Neighbour's children - need advice or to be told if I am overreacting!

[bluecampbell]

Hello all,
We have relatively new neighbours next door, an older couple, their son and I assume daughter in law, and four children under the age of 10. We've bumped along okay with them so far, a few friendly exchanges but not much more. The kids are a bit noisy but it's never been a huge issue.

However their two older kids (I think 10 and 7 or 8) are starting to be really quite rude when they see us, they've yelled a few things at my husband which he's ignored, and they've questioned people coming to our house (they asked one visitor if he was a burglar and then told him he looked like one!); one of our visitors said "those kids are ODD".

It culminated today with one of them yelling at me "hello, hello, your mum looks like a big smelly poo". I replied mildly "that's a bit rude isn't it" and walked off but it's really got to me as my Mum is no longer with us and I miss her, and it's upset me.

It's made me want to go over there and rage at them to keep their rude little shits civil but I've done nothing so far as I am sure I'm reacting because of Mum.

Does anyone have any advice on how to deal with neighbour kids who are progressively stepping over the line and getting ruder and ruder? Should I have just yelled back at the kid and scared him? Any advice very welcomed as I don't want this to become a "thing".
Thank you x

I don’t understand why people don’t tell the parents Mortis - how on Earth are you supposed to deal with your offspring when they’re behaving badly unless someone brings it to your attention?

I’m quite happy for my neighbours to tell them off too (if they want to), but I’m their parent and therefore responsible for raising them to be polite people.

@MaMelon

I don’t understand why people don’t tell the parents Mortis - how on Earth are you supposed to deal with your offspring when they’re behaving badly unless someone brings it to your attention?

I’m quite happy for my neighbours to tell them off too (if they want to), but I’m their parent and therefore responsible for raising them to be polite people.

Sorry I probably wasn't clear.

I'd be happy to tell the parents but my point was in relation to the fact I'd tell them off myself as well ie that I wouldn't assume I needed permission from the parents to tell them off.

I remember years ago my mates little brother got in serious trouble for throwing notes with swearwords on into the neighbours garden.

His Mum was MORTIFIED

He was a nice boy, just pushing the boundaries to see what he could get away with.

These kids sound like they are doing the same.

Tell the parents.

No I understood that Mortis - but my point was that no everyone feels confident or able to do that. As a parent I would want to know if my cherubs were being less than angelic.

I think a no-nonsense "We don't talk to people like that, please. You're old enough to know better. Would you like to apologise or would you like me to tell your parents how you've been behaving?" would be the best way forward.

Then go and tell the parents if it happens again. If it was my DC behaving like that, you'd be getting a letter of apology through your door and they'd be spending a lot of time in their room.

@MaMelon

No I understood that Mortis - but my point was that no everyone feels confident or able to do that. As a parent I would want to know if my cherubs were being less than angelic.

I'm sure they don't but I think many people work on an assumption it's something you shouldn't do - and I disagree.

@HadaVerde

Tell them their bedrooms are haunted.

😂😂😂

I'd 100% tell them santa isn't real 🤣🤣 brazen little buggers

@HadaVerde

Tell them their bedrooms are haunted.

Once you've calmed down, I would go to the neighbours house and say that the kids are heckling and insulting you and your guests every day. It doesn't have to be adversarial, you can approach it in a kind and friendly way. If the parents are all "How very dare you, my little angels would never do that!" Then tell the kids the truth about Father Christmas. Niceness first, scorched earth after.

I would completely blank them, don't even acknowledge them, they'll get nothing out of it then

I think some people are reluctant to for a variety of different reasons. To each his own.

@romdowa

I'd 100% tell them santa isn't real 🤣🤣 brazen little buggers

Is it too much to tell them that their parents left their bedding on the line overnight and it has been "darked on" and is now covered with spider jizz, slug snot and vampire bat bloody bite marks? 😂

@HadaVerde

Tell them their bedrooms are haunted.

@HadaVerde

Tell them their bedrooms are haunted.

😂 😂 😂

Ok the smelly poo comment was probably a bit too much but I confess to laughing at the burglar one. That really is kids being kids.

I think you have a specific reason to talk to their parents, even though the child would not have been aware of your late mum no longer being alive. Not just for you, but it could actually benefit them.

I'd be talking to the parents tbh. I'd want to know if my kids were acting up like this when my back is turned.

I'd put on stern teacher's voice, look straight at them and say, 'Excuse me, that's very rude. Please don't speak to me like that again'. If I didn't receive a 'sorry' pretty pronto, then I'd speak to the parents.

This is my approach with children up to about 13 then I'd think twice. I've done the equivalent when I've seen children breaking branches off trees along our road.

@Custardo

they sound like kids being kids to me.

adress with their parents ignore the bad comments and engage with the good nice converations, as they see the nice gets attention they will be nicer, if you ignore the bad comments, it has not pay off for them

Absolute rubbish. Since when was it acceptable for kids to be rude and insulting. They are old enough to know what they are doing they are not toddlers. Absolutely scare the little shits to death OP and inform their parents.

HadaVerde
I like your thinking 😂😂

Speak to the parents and hopefully they’ll give them consequences. If it was myn they’d lose privileges and be reminded to respect others. Myn have never done this and they’ve always been very polite to our elderly and middle-aged neighbours.

I'd have no problem telling them off either. Alternatively just keep saying "sorry I can't hear you can you speak up?" they'll either do that so you just keep asking until they realise that they need to shout or that you are taking the piss, or they will just stop or maybr their parents will wonder what they are shouting about. If they don't stop then parents for sure.

I wouldn’t bother telling the parents , they are probably responsible for kids rudeness. I would tell the kids to go away

Absolutely scare the little shits to death

Tbh I sort of agree with this. The behaviour they are showing is only "children being children" for the skankiest level of society, and if they are big enough to be out picking a fight with you then they are big enough to learn a sharp lesson. I think it would be a mistake to ignore it, I think a frosty stare would provoke amusement, and "excuse me, that's very rude" would have been met with "it was fucking meant to be" and gales of laughter, even in my day.

Say "I beg your pardon, what did you say to me? Shall we call your mum so she can hear it too?"