages, jobs, so literally speaking, this thread was posed as a competition. I appreciate in reality is a request for support and a good moan, but it doesn't negate the title...

A good few months to get in a good routine, I dont mean sleep routines but just the routine of your life.
Probably dont want to hear this but just as you feel like you have mastered one phase the next starts and they are just as hard. The way I think about it is the last phase gives you more resilience to deal with whats next. Toddlers though, nothing could have prepared me. 😰

@Babyboomtastic

No. It's not a competition.

This entire thread is about whether it's the hardest thing ever - ie harder than other peoples situations, stages, jobs, so literally speaking, this thread was posed as a competition. I appreciate in reality is a request for support and a good moan, but it doesn't negate the title...

Most people have thankfully seen past the title and been able to read the true meaning and intention of my post.

@Babyboomtastic

If you truly think a new mum who hasn't slept properly in 6 weeks following a traumatic delivery, who is struggling with so many emotions and demands and literally only just staying afloat each day, is posting here for a competitive debate about who has it worse as opposed to posting for support... well. That's your prerogative. But you're very, very wrong.

OK, babyblues, she's six weeks now. Give it another couple of weeks and she might well be getting the hang of this having been born thing. It will begin to get easier. It will also begin to get easier for you each time you put her down for 5 min to scream while you have a quick shower or whatever. (Callous, me?). But so much changes by the three-month mark, and you are half-way there. If you think switching to formula would get you a bit of sanity back, then switch: your (obviously much-loved) baby will be fine, and if you are a bit more relaxed, that will benefit all of you.
One upside: seeing how tough life with a newborn can be should stifle any desire on your elder daughter's part to rush casually into motherhood
Good luck with it all.

Kids vary hugely. My first was like this. You have my sympathies. Newborns do have their benefits. My favourite age is 5 to 6 months ❤️.

My first couple of newborns were hard. My second two I really enjoyed the early weeks, I think because I knew what I was letting myself in for and knew how to make it easier - for example I learned to breast feed laying down whereas I hadn’t done that with the first two. However those first weeks are hard and I think hormones, tiredness and a baby that doesn’t sleep for more than a few hours at a time add to this, plus feeling trapped by them needing to be held all the time etc. I think it gets easier once they start getting more curious about the world, start smiling and wanting to be sociable rather than just demanding food, sleep means it feels easier. From about 8-12 weeks mine started sleeping about 7 hours overnight and that was a massive turning point in how I felt as I was getting enough sleep again.

Each phase has its challenges OP and dont let anyone tell you whether its ok to find the newborn phase hardest. It is very personal.

That said, it is tough before they smile. When they start smiling its like they're saying "It's alright mum you're doing a good job we're in this together."

Depends on the kid I think. I found the baby blues stage weird and hard.

Luckily my kid did what I was told they would do, woke every three hours to feed but slept most of the time. I found it challenging but not too bad. Not as hard as when he started to scream every time id leave the room at four months.

Friends baby had colic and screamed relentlessly, I would have struggled with that a lot.

I think we also underestimate our need for personal space. I'm an introvert. Love people and my job is very people based but I used to love coming home and not talking to anyone for an hour or two. For some reason I wasn't prepared for never being on my own. And not prepared for the feeling of guilt whenever my DH brought him out in the pram to give me space. I love him and don't want to be away from him, but I need time on my own to feel mentally well - motherhood is a series of contradictions

@Moriarosesbebe

I think we also underestimate our need for personal space. I'm an introvert. Love people and my job is very people based but I used to love coming home and not talking to anyone for an hour or two. For some reason I wasn't prepared for never being on my own. And not prepared for the feeling of guilt whenever my DH brought him out in the pram to give me space. I love him and don't want to be away from him, but I need time on my own to feel mentally well - motherhood is a series of contradictions

I can certainly relate to this. Time alone to recharge my batteries is so crucial for me, I hadn't realised just how much until she was born. DP took her out to do the food shopping yesterday evening and I had a bath and watched some TV for an hour or so which felt like such bliss! By the time she was home I'd missed her and wanted to snuggle her again. I think it's that balance that's needed isn't it, time to recharge alongside being a mummy. So important. You can't pour from an empty cup and all that.

@theThreeofWeevils

OK, babyblues, she's six weeks now. Give it another couple of weeks and she might well be getting the hang of this having been born thing. It will begin to get easier. It will also begin to get easier for you each time you put her down for 5 min to scream while you have a quick shower or whatever. (Callous, me?). But so much changes by the three-month mark, and you are half-way there. If you think switching to formula would get you a bit of sanity back, then switch: your (obviously much-loved) baby will be fine, and if you are a bit more relaxed, that will benefit all of you. One upside: seeing how tough life with a newborn can be should stifle any desire on your elder daughter's part to rush casually into motherhood Good luck with it all.

Thank you for your lovely reply.

And yes, the eldest has been well and truly put off babies for a while I think! Bonus 😂

It gets easier. I’ve had 5 DC now and I can confirm the newborn stage is not the hardest at all . They do sleep through eventually and you may even miss the tiny newborn stage one day. My youngest is 10 months now and I won’t be having another child so I do feel nostalgic about the newborn days. It goes by in a flash and before you know it they’re taller than you!

@Whyhello

It gets easier. I’ve had 5 DC now and I can confirm the newborn stage is not the hardest at all . They do sleep through eventually and you may even miss the tiny newborn stage one day. My youngest is 10 months now and I won’t be having another child so I do feel nostalgic about the newborn days. It goes by in a flash and before you know it they’re taller than you!

I have a 15 year old and every stage with her so far has been more enjoyable than this. I'm looking forward to my baby being more interactive with me and being able to communicate their needs and wants, that's a huge part of the frustration for me currently, just not knowing what she wants!

Did it occur to you that you were lucky with your oldest? Good newborn. Brilliant toddler, nice teenage? My oldest is all these things, middle one was harder as I had 2 under 2. 3rd one was demanding on me. However, I had 2 other children to get sorted for school, needed me to.

So maybe stop with the been there and done it. Newborn stage is hard mentally but if you want to change it listen to the advice. Let her cry when you go for a wee. She will learn you come back. At the minute it sounds like your always near.

@Sometimeswinning

15 years ago was before all the advice about never letting your baby sleep in another room, and when it was considered more acceptable to let your baby cry so you could pee etc. I think over time, parenting advice has become stricter and stricter until it now verges sometimes in the hysterical.

I mean, I literally know people who have sat in a room next to their (safely) sleeping child, desperate to pee, but feeling like they couldn't leave the room even for that, or their child would die.

Whilst I'm really not a fan of leaving babies to cry personally, I think the advice has gone so far that it's impossible to fully follow and remain same sometimes. I'm not sure it's helping anyone. I mean,by all means use cloth nappies, feed organic home cooked food, co-sleep.and breastfeed on demand for 3 years and wear baby in a sling constantly IF YOU WANT but I wish there was more acknowledgment that it's fine to do none of those things and to use your own common sense as well. I think we'd have much happier mums if some of that expectation was lifted.

Give me a newborn any day over a teenager

My 2 month old has been pretty much exactly as everything you've described! Only just getting some sleep at night now by following the 'Five Ss' before that we were sleeping in shifts, last 2 nights we have even slept in the same bed (baby in next to me crib)

www.happiestbaby.com/blogs/baby/the-5-s-s-for-soothing-babies

Feel really mean swaddling her (we use velcro wrap type ones from amazon) but it's been a life saver, better than me dozing off with her on my chest!

Newborns can be hard, my first nearly broke me through lack of sleep and constant crying. My next three were a breeze - they all slept and ate. But even on my darkest days with my firstborn I never regretted motherhood.

Having four teenagers has now made me regret every choice I ever made.

All down to luck - you might get charming teens.

God I remember feeling the same. It's just so overwhelming and you won't feel yourself for a little while. DD was somewhat tricky as a baby, extremely loud and very particular!

She's now 2, she's a total joy and she's pretty easy. She's still got the loudest personality of any of her baby pals but I love that.

Keep going, you got this.

@luckylavender

Give me a newborn any day over a teenager

Give me a newborn over a terrible twos toddler 🤣

I was lucky, I had very easy babies, who loved to cuddle and sleep a lot. I don't mind my own company and watched A LOT of box sets and did contact maps. The baby stage by far was my favourite stage.

I do however know many people are not this lucky.

Looking after a newborn was the toughest thing I’ve ever done. When I was in hospital, I even started to envy the night nurses, at least they got to go home in the morning and sleep. I had to do a night shift followed by a day shift followed by a night shift followed by a day shift...

I struggled with breastfeeding, the colicky crying fits that could go on for up to two hours, and frequent clothing and bedding changes due to spilt formula top-ups, vomit or poo explosions.

Things started to get easier from about eight weeks, and were much easier by ten weeks. It was worth it in the end.

My first was a nightmare. Never slept, she cried unless I held and constantly jiggled her. Breastfeeding was a nightmare of mastitis and blocked ducts on repeat. I was a walking zombie of tiredness. I'm actually a midwife, so should have known what I was doing....

I met a hippy mum (this was 14 years ago, its more popular now) who showed me how to use one of those wrap carriers. It was Amazing! I just left her in there all day and just took her out for feeds and nappy changes. I then had another 3 babies in quick succession and I did the same with them.

They are all older now and life is a breeze in comparison.