Do you think the pandemic has had a negative impact on babies and their parents ?

[babiesandmummies2020]

Do you think that babies born in 2020 and especially first time parents have had a harder time of it ?

How do you think what's happened will affect babies born in 2020, if at all ?

Dd turned 1 during lockdown. She has been so clingy, cried when other people spoke to her. Frightened of everything. She's slowly coming round now, took her months to settle in nursery. It's been hard for her. Right at the stage she was going to toddler classes they all stopped and she just seemed so uncomfortable.

I think in some ways it’s been a good thing as my husband was home way more to help me and he has a fantastic bond with our daughter, she goes to sleep for him just about as easily as she does for me! Obviously it depends on the family circumstances as we were both able to keep our jobs but obviously for people under more strain it would be a different story.

Nurseries stayed open throughout most of it so my daughter has still has socialisation with other babies and toddlers there at least 2 days a week since 9 months old.

I think older children and especially school age children have probably suffered more.

@lavenderandwisteria

Babies need so much more than that. Yes, absolutely, they don’t need to experience absolutely everything but they do need to take the world in.

I took mine into JoJo Maman the other day to buy some summer clothes and he LOVED the staff chatting to him and making a fuss. It’s little things like this they need.

I honestly can't work out if you're taking the piss or not with this comment.

[quote Waitwhat23]**@Beseigedbykillersquirrels* While I'm sorry to hear your baby was unwell, I didn't mention baby groups in my post at all. I mentioned the 'lack of face to face HV visits, lack of weighing clinics and lack of any face to face breastfeeding support'*. Going off your last post, your baby was not born during a global pandemic so you would have had access to this support. We didn't.[/quote]
Thankyou. But you're wrong on both assumptions.

It will take a long time for me to deal personally with the impact on me of keeping things as normal as possible during the first lockdown with a newborn, toddler and keyworker husband. I know from experience on here how many posters feel the urge to belittle the feelings of women who were in my position, and to make out they are feeble and selfish for finding it hard. I don’t go onto the threads about other people’s circumstances and do that, because I know it’s not a zero sum game and there can be sympathy for all different circumstances and struggles.

And I think some are misremembering how strict the lockdowns were.

the first lockdown was really strict, and it was from Easter to July. Not an entire year by far. Long and painful enough, but is it helpful to make it worst than it really was?
I went on holiday in July last year so I know it wasn't a lockdown then!

The second lockdown - from around Christmas depending on your zone - to Easter was nowhere near as strict. It was winter, but nurseries didn't close at all, national trusts, parks, garden centres, they all stayed opened. People still met.

There were enough complaints about nurseries opened but primary schools being closed to non-key workers.

Yes having a lockdown, juggling work and children at home was a nightmare, but let's not pretend we were all on house arrest.

The point is that it's not doing your mental health any good to pretend things were harder or worst than they really were.

It's like posters who had made up that "1 hour outing" a day. That was never the rule!

It was winter, but nurseries didn't close at all

They did actually in some parts of the UK.

@Beseigedbykillersquirrels your mention of going along to a group in a library was what made me think you were talking pre-pandemic. In my area, groups running in libraries closed down in March 2020 and didn't re-open until this week. If that was not the case in your area, then I apologise for my assumption.

In some parts of the north west lockdown then tier 3 then a new tier 4 was created especially for greater Manchester then come September things got a little normal for one term before cases went into overdrive so back into lockdown.
I think we had 3 weeks in-between lockdown 1 ending and being put into very strict measures

I think parents of babies have had a hard time. The babies themselves, not so much.

A harder time? Harder than whom?

At what point in the year was your baby born misspattylacosta?

I don't think it's affected DD (16wks) as luckily she was born closer to the end of current restrictions.
However DS age 3 has been affected terribly, he has just turned age 2 and overnight lost his nursery, grandparents, friends, family, all social and leisure access. I was also heavily pregnant and shielding half of last year so it was close to a year for him. He is angry, confused and definitely not the happy carefree little boy he was.
Both myself and DH had to continue working and he spent a large amount of time sat in a room on his own (supervised but with very little interaction). I'm devastated about what he has lost and what the long term affects may be.

I'm interested in the effect on babies immunity, having had limited exposure to people for a year. Since we started socialising more at end of lockdown and schools went back in March here, my DC who was born last year, has been chronically ill with a resp virus (not covid). When I was pregnant I read a research study from one of the previous flu pandemics that said babies born during pandemics have worse health outcomes so I wonder if this is why. The effects of socialising may not just be about social and language skills.

This is going to no doubt be an extremely unpopular opinion but over the past few years women appear to have built up this fairytale image of what having a baby, or more specifically, what maternity leave, will be like. Images of going to lots of classes with tiny babies (who either sleep through the whole thing or just want to be cuddled by their mothers), meeting other 'mummy friends' who will all want to meet up for lattes and picnics in the park, playdates with newborns who will not benefit in the slightest from them...

I had a baby in 2019 and that was pretty much what maternity leave was like. Tuesday bounce and rhyme at the library, Wednesday breastfeeding support group followed by cafe with new mummy friends, Thursday church toddler group, Friday either baby swimming or a different church toddler group. All of it cheap or free. Plus the chance to go out to cafes at weekends or visit family or friends at home. It was great! I don't think a baby of under 9 months gains anything from any of these groups that can't be provided at home by a caring parent and a bath tub. However I gained a huge amount of support and enjoyment, some of which must have rubbed off on my child.
The worst part of lockdown for me was Jan to march of this year - with a mobile 1 year old getting increasingly bored at home, constant rain and cold, I was counting down the hours until bedtime each night. My toddler's behaviour has improved massively since we have been able to do more interesting things. My own mental health has been fine throughout but there must be plenty of toddlers negatively affected by depressed mothers or by mothers over obsessed by the dangers of covid. Also those financially affected of course.

No doubt it has been rough but I don’t believe it has been harder for 2020 babies. Age 2+, yes. Parents working from home, furloughed, single parents etc with age 2+, hell yes. 🎖 Lots of families have rough starts every single year. Access to quality post-natal services and breastfeeding support is a postcode lottery.

And in regards to baby groups I've found that only a very certain demographic of mum's focus on baby groups and even then mainly with first borns. Once you have multiple children it's very difficult to maintain daily/ weekly attendance to groups depending on older children's timetables/nap times/ school and nursery drop offs and pick ups.

That's not been my experience. There are lots of groups where weekly attendance isn't necessary - you just turn up. They are usually on between about 10 and 12 so fit perfectly with drop offs and nap time for older children. (Are there really groups where you attend daily??).
As for demographic it probably depends on the group, personally I steered clear of anything commercial and only went to the church or council run ones, but there were certainly a wide variety of people there, including a couple of teenage mums and those from.the council estate, as well as the more middle class ones and grandmas. Lots of people brought 2 children of different ages as well. These groups are a fantastic way to meet local people, get out of the house, and get a hot cup of tea made for you. Any benefit for the child is in addition.

@Myphone

No doubt it has been rough but I don’t believe it has been harder for 2020 babies. Age 2+, yes. Parents working from home, furloughed, single parents etc with age 2+, hell yes. 🎖 Lots of families have rough starts every single year. Access to quality post-natal services and breastfeeding support is a postcode lottery.

My ds was born autumn 2019 so we've had a bit of non pandemic time. I had a hard time establishing breastfeeding because he had a tongue tie that needed cutting three times and I needed a lot of support from out local breastfeeding group. His baby groups were also closed once lockdown hit. However I'm so grateful I managed to get help before the pandemic. None of that would be available for 2020 babies - I haven't even been able to see a GP with him since and he's under peadeatric consultant who just phones So lockdown babies and parents have had the early bit much harder than other years. Yes, working with a toddler is brutal, no one said it isn't (and I say that having gone back to work while he was 10 months and nursery backtracked and wouldn't take him because of bubbles so had to work full time whislt caring for him) but you can't just say having a baby in 2020 is like any other year.

I don't have a pandemic baby but DD was born in 2018. In our case, I don't agree that it was worse for toddlers - I'm a sahm and I've always got her out to as many baby classes and other play settings as I could before the pandemic, and then whenever it has been allowed during the pandemic. She had three months (March-June) last year when she didn't interact with other children, but she was around 2 then and was still into parallel play, and we went out exploring parks every day. We've never gone for a day without leaving the house.

Other than that initial lockdown, she's been able to access nurseries, toddler classes and other play settings, so luckily life has been fairly normal for most of the year. Even in the most recent lockdown, she was able to go to nursery, so that was fine. Her toddler groups were open from August-January, and then shut for the third lockdown, but reopened in April. She's not clingy at all, and is developing well with communication/cognitive skills.

I realise we're very lucky, I know some parents weren't able to take their toddlers to the park if wfh, and nurseries and toddler groups in some areas didn't reopen (we're in London and there are lots of options here), or are too expensive. Plus some parents have been very wary of letting their dc mix with others even when it was allowed. As a parent I always felt my priority was to provide access to opportunities to play and socialise for DD within the guidance rules. I think if she hadn't had all those activities and nursery then she would have been negatively impacted, and there's lots of evidence to suggest there will be substantial long-term effects (e.g. Guardian article)

Babies, no. Mine was born 2020. Happy as larry, friendly with everyone, blissfully oblivious of any lockdown. Are you serious that like, a few months old baby will notice a lockdown? 😂 Mine honestly had literally no clue and is way more friendly and sociable than my oldest, who was a toddler. WAY harder on toddlers and older kids. And also mums. Stressful time to be a mum!

(also, I live abroad where our lockdown was literally a lockdown - no leaving homes AT ALL, no daily exercise etc, and we live in apartments so no gardens. Still fine.)

Some have, some haven't.
My baby is happy wIth anyone and was born in September. But we've always passed her around. And we didn't stop family and friends seeing her. Also all babies have naturally different dispositions.

I don't think it's been too hard or parents or babies born in 2020. Official rules were that my partner wasn't allowed in the antenatal or postnatal ward but in reality they let him stay. (Also the experience of other new mums I know)
Families with a child under 1 have been allowed to bubble with another household since December and as long as ten days were left between you were allowed to switch bubbles. Baby groups have been back open for a while now and my partner has been working from home helping our throughput! I was also furloughed for my from 16 weeks pregnant so didn't have to deal with being knackered at work. It really not been that bad!

I do recognise that's not the experience of everyone though

Different if you were stuck in with an older baby or toddler last year though.

@Myphone

No doubt it has been rough but I don’t believe it has been harder for 2020 babies. Age 2+, yes. Parents working from home, furloughed, single parents etc with age 2+, hell yes. 🎖 Lots of families have rough starts every single year. Access to quality post-natal services and breastfeeding support is a postcode lottery.

@Winkywonkydonkey I said, ‘I don’t believe it has been harder for 2020 babies’. I never said having a baby in 2020 is ‘like any other year’. I was acknowledging that every year, there are new Mums and babies who have who have complications and rough starts. Traumatic births, PND, crippling anxiety, isolation, no family support, poor breastfeeding support services and crappy post-natal care are not exclusive to 2020. There are parents who would dream of having the opportunity to go to do ‘ordinary’ things but they can’t. My point was that these things existed before the pandemic too and are tough regardless of what year it is.

The point is that those things were exacerbated by the pandemic so that more women are likely to have experienced those things than usual and more women and families are likely to experience the lasting damage. I don’t know why it is so hard to admit that lockdowns might have had an effect on women who have had babies in the lash year. Everyone seems perfectly capable of talking about the impact on others, and I have spent a lot of time thinking and talking about others’ experiences. Why with women who had babies in the last year is it “well it’s always been tough, so crack on and stop complaining”?