I’m so desperate to get better by my GP isn’t interested.

[lollipop10]

I’m suffering right now with severe anxiety.

Last year the pandemic triggered anxiety and OCD (I’ve suffered for a long time)

It was so severe that my husband couldn’t cope and he left me last year.

I got some medication and therapy and made some great Improvements.

However recently I’ve taken a huge turn again and I’m not coping.

I’m completely paralysed with fear about catching Covid and the result being death, and I’m also paralysed with fear about having my second AZ vaccine and the result being death because of a blood clot.

I called my GP last week and really didn’t find her supportive.

I’ve felt so utterly down since and have struggled to find a reason to want to be here anymore (I’m not suicidal)

Today I’ve called back as I’m not functioning, I’m
so fixated on my impending death either from Covid or the vaccine and I do not see a way out.

I asked the receptionist to speak with another Dr but unfortunately it was the same one who called me back.

I had a complete breakdown on the phone and the GP so abruptly just stopped me and said “I can’t understand you with all that whaling going on”...

I explained to her, again, how I’m feeling and she sighed and asked “what are you expecting me to do”.

I told her my mind is stuck in a repeat cycle of this worry and I literally cannot cope.
The Sertraline isn’t helping me and I feel like
I don’t want to be here, I want to just run as fast as I can and just keep running. (Not sure how else to explain how I feel)

Her response was “you’re being extremely silly about this, I’m guided by science, so much so that I’ve been happy for my own daughter to have the AstraZeneca vaccine. Take it or don’t, but don’t expect to be able to travel if you’re refusing the vaccine”

I hung up. I’m sat here absolutely sobbing and I don’t know where to turn to.

I’m so incredibly lonely and my last port of call for help was a GP who just wasn’t interested in the slightest and has made me feel so much worse.

I so so desperately want to get better, I just don’t know how. 😭

The doctor sounds like a right charmer, maybe try contacting the surgery again and making it known you don’t want that doctor handling your case. Otherwise maybe the therapist you spoke to might be able to offer some help. Please find someone to talk to, a friend or family member.

Would it help to write down what’s causing your anxiety? Sometimes getting it it if your head and onto paper gains you some perspective.

I hope things improve OP

@HunterAngel

I told the receptionist I wanted to speak to a different Gp but she told me it’s the same GP who does the call backs and will decide if you need to be seen.

I’ve asked for a face to face appointment but they won’t offer me one.

That is absolutely appalling from the GP

Huge huge kudos to you for recognising your anxiety for what it is and taking steps to get help that can't be easy so you're already miles ahead in this battle

I would phone back and demand an appointment with another GP.

Then if you feel up to it, put in an official complaint with the Practice Mangager.

But first priority is to speak to another GP to get the help you deserve.

If there really is no other way, can you try to speak to the same GP but don't mention the source of the anxiety so she doesn't get side tracked?! Try to just focus on the symptoms / effect it is having on you and your life.

If she directly asks - anxious about what you just say (as she should fucking well know!) "that's not the point, the point is I cannot function and feel paralysed by fear which is not normal. I think I need medication to try to break this destructive mental cycle"

I am very angry on your behalf.

Is there someone who could phone on your behalf and advocate for you as you are dealing with a lot

Your gp's reaction was absolutely disgraceful, OP. I would register a complaint and insist on talking to another doctor. Any healthcare practitioner who thinks that the way to deal with a highly anxious patient with ocd is to bark at them to stop wailing and follow the science is incompetent, not to mention an arsehole.

I'm sure some more knowledgeable posters will be along to suggest other ports of call you could approach for help, but I couldn't not reply to your post as I was immediately furious on your behalf!

I'm 99% certain I had covid, and I've had my first Astra Zeneca jab and I'm fine. But I know that won't help - I used to have health anxiety, so (unlike your gp, apparently ) I know that these things can't just be rationalised away. Wishing you all the best, and hoping you get to talk to someone more sympathetic.

@FusionChefGeoff

I really don’t think the receptionist is going to allow me to talk to anyone else.

I was so persistent with her this morning but still ended up with the same GP. 😔

I'm a doctor and I'm horrified by how you were treated. I've nothing to add, but YANBU and you deserve far more empathy (and even basic professionalism) than that.

What do you want your GP to do?

While their bedside manner might have been lacking, I do think the GP has a point. What would you like them to do? What would your ideal solution be? Would you like to change medication? Would you like some CBT? Would you like someone to sit and tell you everything is going to be OK?

I don't think it's fair to expect the GP to have all the magic answers.

@Shmithecat2 I'm not OP, but there are many things that can be done with medication alone. Other options include referral to mental health team, or even to private therapists.

Wow, what an utterly shit GP. Is changing to another practice feasible?

I had severe (extremely severe) anxiety and agoraphobia when I was in my late teens/early 20s. It was absolutely hellish but that was twenty years ago and I’m bulletproof now. Feel like I’ve panicked so much I’ve become immune to it. At the time, group CBT did help although I was initially very resistant to it.

I was in this state. My gp who is lovely wouldn’t change my medications as we were protecting the NHS and she didn’t want me to tip over.

I ended up paying to see a private psychiatrist, as l was struggling hugely and couldn’t get any help from anywhere. It was the best money l ever spent.

He sorted my out, got me on the right drugs and had the time to listen and advise.

Hth

OP it's awful they talked to you that way when you are asking for help and yes they do have things they can do such as refer you to get your medication looked at by an expert, further therapy focused on the challenges of the pandemic as well as that there may be a support group you could join.

I'm really sorry. GPs often don't know how to talk to their patients and I would put in a complaint. Have you had a look for the crisis number for your region? Please give them a call or Samaritans. It sounds like you might need to try a different antidepressant.
Nobody should be paralysed with fear

How about trying the 119 helpline? Or do you have the funds for private counselling? Do you have the my gp app? I think thta can link to mental health services? I think the covid thing is just a symptom of what is really bothering you, and it's the anxiety in general that needs support.

How did you control your symptoms in the past as you have done successfully. Are you looking to try a different medication? This might be a good idea as everyone is different & sometimes it can take a few different medications to find the one that suits you. Best of luck OP, your GP does not sound very empathetic.

Is your OCD diagnosed, OP? It seems as though you might have slipped into irrational obessive thoughts and reuminations which is a type of OCD. (look up Pure O)
The reaction from your GP was terrible, if your ADs aren't working they should at least review that for you. if you are still in therapy that might be a good place to start.

If you are in England OP in many areas you can now self refer for therapy if you want. Google IAPT and your location or check your CCGs website. The referral pathway takes you to the best source of help and often you can book online. Virtually if preferred.

Just wanted to lend some support to you OP!!! your GP sounds awful, and I would consider a complaint!

I suffered awful postnatal OCD and anxiety, and I just didn't want to be here, I felt like you about running, that I felt I could just run and run and run (and I'm not a runner at all!!!) and I contacted my GP and I was told I would have to self refer and I'd be put on a waiting list which was around 12 months long, so I contacted a charity and got a course of CBT and honestly, it completely changed my life, I am on medication also, and it seems that sertraline isn't working for you, so ask for a medication review. by no means am I completely back to the way I was before, but I do now have a much much better quality of life - so I'd recommend a charity that could point you in the right direction, they're often much more empathetic too!

You need to email the practice manager or move gp practices.

Some doctors are absolutely shocking with regards to their understanding of mental health. I once went to my GP with symptoms of depression - I have had episodes before (one very severe) and now try to manage it early, and wanted a referral to CBT. She reported me to safeguarding as our kids are adopted (fully and legally). I made a serious complaint as she had broken doctor patient confidentiality, received an apology and never saw that GP again. Ironically, you can self refer for CBT online so would have avoided all that.

Some people in general are terrible with MH issues too. An ex-friend knew I was struggling at the end of the summer - it was exhausting and everything was going wrong - and just said this all sounds like drama and promptly lost my number. I can't imagine anyone ever doing that if I broke my leg!

The issue is the doctor - change them and get the help you want, need and deserve.

@Lovingspring

How did you control your symptoms in the past as you have done successfully

I think in the past I’ve always been able to talk myself down. I can’t do that in this situation because the risks are just to real.
They’re not hypothetical risks, they’re real risks.

Call 111,op, if you are in crisis and your regular surgery won't help. The GP sounds terrible and has completely missed the point.

@FussyLittleFucker

Is your OCD diagnosed, OP? It seems as though you might have slipped into irrational obessive thoughts and reuminations which is a type of OCD. (look up Pure O) The reaction from your GP was terrible, if your ADs aren't working they should at least review that for you. if you are still in therapy that might be a good place to start.

@FussyLittleFucker

Yes. It’s diagnosed.

Change GPs - You need a good GP! I change anytime I find myself stuck with a bad one, and now I have the best GP I've ever had