Immediate thoughts on this life-never satisfied.

[Toddlerdoesntlisten]

I have a friend who lives abroad, doors down from fields/woods and the beach. Average but nice house with garden, en suite, balcony. Not wealthy but ok and doesn’t have to work, stays at home with toddler Dd.
Has cleaners once per week.
Spends her days doing play dates, teaching/playing with her Dd, shopping, going to the beach and for coffees/lunch with Dd.

Immediate thoughts on this life, how does it sound to you?

Sounds fine, but everyone’s different- is your friend happy? That’s all that matters really.

Sounds lovely to me, though I would prefer to add in a part time job.

Is your friend happy?

Sounds nice. Is she happy?

It sounds idyllic for some, ok for others and torture for some.

What about you, OP?

I have had this life, not through choice, and was bored to tears.

If she’s happy then that’s wonderful and all that matters.

But it wouldn’t suit me at all. I’d be bored within about a week.

Potentially very lonely, potentially idyllic.

I wouldn't like it as I wouldn't enjoy staying at home. But everyone has different priorities...

Sounds nice but might be boring if she doesn't have other adult company. Does she have friends nearby?

Yeah, I mean, it seems nice but I imagine all the above could feel fairly meaningless if she doesn't have family/friends/ access to the local community or if she struggles with her physical of mental health. Or if she is just plain bored.

Life isn't as simple as tick four boxes and then you are all set.

Sounds dull, tbh. Where's the intellectual challenge or little manageable bit of stress to get you going? It's what worries me about full retirement.

I'd probably be bored silly.

It sounds lovely but having had it myself, I wasn’t content without my own career. So I changed it and went back to work - though not without occasional wishful glances backward!

What’s right for one might not be right for others.

She goes on regular play dates with other mums, her partner works normal hours and no weekends. After work they go to the beach, have bbqs, eat out etc.
She’s happy I think, but, never seems completely satisfied with her life, to me as an onlooker sat in the rain most days and having to work, it looks the perfect life! I don’t see why she isn’t happier or appreciated it more, if that makes sense?

Depends if she can speak the language/has local friends of family. I think personally I would feel quite isolated and I also don't think being stay at home mum is the life for me. I prefer to work. I would also prefer to work to have a bit more cash around.

Seems like from your question you're implying she isn't happy but you believe she should be?

Ok, a bit dull. Depends on the person I suppose - all day every day with a toddler sounds very full-on to me (but I don't have children ). I'd want a break from that!

*Appreciates

Of course I understand that what makes one person happy, won’t another, but I think I’d be pretty damn happy 🤣

People cannot sustain feelings of happiness and gratitude forever, those feelings are fleetingly in the foreground and then quickly become the background, if you are lucky.

Sounds ideal for retirement. But not for entire working life for me. I would feel like I wasn’t contributing to society. It’s a pleasant existence, but no more than that.

For some that would be the dream, others no. I would hate to be far from family.

I would be really bored.

But I find work fairly boring 😂when I see the pics of beaches and lunches and being so lucky to be with her child and not have the stress of going to work/nursery drop offs etc, I always think it seems idyllic, at least while children are young

To be fair a lot of jobs are dull.
She might enjoy playing/teaching her child. It's a lovely age and not one I personally wanted to outsource to a childminder or nursery. Plenty of intellectual stimulation to be got from books, TV programmes, online, chatting to her husband and fellow SAHMs.

Happiness isn’t about material things. Lots of people are unhappy and unfulfilled.

You can’t project your ideas of an ideal life on others - we are all very different.

You have no idea what her life is really like.