To think my friend doesn’t want me as a bridesmaid because of my size...?

[Dandylioness1]

One of my very close friends got engaged a few months ago.

We’ve been friends for a long time and over the years she has always made references to me being a bridesmaid when she gets married.

This afternoon she tagged 4 friends on Facebook
introducing them as her “team bride”.

I felt really upset about it, but still, I messaged her to say congratulations on the team bride.

She replied saying she really wanted me to be a part of it but it wouldn’t have been right for me.
I replied asking her what she meant by that.

(SEE THE SCREENSHOT OF HER REPLY)

Last year I had a baby and I’ve gained weight since becoming pregnant (nearly 3stone ) I do feel awful about myself, which I’ve told my friend several times.

I appreciate she thinks she’s taking my feelings into consideration, but I feel so hurt at her reasons for not asking me to be a bridesmaid.

All 4 girls she’s picked are super stick thin (as is my friend) maybe size 8/10’s, I’m a size 16/18 and I can’t help but feel I’d ruin the “image” if she picked me and that’s exactly why she hasn’t asked me.

She is right that I wouldn’t feel great in that dress right now, but her wedding isn’t until May next year which would’ve given me plenty of time to lose some weight!!

AIBU to think she doesn’t want me in her team bride because of how I look, she’s thinking more about having “perfect” pictures, and just using my feelings as an excuse?

@EarringsandLipstick

I've no idea who guy is either. Your posts don't make much sense.

Oh go away. It was a typo, corrected immediately.

You like your unpleasant posts, don't you?

I quoted you. Using the quote function. I offered an alternative, uncontroversial view. You've taken ridiculous exception to it, seemingly unaware of how forums work. Grow up.

Umm... you're the one throwing around insults not me. Lovely.

Why not have a go at all the posters who are actually telling the OP to turn up in a white dress and upstage the bride (or perhaps you think that's reasonable?!)

Rather than persist in attacking me for simply sharing my opinion on what I would do on a discussion thread and insisting that i'm instead instructing the OP in what to do - cos of course you'd know my intentions much better than me

Your friend ("friend") is Amanda from Motherland. That's not a good thing !

Agree, she’s a bitch....I don’t hold out much hope of her marriage lasting, it sounds like she’s missing the point of the whole day - I pity her poor husband. What an awful human being 😒

OP don’t let it get to you. And if you do actually go to the wedding, turn up wearing exactly the same style of bridesmaid dress but in white 😆

She’s a douche! I wouldn’t even reply to that, silence speaks a thousand words. Please don’t be upset over someone who has picked people to wear a specific dress, rather than friendship on one of the biggest days of a persons life. She’s not worth it. Focus on yourself.

I'd lose the 3 stone and then make a massive announcement at her wedding 😂 but I'm a petty bitch

@TheLightSideOfTheMoon
*She sounds like she’s genuinely trying to put your feelings first.

I’d also feel uncomfortable in certain clothes and it would make me self concious.

I think she’s trying to be a good friend.*

And I would bet my bottom dollar people make a fool of you in life

@rhowton

I'd lose the 3 stone and then make a massive announcement at her wedding 😂 but I'm a petty bitch

Careful @EarringsandLipstick will be along in a second to berate you for telling the OP what to do !

I haven’t read be whole thread but wow, what a shallow person she is! My bridesmaids were chosen as the people I loved and then I worked with them to choose dresses they loved. I had a colour in mind but would have been adaptable. I cannot understand making a dress a priority but then as much as my wedding day was lovely it was never my main focus - I just loved Dh and wanted to be married to him surrounded by those special to us rather than creating a hello magazine type photo album.

My friendship would be over if I’d been messaged like that. My best friend has been an 18 and a 10, currently a 12-14. If I remarried (still with Dh 1 so unlikely I hope) she would be my maid of honour whatever her size at the time in a dress that made her feel beautiful. You deserve better op.

Wonder if it’s this dress? Cow bag!!

What utter nastiness. Cut her out of your life. I'm so sorry

Wow, what a bitch!!

You ask your friends to be your bridesmaids. Then you find stuff for them to wear (together) so that they match your colour scheme, look gorgeous and feel great. You DO NOT pick frocks and choose bridesmaids who’d look good in them and ditch your real friends with some phony bullshit “I’m just thinking of you” crap.

I don't think you should be friends with someone who has had her bridesmaid dresses planned since childhood (tell me that's not a thing?!) let alone someone who could leave one of their closest friends out of the wedding party because they don't look how she wants them to. If you meant as much to her as she does to you, she would have made those dresses work for all of you. If you do bother to go, for goodness sakes make sure you leave her new friends to deal with her (you know she'll be a nightmare) and you concentrate on looking good and enjoy the free booze. Please let us know how it goes!

Wtf

To the few posters on here minimizing this bridezilla's behavior how much mental gymnastics did you have to practice before typing out your response? With a friend like this who needs enemies?

She is choosing a specific dress type over your friendship. Thats telling.

Also your comfort should be your choice not hers. It was yours to decline.

This is painful. But you will move on from it in time and how will become clear to you. Dont act immediately

Careful @EarringsandLipstick will be along in a second to berate you for telling the OP what to do !

Just give it a rest, will you?

What an odd odd way to go on.

What ever some say on here, she is not a friend. If there is a year to go she could be supportive about you losing weight, and being a bridesmaid

She is not a friend, and to say this by text rather than calling says that

Personally I would be moving away from the friendship. Let her make the next move and see how long that takes

I would also not be supporting in any way or doing any tasks

I think I would no longer be considering that person as a friend. It shouldn’t matter about your size and I think that you should have had the choice whether you wanted to wear the dress or not.

Ditch the bitch!

I wouldn't be worried about the DM getting hold of that text. I would add her name and picture too 😂

KidneyBeans and EarringsandLipstick I haven’t a clue what you’re both arguing about but think it’s hilarious that you tow have been having your own private argument that spans back several pages on the thread while everyone else just carries on with it all 😆😂🤣

There is nothing I love more than other people telling me how I feel and then presenting it as a favour and letting me know that they are a good person.

But hey, I get it. Wedding photos last forever (or until the next wedding) and friends can be replaced. I strongly suggest you to reconsider this friendship. Wether it's just a step back or something else. This can't be the first/only thing that is a bit iffy about her. She in not a good friend. The message does not need a response.

Reply 'I shall have a lovely time on your wedding day. I shall be in Crete.'

@JesusIsAnyNameFree

I wouldn't be worried about the DM getting hold of that text. I would add her name and picture too 😂

Maybe if OP submits those they'll pay her?!

She's a shallow, nasty cunt. Bin her and fuck her fiance