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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Or is parenting newborns the hardest job in the entire world?

463 replies

babyblues21 · 02/06/2021 08:07

Is it just me or is the newborn stage really hard. I mean like really, really hard, with very little back in return. I love my 6 week old baby so much, I really truly do. But when does this get easier and more enjoyable?! I find I'm just overwhelmed and irritable most days.

OP posts:
Original poster
babyblues21 · 02/06/2021 18:30

My teen can be a real pain in the arse at times but at least I could sleep for 8 hours and come back at it the next day refreshed... impossible to recharge at the min

OP posts:
RonSwansonsChair · 02/06/2021 18:34

I think all ages are tough in their own way. Right now I'd swap teenage years for newborn in a heartbeat - but I think you live in the now & if it's tough for you, it's tough and there's no denying it.
You say its not your first so you know there are good days ahead - just like I know I will get through these teenage years & let's hope we all come out the other side unscathed Smile
Congrats on your new baby Flowers

Happynewtier · 02/06/2021 18:34

Op, I have a 6 and 4 year old, and 100% the newborn stage was the absolute pits for me. Hands down the absolute worst stage (so far😅) imo. Give me toddler tantrums, threenager arguments, and the constant back chat know it all attitude of a primary schooler any day, but the memories of those first few months with mine brings me out in a cold sweat. Everyone told me not to complain and I'll "miss it once they're older", and the unhelpful comments of how easy they are at that age used to grate on me, as it was the hardest thing I'd ever experienced. Absolutely adore my girls, and have loved every stage since. Dd2 was quite a difficult toddler too compared to her sister. She was a runner, and had some epic public meltdowns, but I still look back on that stage fondly as there were some lovely memories, and hilarious stories to come of it. The baby stage, with a needy baby is relentless, with no reward. It will get easier... just hand on in there xx

cocoloco987 · 02/06/2021 18:51

Goodness no, Mine didn't sleep as babies but as toddlers didn't sleep AND moved AND had 'opinions'

VettiyaIruken · 02/06/2021 18:55

It's knackering and it's boring. I used to dress my first born up in his cousins party dresses and costumes just to entertain myself. I'd also have conversations with him where I'd give him a ludicrous accent.

In my defence my husband worked two jobs and we lived a couple of hundred miles from my family and I couldn't drive. Days are looooong when you're alone with a baby. 😁

Xenia · 02/06/2021 18:57

I loved breastfeeding but going back to full time work at 2 weeks (not two months, 2 weeks) and expressing milk at work as well as feeding in the night and at weekends was a good compromise for me.

ZingDramaQueenOfSheeba · 02/06/2021 18:58

oh ffs it took me this long to remember...

@babyblues21
watch this immediately!
Priscilla Dunstan explains what different cries of a baby mean to figure out what baby needs! it's absolutely brilliant and it works.
I only found this with my youngest too and I wished I knew about it with my oldest kids. it changed my life. watch it, watch it and watch it again!!!

ZingDramaQueenOfSheeba · 02/06/2021 18:58

*youngest two.
talk about tired, I can't even spell🙄😁

Original poster
babyblues21 · 02/06/2021 18:59

@VettiyaIruken

It's knackering and it's boring. I used to dress my first born up in his cousins party dresses and costumes just to entertain myself. I'd also have conversations with him where I'd give him a ludicrous accent.

In my defence my husband worked two jobs and we lived a couple of hundred miles from my family and I couldn't drive. Days are looooong when you're alone with a baby. 😁

😂 this has really made me smile.

My partner often pretends to "talk" to me in "her" voice - he does this high pitched thing
and says stuff like "hi mama, I'm so sorry I'm crying again, I love you and thank you for the booby milk". 😂 It helps break up the monotony and eases the hell of the sleep deprivation at 3am!

OP posts:
Original poster
babyblues21 · 02/06/2021 19:01

[quote ZingDramaQueenOfSheeba]oh ffs it took me this long to remember...

@babyblues21
watch this immediately!
Priscilla Dunstan explains what different cries of a baby mean to figure out what baby needs! it's absolutely brilliant and it works.
I only found this with my youngest too and I wished I knew about it with my oldest kids. it changed my life. watch it, watch it and watch it again!!!

[/quote]

Ooh this is exciting! Could be a game changer... I shall give it a watch!

OP posts:
idril · 02/06/2021 19:07

I have a 15 year old and a 13 year old and the newborn stage was the worst so far for me.

Teenagers are hard but in a different way to newborns.

I think it's partly that I've just become more used to being a parent. Newborns are a massive lifestyle shock whereas my teenagers have grown up with me. Teenagers also sleep and make themselves scarce a lot which is a huge bonus.

ZingDramaQueenOfSheeba · 02/06/2021 19:07

it is a life changer.
I went from desperation and crying almost every day because DD was impossible to absolutely knowing what my daughter needed and being on cloud 9!
she is my 6th so it's not like I was brand new to dealing with a newborn either but boy, she was windier than tornado season!
she was almost constantly doing the sound for needing to be burped, no wonder more feeding or trying to get her to sleep didn't work.

Ohthiscantbeit · 02/06/2021 19:09

You need one of these
happiestbaby.co.uk/pages/snoo

iduno · 02/06/2021 19:16

Oh it is. I also felt that anyone cld have been looking after her, it wouldn't have mattered to her. I would gladly have let anyone else have a shot overnight at that stage but well no one offered 😆 Sleep deprivation is evil. I can't handle not getting a gd block of at least 6 hrs sleep.

My first born was a great baby and I even struggled with her the first few weeks. She slept through 12-14hrs from 6wks. Oh I had the best mat leave.

Second baby well she still has me up sometimes in the night and she's 18 months. She was really difficult the first 6-8 weeks and very slowly improved. It was such a shock as sometimes she wld have only slept 2hrs overnight and then my 2yr old was up at 8am raring to go 🙈

Original poster
babyblues21 · 02/06/2021 19:17

Newborns are a massive lifestyle shock whereas my teenagers have grown up with me. Teenagers also sleep and make themselves scarce a lot which is a huge bonus.

Agree entirely.

OP posts:
Aspiringmatriarch · 02/06/2021 19:18

It's utterly, overwhelmingly exhausting. I stopped at one partly because I genuinely didn't know if I could cope with it all again! But it does get easier and those falling in love moments are the most amazing thing.

Lazydaz · 02/06/2021 19:18

You have never done it before, it can take a while to adjust!Flowers

Tomorrowillbeachicken · 02/06/2021 19:20

Wanna swap your newborn for an older child with additional needs?

Original poster
babyblues21 · 02/06/2021 19:25

@Tomorrowillbeachicken

Wanna swap your newborn for an older child with additional needs?

No. It's not a competition.

OP posts:
Original poster
babyblues21 · 02/06/2021 19:25

@Lazydaz

You have never done it before, it can take a while to adjust!Flowers

I have done it before, any years ago, so I've forgotten what it's like! 😬

OP posts:
Original poster
babyblues21 · 02/06/2021 19:26

*many years ago

OP posts:
VettiyaIruken · 02/06/2021 19:59

It really does help OP. You have to find stuff to laugh about or you'll go.. well, I'm not sure that someone who used her infant son to act out made up episodes of Chorlton and the wheelies has any business voicing concerns about sanity but still... 😁

MrsJBaptiste · 02/06/2021 20:43

Not RTFT but I feel I'm on my own saying I loved the newborn phase and found it easy. Babies are so portable, we went everywhere when they just slept on the go - cafes, pubs, met friends, baby groups - I loved maternity leave and was gutted to get back to work after 5 months off.

Original poster
babyblues21 · 02/06/2021 20:51

@VettiyaIruken

It really does help OP. You have to find stuff to laugh about or you'll go.. well, I'm not sure that someone who used her infant son to act out made up episodes of Chorlton and the wheelies has any business voicing concerns about sanity but still... 😁

😂😂

OP posts:
Goldenphoenix · 02/06/2021 21:33

I had one baby who slept well and one who didn't (for fourteen months!). Sleep deprivation is an absolute killer, makes you feel so terrible and ill. Yes raising older children is also hard but at least you aren't sleep deprived so much, it's used as a torture method for a reason!