Do you regret not having had sex with more people?

[BrilliantBetty]

I feel that I should have experimented a bit more in my youth.

I married my first long term boyfriend.

I find myself daydreaming about situations that happened when I was at Uni or similar, when I could (should!) have slept with someone else but didn't and feeling a sense of missed opportunity. I guess it's curiosity to some extent. At the time I had the idea that not having slept with multiple people was desirable? Not sure why now.

So not really an AIBU, I guess I'm just interested to know if other people sometimes feel this way?

I don’t wish I’d had more sex. But I wish I’d been braver, more open and more vulnerable and therefore had made better connections.

Ok, I have my tin hat on....

If it is really bothering you, book an escort who looks like one of the guys you wished you had been with.

I had a cliche fantasy of a tall, clean shaven, blonde haired, blue eyed athlete and it never happened. I booked an escort who was a good fit, and "filled in the gaps" of my past. It was brilliant.

Just don't tell your husband.

It will probably make you a better wife once you have got it out of your system.

I know that is a bit of a naughty response, but I am sure you will enjoy a whole spectrum of opinions on your question.

If you decide to follow my advice, go through a respected escort agency.

@SherbrookeFosterer

Ok, I have my tin hat on....

If it is really bothering you, book an escort who looks like one of the guys you wished you had been with.

I had a cliche fantasy of a tall, clean shaven, blonde haired, blue eyed athlete and it never happened. I booked an escort who was a good fit, and "filled in the gaps" of my past. It was brilliant.

Just don't tell your husband.

It will probably make you a better wife once you have got it out of your system.

I know that is a bit of a naughty response, but I am sure you will enjoy a whole spectrum of opinions on your question.

If you decide to follow my advice, go through a respected escort agency.

I don't think spontaneous, care-free dalliances when one is free and single are comparable to paying for an escort in order to cheat on your husband... Glad it all worked out for you though

The older I get, the more I find sex overated. The answer from me is a no

I couldn't really have fitted in any more.

I do! Had sex with four people, one of whom forced me, one I wish I hadn't. So only actually happy about two of them.

I feel like I've kind of missed a rite of passage sometimes because I didn't have fun like a lot of people do.

I love my partner but I do sometimes wish I could have the really exciting sexual stage of a new relationship again.

Nope had sex with 15 I think before my DH all for different reasons, love, lust , 1 night and can say happy with that. Ultimately the ones I listed after were shit in bed, ones I loved didn’t want me and one nighters were just experimenting so when iz met my husband he ticked all the boxes and the rest were irrelevant

No, actually I might feel [just a bit] sorry I slept with certain people and that I did not sleep with other people. However, mostly it's regretting the things I didn't do, rather than regretting the things I had done.

Sounds awful but i often do regret a couple of the ones i let go. Timing was never right, either they were in a relationship when i was single or vice versa. But i am a strong believer that things happen for a reason. One was abusive, one gaslighted me, 2 later ended up in jail for serious crimes and lots of them i know cheat on their partners regularly! I am very happy with OH and our children. When he had to live away as working frontline NHS at the start of Covid the bed and my heart never felt so empty. I was constantly worried we would lose him

No, I don't want germs.

@faithfulbird20

No, I don't want germs.

I’ve had lots of sex and don’t have germs

No, I had a wild time in my twenties, and my fabulous breasts were appreciated by many before they became the sorry state they are now in my forties. I really loved sex then and now I'd rather do some gardening.

No. I have had lots of sex with lots of people and I certainly dont regret that!

Germs??

I've only slept with two people, including my DW. I don't regret the number in itself.

I do wish had been confident enough to come out as a lesbian earlier and to have believed that anyone might want to have sex with me.

She had a strange looking vulva and tasted of urine.
That sounds vile, but tasting of urine is definitely a personal hygiene issue rather than something true of all women

This made me laugh.
I met my now husband when I was 24, but had very many happy sexual experiences beforehand at uni -I regret none of them.
I’m now in my 50s and can safely say that everything improves with age when you’re with a partner who cares about you.

@faithfulbird20

No, I don't want germs.

You have germs whether you have sex or not!

In my case the answer is no. I'm not going into my personal life as to why however I would prefer if I had been more stand back and "shy" now as I was a bit wild

No, because it increases the chances of HPV. I know you can also get it even if you've had sex with one partner (if they carry it) but having lots of partners increases the risk.

I went on a girl's holiday when I was in my early 20s. I had a boyfriend at the time and he was a total arsehole. Unhappy relationship. During the holiday I met a lovely guy. He got a bit too drunk on the last night, and said a few things that made me realise he was very into me but hadn't done anything about it because I had a boyfriend. His respect for my relationship made me like him even more. I did nothing about it.

Every now and again I look back on that holiday and wish that I'd gone back to his hotel room and shagged the hell out of him every night that I was there. I broke up with my arsehole boyfriend a few weeks later anyway...

That's probably the only time I feel like I missed out.

I met a guy on a course once that I wish I’d shagged. Over the course of five days he showed me more kindness and respect than my husband had in the ten years I’d known him. We got on like a house on fire, he was gorgeous, and he never made so much as an inappropriate comment. Totally respectful.

He doesn’t know he changed my life. I woke up to how appalling my marriage was that week, and started the process of leaving it. It took five years, but I got out, and now I have a lovely DH and a happy life.

I’ll be forever grateful to that man, and I wish I’d shagged him.

@LunaNorth

I met a guy on a course once that I wish I’d shagged. Over the course of five days he showed me more kindness and respect than my husband had in the ten years I’d known him. We got on like a house on fire, he was gorgeous, and he never made so much as an inappropriate comment. Totally respectful.

He doesn’t know he changed my life. I woke up to how appalling my marriage was that week, and started the process of leaving it. It took five years, but I got out, and now I have a lovely DH and a happy life.

I’ll be forever grateful to that man, and I wish I’d shagged him.

Similar happened to me, I ended up kicking dh out (after ten years being miserable and being treated badly), the kindness of someone else made me see that I was worthy of being treated right.

After kicking dh out I did end up going back and sleeping with the nice guy 😬, I don’t regret it at all.

No, my husband is the second person I had sex with, I was engaged before I met him. If I could change anything I'd not get engaged, and my husband would be my first/only sexual partner.

@Whywonttheyhelpme

No.

I had a rough teenage period that pushed me to the edge. I tore my own life apart due to other people’s actions. I slept with anyone that would have me because I was afraid of people never wanting me.

I hate that I was in that place. Even though I am now happily married I have nightmares it will all be ripped away. Sleeping around doesn’t necessarily give you a happy experience nor does it solve deep rooted issues.

@Whywonttheyhelpme. Namechanged for this. Unfortunately my number is high (over 100 ) and your first paragraph really resonated with me. 99.95% of them weren't worth the time or trouble and all I do is look back with sadness and regret. Am in my 40s now, been single for 5 years and realised that for all that mediocre sex I've never even had an orgasm. I just read erotic fiction now - it's safer.

Do you mean you’ve ever had sex with your husband and have no comparison?
I have a few friends who married their high school boyfriends who they lost their virginity to and now sort of wonder what sex with someone else would be like 20 years later. I think that’s only natural to be honest and doesn’t necessarily mean you want to act on it and split/cheat just out of curiosity.

I regret sleeping with too many people.