Do you think the pandemic has had a negative impact on babies and their parents ?

[babiesandmummies2020]

Do you think that babies born in 2020 and especially first time parents have had a harder time of it ?

How do you think what's happened will affect babies born in 2020, if at all ?

I saw someone breastfeeding their baby today and it really upset me. I don’t think I’ll ever get over it to be honest

@lavenderandwisteria

See patty there’s that dismissive attitude.

Some people might as well say who cares, they won’t remember.

It's not dismissive at all, it's pointing out that many babies have and will thrived without baby groups, baby classes - which are for the parent, not the child.

It's not an abnormal or adverse early childhood because you haven't been to baby ballet or baby foreign language class.

They don't need all that. They don't even "need" to learn swimming from 3 months old.

Mine was born a couple of weeks before the first lockdown, and it was horrendous. I had a newborn, a toddler and a husband attempting to WFH. The baby was the least affected at that point.

However more than a year on I'm starting to feel like she is missing out. The remaining playgroups in our area have massive waiting lists, our local swimming pool is closed, soft play seems to have gone bust, no baby groups at the library, still to meet her extended family....

It's not the end of the world, just a bit sad.

I’ve found that I’ve not enjoyed having a toddler as much. I mean I love her but I had half my mat leave in the pandemic and then it’s just been hard on my home days not having things to get out and do routinely. I like being with other people. She has had a childminder with a handful of toddlers since I went back so she’s used to that which has helped and her siblings too but she still meets most new experiences with a lot more trepidation than her siblings did. After the initial lockdown last year even being looked at on the school run was enough to make her cry but that is long past now. She was a happy sociable baby prior to the lockdown so there was quite a shift but she’s adapting well. It’s had an impact but I’m hoping it won’t be a long term one.

It isn’t about that patty just about a normal range of experiences that they were denied.

And I’m sure it won’t have a particularly detrimental impact on ds but it has had a detrimental impact on me.

tentosix
It's been shit for everyone at every level. Babies and parents are not a special case. 
We aren't saying otherwise are we ? Why can we not discuss this without you literally trolling us ? That's all you are doing.

It is not trolling to say this pandemic has been hideous for everyone at every level. I did not say it hadn't been hideous for parents and babies, just that they are not different from anyone else. It's not trolling to say families have lost jobs; businesses have gone under; grandparents and even parents have died; the economy is decimated; vulnerable people (not necessarily older either) have lived in fear for over a year; schoolchildren older and younger have missed an enormous amount of contact with friends and their education has suffered. I could go on, but you get my drift. You need to learn what trolling actually is.

You are expressing your sadness at the situation for babies and mothers. I get that, but remember in a year they will not be affected by any of this, unlike so many other people ^^^. Perhaps a sense of community with all the other people who have suffered would reduce the feelings you are having and restore some hope for the future as well as reduce the negativity you are experiencing?

I don't think it will have impacted the young babies much but I do think it had impacted toddlers. I also think it will have impacted parents of all ages, but those of babies are likely to have felt very isolated

@lavenderandwisteria

It isn’t about that patty just about a normal range of experiences that they were denied.

And I’m sure it won’t have a particularly detrimental impact on ds but it has had a detrimental impact on me.

Oh I am not saying that the pandemic has been a fun or lucky time for parents, not at all.

But to the question of negative impact on babies or toddlers? I don't believe so.
In countries like the UK, with the lockdown we had, they haven't missed out on anything. There was still plenty to do, plenty to see to provide them with a thriving environment.

@tentosix

tentosix It's been shit for everyone at every level. Babies and parents are not a special case.  We aren't saying otherwise are we ? Why can we not discuss this without you literally trolling us ? That's all you are doing.

It is not trolling to say this pandemic has been hideous for everyone at every level. I did not say it hadn't been hideous for parents and babies, just that they are not different from anyone else. It's not trolling to say families have lost jobs; businesses have gone under; grandparents and even parents have died; the economy is decimated; vulnerable people (not necessarily older either) have lived in fear for over a year; schoolchildren older and younger have missed an enormous amount of contact with friends and their education has suffered. I could go on, but you get my drift. You need to learn what trolling actually is.

You are expressing your sadness at the situation for babies and mothers. I get that, but remember in a year they will not be affected by any of this, unlike so many other people ^^^. Perhaps a sense of community with all the other people who have suffered would reduce the feelings you are having and restore some hope for the future as well as reduce the negativity you are experiencing?

How will mothers and babies NOT be affected in a year ?

So expressing sadness about a situation for a certain group, means you're somehow selfish for not considering how bad everyone else has had it ?

You know that's a really damaging attitude to have towards people with mental health issues ? It's like saying ' you have nothing to complain about, your problems are tiny compared to other people's problems. You're selfish '

I think a lot of mums and parents have come away with mental health problems due to what's gone on. So have others who have not had babies and I'm sorry for everyone who struggles. But your original post is super dismissive. Inexcusable in fact.

FTM to a baby born in October. The first few months were rough - no support system as my family lives in another country and couldn't visit, no support from my health visitor or midwives, stuck inside all day alone in the winter in north east England...

But it did give me the opportunity to basically hide away with my baby a lot of the time. I think if it wasn't during Covid, I would've felt like I needed to get out and about ASAP (the baby group we're in right now has a 2 week old enrolled!) and now that my baby is older, I see that spending time together was the best thing for us. It also helped us establish breastfeeding (no thanks to the HV though).

My baby is pretty clingy but I don't think that's due to the pandemic. When my parents finally came to visit, it took about 10 mins for her to be completely comfortable with them. She still cries with my MIL who she's met several times 🤷‍♀️

@misspattylacosta how have they not missed out on anything ? When they haven't been able to see family? And a lot of them have had extremely anxious and depressed mothers ? More so than usual ? How is that not missing out on anything ?

But to the question of negative impact on babies or toddlers? I don't believe so.
In countries like the UK, with the lockdown we had, they haven't missed out on anything. There was still plenty to do, plenty to see to provide them with a thriving environment.

They haven't missed out on anything? Oh come on.

Certainly got to watch a lot of CBeebies in my house, but I don't think that really makes up for having broader interaction with other humans.

Babies no. Id be more worried on the impact of 3 years plus

I have a May 2019 baby and a July 2020 baby. Both are incredibly clingy and have only been without me for the first time this month. I think it has had more impact on my older one, my younger one is beginning to adapt to socialising more now but the older one is struggling. This could be due to their personalities but I don’t think the pandemic has helped.

@babiesandmummies2020

My DD is surprisingly social. She literally runs up to strangers and other children and wants to play !

But obviously she knows I'm right there. It's so strange she's so friendly when we are out. But even if the MIL comes over and I leave the room, DD loses it. What's that all about ! Makes no sense. My mum was here for a month and it took 3 weeks for her to get used to my mum and stop crying when I left the room.

How old is your daughter? It's so strange as we have this exact problem - grandparents are a sticking point but DD is so sociable when out and about, visiting friends etc and at nursery (really hard start but settled so fast). But grandparents are a real challenge and we can't figure out why because they all adore her!

I had a baby in July last year and I don’t think he’s suffered at all. In terms of development, he’s developed exactly as he should and perhaps has been helped along by his 2.5 year old brother. We’re returning to a baby/toddler group next month so I’m excited for that.

I think I’ve suffered more than they have. I’m alone all of the time, isolated and struggling. I’m having counselling and trying to feel better but it’s hard. Every day feels like Groundhog Day. The lockdowns were horrendous on my MH, I’m sure many feel the same.

There was still plenty to do, plenty to see to provide them with a thriving environment

Seriously? For a long time there was nothing to do other than go for a walk. People actually had to lobby to have it stated that you could walk with one other person AND your baby but walking with one other person wasn’t even always allowed? Playgrounds were closed. We were supposed to shop alone so couldn’t even pop to the supermarket with them. No swimming. No library. No ride on the bus.

How exactly was there still plenty to do? And would that be just for you/ for people with a garden and nice outdoor spaces within walking distance?

@zaffa she is almost 1 and a half.

She knows her grandparents a lot now and her aunties too. But she cries murder when left alone with them. I can't even go to the toilet. She won't even stay with my husband without me when they're around. She also cries when we go to their house, even though she has been a lot recently. She still cries. I can't leave the room there.

Mine was def more clingy than my first. She was actually late 2019 baby. When the lockdowns were lifted and I started letting family see her/ hold her it used to break my mums heart as she's cry when she spoke to her. Was like this for ages. I was worried about going bk to work and leaving her with family and nursery but it's actually its been great for her. I had rubbish Mat leave but not like she's missed the baby groups etc. No long term effects.

There’s a few studies like the one linked to in the article above, showing that post-natal depression rates are much higher. I’ve seen reference to them doubling and even tripling in this study. I am not surprised. The social isolation, lack of access to support network, no mum friends to be made. I would have suffered enormously.

This is what I’d expect too. Even worse, very little has reopened round my way, certainly not the public sector stuff. So you can basically join the queue for £10 a pop baby yoga if you like. I think it’ll have a huge impact on postnatal mental health. Fwiw I don’t think babies need very much, but their primary caregivers need quite a lot (of support, particularly) to provide that good enough care day after day.

@GoldenOmber

But to the question of negative impact on babies or toddlers? I don't believe so. In countries like the UK, with the lockdown we had, they haven't missed out on anything. There was still plenty to do, plenty to see to provide them with a thriving environment.

They haven't missed out on anything? Oh come on.

Certainly got to watch a lot of CBeebies in my house, but I don't think that really makes up for having broader interaction with other humans.

I don't know why you didn't have any interaction with other humans, and parents are quick to confuse groups that are designed for them with activities for the baby.

The martyr attitude doesn't help.

That's why I am asking if we are talking about the UK, where we have never been locked inside, banned from taking the kids out. The closure of cinemas and gym is not something that has any effect on a BABY.

Nurseries and pre-schools have been opened to everyone for months too.

My baby was born in April 2020 when the narrative was that if you had to go into hospital for any reason, you would catch COVID and you would die. Thousands of women like me were Googling freebirthing, knowing full well it's insanely dangerous but feeling like it was the only option to avoid hospitals as home births had been banned. Partner could only stay an hour after the birth and I was then in the hospital by myself for 2 days. Someone on here posted about feeling that the only time she felt comfortable to take her baby out in the pram was late at night, when no-one was around, as it felt safer. I completely understood how she felt. My parents only got to hold my daughter for the first time when she was 2 months old. Basic antenatal care (mostly by telephone) and no face to face breastfeeding support at all. The amount of babies who must have fallen through the net and not had medical issues spotted in good time must be off the charts.

It really annoys me when people say trite things like 'mother and baby groups are a modern thing, it's self indulgent to be upset that you can't meet people for coffee!'. There has been no support at all. No one to ask if something is normal, no weighing clinics, no-one to check if a latch is right, no-one to have a chat with if you're struggling, no one to notice if there's a medical issue. No baby and toddler groups but also nothing else at all. Post natal depression must be through the roof.

It may not have affected young babies, but it has definitely affected new mothers. It has been an unprecedented situation and unless you've been pregnant and/or had baby during this pandemic, then you don't understand what it's been like.

I agree that everyone has had a shit time but please don't just handwave our experiences away with 'there's not always been baby and toddler groups you know!'

@misspattylacosta

My DD has literally pretty much spent most of her life in one room.

why?!?

Sometimes it honestly looks like people had a completely different lockdown. Are you in the UK?!

Well for many months we couldn't go anywhere. Just for a walk. So she's spent most of her time in the kitchen / dining/ TV room. We've been in a lockdown for most of the last year, in the UK. 2021 has been no different. We went away a bit in summer and out and about a little, but most of the time- we've been home.

We were supposed to shop alone so couldn’t even pop to the supermarket with them.

No one has ever said that you had to leave your baby home whilst going to the supermarket . No one ever said you were not allowed to see anyone at all either, that's the whole point of the bloody bubbles.
When people start to make their own rule, well, yes, it makes life harder!

I don't know any park that was shut either, but that might be regional.
Even the garden centres reopened pretty quickly.

Is there any chance people could stop pulling faces and acting like we are stupid idiotic women when we own up to feelings of depression?