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Original poster

Neighbour's children - need advice or to be told if I am overreacting!

175 replies

bluecampbell · 30/05/2021 17:06

Hello all,
We have relatively new neighbours next door, an older couple, their son and I assume daughter in law, and four children under the age of 10. We've bumped along okay with them so far, a few friendly exchanges but not much more. The kids are a bit noisy but it's never been a huge issue.

However their two older kids (I think 10 and 7 or 8) are starting to be really quite rude when they see us, they've yelled a few things at my husband which he's ignored, and they've questioned people coming to our house (they asked one visitor if he was a burglar and then told him he looked like one!); one of our visitors said "those kids are ODD".

It culminated today with one of them yelling at me "hello, hello, your mum looks like a big smelly poo". I replied mildly "that's a bit rude isn't it" and walked off but it's really got to me as my Mum is no longer with us and I miss her, and it's upset me.

It's made me want to go over there and rage at them to keep their rude little shits civil but I've done nothing so far as I am sure I'm reacting because of Mum.

Does anyone have any advice on how to deal with neighbour kids who are progressively stepping over the line and getting ruder and ruder? Should I have just yelled back at the kid and scared him? Any advice very welcomed as I don't want this to become a "thing".
Thank you x

OP posts:
iduno · 31/05/2021 18:30

If there isn't already a 6foot fence, get one built! If there is one, make it double sided or whatever it takes to make no gaps in the fence so they cannot see how at all. Totally blank them. Little shits! Another few years and they become teenagers they'll totally ignore u and probably not even be in the garden 🤞🏻

Gill61 · 31/05/2021 18:39

Rise above it they will soon get bored

Panaesthesia · 31/05/2021 18:49

@Custardo

they sound like kids being kids to me.

adress with their parents ignore the bad comments and engage with the good nice converations, as they see the nice gets attention they will be nicer, if you ignore the bad comments, it has not pay off for them

You must know some shit kids.
poohsticks30 · 31/05/2021 18:49

@DeRigueurMortis

I must confess I really don't understand this trend of "telling the parents" and the idea that as an adult it's inappropriate to tell off a child who is behaving badly.

It's the train of thought that results in many posts on the SM forum that they should never discipline a step child however badly they behave.

To be fair maybe I'm too much my parents child (both teachers) who had absolutely no problems "telling off" other parents children whatever the setting if they were misbehaving.

I'd feel no remorse at all about telling the kids their comments were foul and being clear they'll get short shrift from me (and yes a blast from the hose if they are particularly vile).

It takes a village to raise a child and every village needs a grumpy scary fucker who won't let nasty kids take the piss.

I'm happy to to one for the team where I live Grin

So I am a teacher and have been known to frequently give the look but I wouldn't verbally tell off someone else's child outside of school! If anyone were to shout at my child they would have me to deal with. If she has done/said something let me know and I'll deal with it but nobody disciplines my child except!
Barmychick · 31/05/2021 18:58

....their bedrooms haunted! Genius 😂😂😂

maddiemookins16mum · 31/05/2021 18:58

@Custardo

they sound like kids being kids to me.

adress with their parents ignore the bad comments and engage with the good nice converations, as they see the nice gets attention they will be nicer, if you ignore the bad comments, it has not pay off for them

And this is exactly why teachers get treated like shit by kids and their parents alike.

If we had spoken to adults like that ‘back in the day’, the backs of our legs would be stinging and we’d have NEVER done it again.

nancywhitehead · 31/05/2021 19:00

@Hardertobreathe

I must confess I really don't understand this trend of "telling the parents" and the idea that as an adult it's inappropriate to tell off a child who is behaving badly. *@DeRigueurMortis* that’s how I felt until I told DC’s classmate to please stop kicking him, only to have the little lambs DM came at me snarling “I’m not having anyone tell my child off”. It seems that’s the way a lot of parents think these days!
It's a shame though - if my kids insulted a neighbour like this then I would want that neighbour to tell them off there and then rather than waiting for it to eventually get back to me!
SchadenfreudePersonified · 31/05/2021 19:00

[quote drpet49]@Custardo kids being kids? Not they are not. They are rude and need telling.[/quote]
I agree.

Speak to the parents, though.

If you check the kids themselves they'll just get cheekier and geekier - may even progress to vandalism. They'll have a lot more energy for the fight than you will.

nancywhitehead · 31/05/2021 19:03

If anyone were to shout at my child they would have me to deal with. If she has done/said something let me know and I'll deal with it but nobody disciplines my child except!

Even if your child was being a little s* and said something really insulting?

At 8-10 years old kids should know better than to shout insults at strangers, and if they behave this way then they should experience the consequences of however those strangers might react (obviously within reason!)

TheYearOfSmallThings · 31/05/2021 19:06

If anyone were to shout at my child they would have me to deal with. If she has done/said something let me know and I'll deal with it but nobody disciplines my child except me!

If your 10 year old is out shouting abuse at your neighbour, then somebody other than you needs to be disciplining them for everyone's sake.

Closetbeanmuncher · 31/05/2021 19:09

I hate cheeky bastard little kids

Same, and the parents who refer to them as "divas" which we all know is code for precocious brat.

Buffs · 31/05/2021 19:11

Ignore them. Do not get into a war with rude kids, they will love it and have far more energy for it than you. Their rudeness will be a far greater problem for their parents and your revenge will be in knowing that. They are not your problem, do not make it your problem.

intheenddoesitreallymatter · 31/05/2021 19:12

Tell them to watch out for mr smile.

Shudder and then say nothing more and go inside.

For added effect stand at the front window pointing into thin air for 45 minutes.

Chillychangchoo · 31/05/2021 19:14

Poor you. I doubt they have nice parents being horrible little twats like that, so I don’t know what the solution is!

I’d be inclined to give death stares though 👀

Glamgran3 · 31/05/2021 19:16

Is it at all possible for you to get them on video doing it and then present the evidence to the parents in a non-confrontational way. Letting them know that you let it go several times but that it’s ongoing and you are concerned. Maybe using a discreetly placed iPhone or even cctv. Otherwise I think Whowants2know had the best idea. These nasty children need to be disempowered quickly or they will get worse.

agonyauntie2020 · 31/05/2021 19:16

Those of us who've lost someone we love totally get how these children have touched a nerve. Even without that, you shouldn't have to listen to this sort of rudeness and that poster who said "kids being kids" makes me wonder what sort of kids she's unlucky enough to be around. I hope talking to the adults brings some better behaviour OP, fingers crossed for you and hugs for you over the huge loss of your mum.

skodadoda · 31/05/2021 19:18

@Hardertobreathe

I must confess I really don't understand this trend of "telling the parents" and the idea that as an adult it's inappropriate to tell off a child who is behaving badly. *@DeRigueurMortis* that’s how I felt until I told DC’s classmate to please stop kicking him, only to have the little lambs DM came at me snarling “I’m not having anyone tell my child off”. It seems that’s the way a lot of parents think these days!
The answer to that is to snarl back, ‘then parent your -little shit- child properly.
QioiioiioQ · 31/05/2021 19:19

I would get my biggest scariest relative
and they will go and find their biggest scariest relative....

skodadoda · 31/05/2021 19:19

Oops, strikethrough fail 😟

Caelan2018 · 31/05/2021 19:21

Totally agree

Isitsixoclockalready · 31/05/2021 19:22

If I was the parent I would want to know as I wouldn't think that was acceptable behaviour from either of my two children.

Alcesalces · 31/05/2021 19:22

Kids need to know other adults will enforce boundaries so definitely don't ignore it. I remember a teacher friend going to the pub and getting abuse from teenagers he taught when he left. The teenagers knew he couldn't do anything to them. His mates however were happy to teach them that hurling abuse at someone might get you into trouble.

I love the idea of telling them their bedroom is haunted. You could embellish that over and over.

ThinWomansBrain · 31/05/2021 19:27

If you don't have children yourself, can you buy those noise devices that can be heard by children and teens, but not adults? I'm not sure if they're available on general sale.

Give the little bastards tinnitus.

Pickleboy10 · 31/05/2021 19:29

@HadaVerde

Tell them their bedrooms are haunted.
Brilliant ..... tell them it's the ghost of the last child who lived there who was murdered for being rude Wink
Chillychangchoo · 31/05/2021 19:29

@Isitsixoclockalready

But that’s the thing isn’t it? You sound like a conscientious person so the likelyhood of your children being so rude would probably be quite low.

The parents will also be awful, goes without saying.