Do you think the pandemic has had a negative impact on babies and their parents ?

[babiesandmummies2020]

Do you think that babies born in 2020 and especially first time parents have had a harder time of it ?

How do you think what's happened will affect babies born in 2020, if at all ?

It's not exactly what it is at all. Others have said I deliberately misunderstood, I didn't, I genuinely thought it went without saying that it's totally shit compared to life with a baby pre pandemic and i empathise completely. Didn't think that would even be up for debate!

@Waitwhat23

There's a real lack of any empathy from some posters and what seems like a real race to the bottom. 'We've had far from the hardest time either' is a real case in point. We're not saying we have had the hardest time. We're are saying we've had a hard time. Why is that so unacceptable?

But what do you want or expect from saying it? What is telling Mumsnet about it going to physically achieve for you? What do you hope it will change to make things better for you/reverse the damage from the last year? I genuinely hope this doesn't come across as confrontational/rude/blunt as I appreciate it could be read that way as tone is difficult to convey in text.

@Beseigedbykillersquirrels well you clearly lack emotional depth and empathy if you can't understand why sharing an experience with others, who have experienced the same / similar, can be a healing experience and help some people feel better.

That's why support groups exist...

Some people who have experienced trauma, long to be understood. It makes them feel less isolated and alone.

@cocoloco987

It's not exactly what it is at all. Others have said I deliberately misunderstood, I didn't, I genuinely thought it went without saying that it's totally shit compared to life with a baby pre pandemic and i empathise completely. Didn't think that would even be up for debate!

I’m not just talking about your response cool although you were very quick to state who had had it ‘worst’, when that wasn’t even alluded to in the OP, so I’m not sure why you are saying you didn’t understand the OP properly.

beseiged, there are groups for slimming, drug addiction, mental health problems, carers, and so on.

That is because it is generally accepted that mutual support from others in the same or similar position helps people going through a difficult time.

That’s why mn is a helpful resource when people aren’t piling on to tell us how wrong we are.

And denying some people the opportunity to talk about their trauma/ and or diminishing that they had trauma in the first place, actually makes it a lot worse.

That's why a lot of people end their lives: ' I'm weak. No one understands. I should be happy. No one feels the way I do. Something is wrong with me. My life is great compared to others who can't even eat. This will never go away. I'm deficient. There's no point. People go through so much worse than me and are fine. I'm weak. I'm useless. I'm nothing. I'm nothing. I'm ashamed. I'm a bad mother. Other mothers have been fine. '

In ~real life~ I've only had sympathy from other parents who recognise that being a ftm during a pandemic would have been extremely trying. It's only on Mumsnet that I see this criticism and bitter attitude towards mums that dare to say they've had a tough time with it all. I don't get it. Nobody is diminishing the experience of those with toddlers or older children, but surely there must be some recognition that having a newborn is a steep learning curve in itself and having several resources and support networks stripped from us would only make it harder!

Presumably the OP asked the question and started the debate because this is a discussion board and she wanted to find out people's experiences? Maybe she is curious about how research in the future will undoubtedly look at the impact and effect of the pandemic on different groups and she has a particular interest in the impact on babies and new mums? The title of this thread is 'Do you think the pandemic has had a negative impact on babies and their parents?' - people are giving their experiences and essentially being told to suck it up because it has been crap for everyone and baby groups/breastfeeding support etc aren't that important anyway.

But what do you want or expect from saying it? What is telling Mumsnet about it going to physically achieve for you? - I mean, people sharing experiences is what a discussion board is for surely? Feeling like you're less alone? What are you suggesting I should be doing exactly?

I think that more people working from home during the pandemic, both mothers and fathers, means it will be different for babies born in 2020. How it will affect their emotional development remains to be seen.

The "race to the bottom" comments are tiring honestly.

The point about BABIES having a hard or hardER time, sorry but no, it makes no sense.

Obviously it's a bit more boring for the parents, especially the ones who had planned to spend maternity leave in a normal world, going to the gym a few times a week (and using the creche), meeting friends for coffees, taking the baby away for weekend breaks (when they are completely portable) basically making the most of maternity leave like all the previous mums have done.

We get it. It IS shit when you are home and have to stay local instead of making the most of the baby year.

Your baby or toddler on the other hand, doesn't care, is not affected and didn't need any of it. That's all people are saying.

I fail to see how people pretending that your baby has suffered and missed out (when they haven't!) is going to make anyone feel better. Most of them ended up spending more time with their parent.

Of all the people not affected by the pandemic in this country babies and young children are the ones!

Yes, you’ve repeatedly shamed us for that patty except I think babies and toddlers have missed out.

My son has missed out on his chance to breastfeed as no support. I’m sure many will inform me it doesn’t matter because he’s fed. I disagree. But he won’t remember so who cares.

*Obviously it's a bit more boring for the parents, especially the ones who had planned to spend maternity leave in a normal world, going to the gym a few times a week (and using the creche), meeting friends for coffees, taking the baby away for weekend breaks (when they are completely portable) basically making the most of maternity leave like all the previous mums have done.

We get it. It IS shit when you are home and have to stay local instead of making the most of the baby year.*

And yet again, you've focused on those silly mummies whining about not being able to meet their friends for lattes. Many women here have given their experiences and its obvious that it's the complete lack of any support or services which have had an impact and meant this has been a difficult year. It's probably too early to tell what the effect has been on babies during this unprecedented situation (though I'm sure this will be the subject of much research in the future but the question of the thread is 'Do you think the pandemic has had a negative impact on babies and their parents?'

'Silly mummies whining about not being able to meet their friends for lattes.' - should be in inverted quotes as this seems to be a common perception.

lavenderandwisteria

shaming? Who is shaming anyone?
Do you not understand my post or something?

Does it honestly make you feel better if I lie and go "yes, you are so right, lockdown babies have suffered and will have long time side effect?" Really?

I am sorry you struggled to BF, but it might bit a tiny bit naive to think you could have found that much "support" that would have changed everything in normal years.

The treatment of new mothers is abysmal in this country but that's another issue.

I think for most healthy babies you're right @misspattylacosta. But some babies will have suffered through lack of support with feeding, less medical attention meaning issues weren't picked up as quickly as they might have been, no picnic for a baby being home with a mum who's struggling with PND either. It might all even out in the long-term for the babies (I suspect it will for most) but they have suffered.

I've already said I don't think my DD2 has suffered, she's an incredibly happy, easy going baby. But there's no denying her world has been a lot smaller than her sister's was. It won't do her any harm at this age but it's not what I would've chosen for her.

I do think toddlers are a different story. I do think those who haven't been in childcare will suffer longer term for the lack of socialisation. It's such an important age.

Yes, I understand it patty and I think it’s unpleasant in the extreme.

I agree with you wait. Silly middle class mummies wanting lattes and baby yoga. Had that taken away from them, didn’t they? Did they think their baby was special or something?

Waitwhat23

Honestly, was that your first baby?

Because it sounds like many posters have a very naive view of the "support" offered in normal years and believe they have missed out on some amazing support services.

Around here baby clinics didn't even shut.

I am not sure of the impact on babies but there’s lots of evidence of the pandemic on new parents with ample evidence of poor mental health, increased isolation and loneliness due to not being able to access services many of which have been put on hold, lack of face to face groups etc especially for parents who may be vulnerable themselves, single parents, those trying to work around a small baby and having no help and those whose housing or relationships make it harder

Here -

• no baby clinics
• no weighing clinics
• no face to face HV support
• no face to face breastfeeding support
• no support groups or organisations open
• no meeting up with other parents (at least at the beginning) and no informal baby groups where you could ask questions/get reassurance etc. I run a playgroup and due to lockdowns etc, we've been able to have 5 sessions between March 2020 and now.

It's not that there wasn't 'amazing' support services. There was none. At all.

Same here wait

Same here @Waitwhat23. I do feel sorry for the new mums- must've been stressful to not have that reassurance.