Immediate thoughts on this life-never satisfied.

[Toddlerdoesntlisten]

I have a friend who lives abroad, doors down from fields/woods and the beach. Average but nice house with garden, en suite, balcony. Not wealthy but ok and doesn’t have to work, stays at home with toddler Dd.
Has cleaners once per week.
Spends her days doing play dates, teaching/playing with her Dd, shopping, going to the beach and for coffees/lunch with Dd.

Immediate thoughts on this life, how does it sound to you?

I sometimes think I'd like a life like this when I'm feeling tired or overwhelmed due to juggling work, DC's and studying. Then I realise that it's very much a case of 'be careful what you wish for' because I'd love it for a couple of weeks but then be bored to tears and probably depressed.

I know some people that make their lives look amazing on social media- think beautiful countryside, smiling family- and when I speak to them in real life their lives are falling apart/ going through a terrible time. Are you concerned for her or a bit peeved that she's not more grateful for what she's got? We often don't know half of what friends are going through.

@paralysedbyinertia Really well written and I completely get where you’re coming from..I felt the same once, perhaps I’m just too knackered from work now and maybe just need a break to get to that point of realising how much I need to do it, if that makes sense.

I'd be perfectly happy with a set up like that. Especially having access to the nice weather and sea whenever I want.

Dome people are never satisfied,no matter how good they have it. They're twats and will always be miserable.

However, some people have lives that on paper are idyllic but behind the scenes they deal with shit just like everyone else. Arsehole husband,bad mental health, insecurities, frustrations, stress,worries, feeling unaccomplished or stuck and so on.

@AccidentallyOnPurpose That’s it, out in the sun, by the beach...I don’t think I’d like the same set up in the U.K. as you’d really get bored very easily, but in an outdoors type of lifestyle, it would be amazing

@Veryverycalmnow That’s very true, not peeved at all, I just couldn’t understand how she doesn’t really see anything special about her life, when many others would so love to be in the same position

@Washimal It’s true, perhaps it is just the drudgery of ‘Normal life’ maybe it wouldn’t be as great as I imagine it to be, the reality might be very different. It’s hard to see that though on an early morning commute in tbe dark and rain 🤣

@Merryoldgoat But what’s the difference in your life that’s so exciting if sea, beaches, travel, the outdoors, eating out, new cultures etc is so boring 🤷🏻‍♀️

That'd be my worst nightmare as I don't want kids and I'd hate not working.

Depends on the location and how she feels about not working. Lots of people would be happy with her situation- but all that matters is how she feels.

[quote Toddlerdoesntlisten]@Washimal It’s true, perhaps it is just the drudgery of ‘Normal life’ maybe it wouldn’t be as great as I imagine it to be, the reality might be very different. It’s hard to see that though on an early morning commute in tbe dark and rain 🤣[/quote]
A lot of people miss what they don't have. Maybe she's home sick. Maybe she's romanticising the life in the UK just like you're doing with her life now.

Mainly, because after a while it just becomes life. It's not an adventure or holiday. Just the normal stuff(drudgery?!?) in a different setting. different daily bug bears , are still annoying. Danger of sun burn, not being able to be outside all the time, ants ,cockroaches and other creepy crawlies, hose pipe bans, fire warnings, hoovering up enough sand to make your own private beach.

OP, are you so lacking in imagination that you can't understand why your idea of a perfect life isn't everyone else's? It appears so from your ongoing posts.

No @Crankley

[quote Toddlerdoesntlisten]@Merryoldgoat But what’s the difference in your life that’s so exciting if sea, beaches, travel, the outdoors, eating out, new cultures etc is so boring 🤷🏻‍♀️[/quote]
You didn’t mention ‘new cultures’ and ‘travel’ - you mentioned running on the beach and sunbathing.

The point is some people will love that life, some won’t. Neither is right or wrong - I don’t think you’re somehow flawed because you desire those things.

Things that excite me:

Reading
Holidays
Sewing
Food
Decorating my home

Deathly dull to many.

@Merryoldgoat Living in a country abroad is encountering new cultures and travel (unless you don’t leave the area you live in ever)

Yes, totally get what you’re saying

I think the idea that happiness is created by having a nice way of life, work/no work, healthy children, etc etc isn’t true. Not having these things could make you Miserable but happiness mostly come from within.

@Thatswatshesaid Very true...but a beautiful environment helps 🤣

she’s able to go to the gym, run on the beach, sunbathe, swim and meet friends for coffee/lunch..is this not the perfect life?!

This is what you posted and my reply was a few posts down. You do not mention living abroad.

Why are you so oddly belligerent?

@Merryoldgoat ? I don’t understand, the whole post from the start is about her living abroad? 🤷🏻‍♀️

@Merryoldgoat Apologies if I came across that way though, I wasn’t meaning to be, I’m
a bit confused 🤷🏻‍♀️

I’m sorry if I’ve misunderstood but I didn’t see the living abroad as especially relevant - I thought it was just mentioned as a ‘scene setting’ and not as part of the generally desirable situation.

It just seems that you feel that her life is enviable and anyone who doesn’t agree doesn’t ‘get it’ - it feels like you can’t grasp that she might find her life less than perfect because you covet it.

I’ve had a shitty week OP so maybe I’m tetchy.

Seems pretty boring to me over the long term - great for a few months though. An enjoyable part time job, volunteering or training course in the mix would be good.

@Toddlerdoesntlisten

She goes on regular play dates with other mums, her partner works normal hours and no weekends. After work they go to the beach, have bbqs, eat out etc. She’s happy I think, but, never seems completely satisfied with her life, to me as an onlooker sat in the rain most days and having to work, it looks the perfect life! I don’t see why she isn’t happier or appreciated it more, if that makes sense?

Because the grass is always greener.

But has she actually expressed any dissatisfaction?

Everything @AccidentallyOnPurpose said.

I live in the Caribbean, across from the beach, next to zero commute, and my mat leave was spent much the same way as your friends.

The drudgery is still the same here as it is many other places. Am I grateful to live in a country that affords me an outdoors lifestyle and relatively easy living? You betcha.

Do I miss seeing my family, shopping, lower cost of living, culture of a big city, English countryside summer walks? With every fiber of my soul (seeing as I’ve not seen my family in well over 2 years).

Everyone will have rose tinted glasses at one point or another, and life through a lens is not necessarily an accurate representation of life.

Her day to day life sounds very unfulfilling to me but some people would like it. I'm not really surprised that she's not satisfied, sounds like her life just revolves around being a mother.