Do you regret not having had sex with more people?

[BrilliantBetty]

I feel that I should have experimented a bit more in my youth.

I married my first long term boyfriend.

I find myself daydreaming about situations that happened when I was at Uni or similar, when I could (should!) have slept with someone else but didn't and feeling a sense of missed opportunity. I guess it's curiosity to some extent. At the time I had the idea that not having slept with multiple people was desirable? Not sure why now.

So not really an AIBU, I guess I'm just interested to know if other people sometimes feel this way?

@Summerfun54321

Anyone who’s had a lot of one night stands knows the sex isn’t great. Quick, (usually drunk) and fumbling. Good sex is about quality not quantity!

Nah, totally disagree. I've had some brilliant one night stands.

No it's always better with someone you love or have an emotional connection with.

The idea of potentially risking my health with one night stands makes me feel sick.

Yes - I felt so judged though as my ex spread crap about me so felt I would've proved him right.

Who doesn't?

I wish I'd shagged more men.

I had ample opportunity; I always avoided ONS, always, never less than 6 dates 😊 but I was with a lot of good blokes I should have shagged but didn't. I sort of wish I had. From 17-36, I slept with probably 10 men. There about 5 more I wish I'd done it with.

Since 36, when I met DH, I've had no wish or reason to look elsewhere.

But I am still surprised at how I didn't shag those others! 😂

No, but then I have had more than my fair share. No regrets on my large number though, why would I? I had an absolute blast and my dh is the shizz, as he came along when I was ready for him in my 30's.

I was what some would describe as a “bookish”, early bloomer. I was one of those “nice girls” who you would not think would do “that sort of thing”. I started around my 15th birthday. Elder sister sorted the condoms for us.

Early 40s now, well into double figures and hate misogenistic double standards. The number will increase, but yes, even with this, looking back there are some regrets about the opportunities that didn’t happen, because at the time it did not feel right.

@MsRinky

I wish I'd shagged Evan Dando in 1991 instead of snogging him and running away because I didn't think I was that kind of girl, but otherwise I'm very happy with my choices.

OMG!!! Yeah, I'd regret that too, but I'm so jealous that you even got to snog him

Yes OP, I feel the same. For me it wasn't through thinking having sex was a bad thing or made me a bad person - in fact I really admired people who had lots of sex, looked like fun! I just never had the confidence. I couldn't bear the thought of taking my clothes off in front of someone. No reason why. Looking back I wish I had just gone for it.

DH is number 13. I do wish there had been more actually.

@claramonica I intend to 😜

Nooooo

No, I have lived a full life

Yes, because now at 42, I'm in a sexless relationship, not my choice.
I think I've slept with about 50. Most of them had small penises too, I'm so fed up of small ones.

I have replied previously. As someone happily into double figures and been called names at times, it is interesting to see those who long for or who have experienced another female.

I regarded myself as straight until my 30s and a renaissance when l was softly and beautifully seduced by another woman. There have been others since (l’m exactly down the middle on the Kinsey Scale) but l regret not discovering my real self earlier.

I think “one offs” with someone (it doesn’t have to be an overnight), regardless of gender, can absolutely buzz with passion and chemistry.

Probably the best sex is the second time with someone, you have discovered each others bodies and the passion is in overdrive.

I'm another who wishes I had slept with some women. Nearly did a few times but never happened and now been happily married for 20 years.

Slept with about 10 people would merrily swap some of those dud ones with a night or twenty with a good female lover.

Kind of. Which is not great as I'm in a new relationship with someone who i don't think will ever be up for introducing other people into the scene.

I had two patches of having more sex. Once as a student which was dire, I mostly had sex with men who asked me, whether I fancied them much or not. Very little pleasure involved, I didn't know what I was doing and sadly neither did they.

Then about 18 months around the age of 50 which has mostly been fantastic. We're all much, much better at it this time round. I've had a threesome with a truly gorgeous woman and her husband, some connections which have gone on over months and some ONSs.

Things have changed and I'm having a lovely time with my new boyfriend and corrupting him But it's nice to know that there are always options out there.

On reflection, l regret not having sex with more people this week! 💃

I've slept quite with lot of people (i.e. more than appears to be the MN average by quite a long way). I only regret a couple and mostly just because they were disappointing, but I've had a lot of great sex and having different partners taught me a lot about what I like and don't.

My main regret is probably not sleeping with more women before I got (very happily!) married to a man.

@Willyoujustbequiet

No it's always better with someone you love or have an emotional connection with.

The idea of potentially risking my health with one night stands makes me feel sick.

I don't agree with the first part - I've had some exceptional one night stands, and some disappointing long-term sexual relationships with partners.

Not a dig at you individually if that's your views, but I think this 'it's better with someone you love' often has a moralising, 'love waits' type feel to it that it designed to put young women off exploring sex.

Some of us see sex as an enjoyable activity that can be really fun with pretty much anyone. Can having a long-standing emotional connection add a brilliant and different element? Yes, of course. But it's not the only way to have good sex.

I agree @therocinante. I’ve had fabulous sex with people I didn’t like, or barely knew. As well as dull or crap sex, obviously, but I could say the same forex with people I liked or loved.

No. My number isn't massive (under 20) but to be honest probably a good half of those if not more were bad decisions made by a young woman with very low self esteem, piss poor judgement and who was desperately trying (without realising it) to have someone accept and love me.

If you were out there having sex with lots of people, enjoying it and truly doing it freely because you wanted to and were having fun then fair play to you. But I wasn't, and I wish I'd had more respect for myself.

I can think of maybe 5 or 6 of mine that I truly don't regret and they were all respectful relationships or genuine 'just good fun' fwb arrangements where no was was invested feelings wise.

I'm glad I settled down with DH at 25. 12 years later we're still very happy.

I settled down at 20. No regrets, I'm so so happy where I am now. Zero interest in any other men.

I think there was maybe 4 other guys in my late teenage years, I never think of them.

No but then I did have the experimental phase so don’t feel like I missed out on anything. Slept with less than 20, more than 10. None were amazing really, none make me think I’m missing out on anything now being with DH.

Oh and I slept with a woman once but found that extremely disappointing. She had a strange looking vulva and tasted of urine.