Guy I've been on dates with has slept with someone else..aibu to be put off him?

[rachelsunshine]

I've had 3 dates with a guy and had a good time each time.
Tomorrow we have a date and we have booked for drinks and a meal.

He was out last night on a lads night out.
He has just text telling me he slept with someone last night and he wanted to be honest.
He said he still wants to see me tomorrow and hopes I still want to see him.
Aibu to be put off?
Would you still go ?

I wouldn't be interested any longer, if he was that horny for sex he jumped into bed with someone on a lads night out, he wouldn't be the kind of man I'm interested in. I'd just say thank you for the honesty, I don't think we're compatible.

How depressing, i'm only on page 5 of the thread but the women thinking it's okay for them to be doing this are probably the reason why so many men are disappointing to date nowadays. They can basically get away with anything. No loyalty, love, romance nowadays, thoroughly depressing

@rachelsunshine

I thought our dates had gone well and he couldn't even be arsed to wait a week or two to have sex with me. I don't expect a life long commitment but I can't be dealing with that. It makes me think he has a wandering eye tbh

I hope you just blocked him. Wouldn't bother responding. Just ghost and delete.

Judge people as individuals, not as members of a group they didn’t have a choice in joining, please.
No need to worry about that, I'm judging you as an individual right now. Go take your MRA gaslighting elsewhere, it's tedious.

No way. I'd be off like a shot. If he can't even keep his dick to himself for a few weeks while you both see if your new relationship is going anywhere, then he's not worth your time or effort. He's having his cake and eating it too. A bit of romance with you and a shag with somebody else. Nah, sod that for a game of soldiers.

And as for posters suggesting that it's ok because they haven't slept together yet, why? Why does that make a difference? I don't get that at all.

@Novelusername

Judge people as individuals, not as members of a group they didn’t have a choice in joining, please. No need to worry about that, I'm judging you as an individual right now. Go take your MRA gaslighting elsewhere, it's tedious.

I don’t think you understand what gaslighting is. I hope you never have cause to find out.

Novelusername

Quite.

So have you replied to his earlier text yet OP?

A man telling a woman that she doesn't know what gaslighting is, while literally doing exactly that. Fucking classic.

It's basic decency not to shag around while you're testing out the waters of a relationship with someone else. It shouldn't require a special conversation.

This ^^

I'd reply "I guess you're just not that into me, no worries, all the best. Hope it works out for you."

Then ignore any replies.

It is icky and grim IMO but the main thing is he obviously just isn't that into you and in a relationship you ought to be special. He's just told you that he doesn't see you as special, so move on and find someone better.

I’d be thinking, well he clearly can’t be that into me, so what’s the point in seeing him again?

I’d be thinking, well he clearly can’t be that into me, so what’s the point in seeing him again?

So would I, which is why I don't understand posters who think that this is OK. There is nothing wrong with having a ONS, but not when you are already dating someone, even if it is early days.

Three dates with no promises either way does not equal being in a relationship.

Until it's been discussed and agreed that the two of your are an exclusive or monogamous couple, each is free to do whatever they please.

The question here to me is why he felt the need to tell you about it.

When you really fancy someone and you're in the very early stages of things all you can think about is them. You don't want to go and sleep with someone else the night before your date.

I wouldn't want to look back on the early stages of a long term relationship and wonder if he was really that into me at the time.

So it would be a no from me.

Who on Earth has that conversation about being monogamous? Personally I wouldn’t bother having such conversation with anyone who has been shagging other people while dating me, if a man cannot keep from shagging other women while getting to know me, he is so not the man for me.

@KarmaNoMore

Who on Earth has that conversation about being monogamous? Personally I wouldn’t bother having such conversation with anyone who has been shagging other people while dating me, if a man cannot keep from shagging other women while getting to know me, he is so not the man for me.

Exactly.

Amazing how many male apologists on here defending his right to shag all round him because they hadn't had "the chat".🙄

He sounds like a player, I would get rid before he passes something on to you.

So, he gets to enjoy the cosy dates and budding romance, but postpones 'the chat' for, well, however long he fancies, so that he doesn't have to stop shagging all round him. Yay!

Not - a - chance.

That'd give me the ick and there's no coming back from that. He probably thinks he's such a prize for being so honest 🙄

So he couldn’t wait for you to be ready to sleep with him so he put his dick in someone else ?? Doesn’t sound good for the future bin him

He is a player

@KarmaNoMore

Who on Earth has that conversation about being monogamous? Personally I wouldn’t bother having such conversation with anyone who has been shagging other people while dating me, if a man cannot keep from shagging other women while getting to know me, he is so not the man for me.

Exactly!!! 👋👋👋

@BigHeadBertha

Three dates with no promises either way does not equal being in a relationship.

Until it's been discussed and agreed that the two of your are an exclusive or monogamous couple, each is free to do whatever they please.

The question here to me is why he felt the need to tell you about it.

🤮

Raise your standards, for your own sale.