I’m so desperate to get better by my GP isn’t interested.

[lollipop10]

I’m suffering right now with severe anxiety.

Last year the pandemic triggered anxiety and OCD (I’ve suffered for a long time)

It was so severe that my husband couldn’t cope and he left me last year.

I got some medication and therapy and made some great Improvements.

However recently I’ve taken a huge turn again and I’m not coping.

I’m completely paralysed with fear about catching Covid and the result being death, and I’m also paralysed with fear about having my second AZ vaccine and the result being death because of a blood clot.

I called my GP last week and really didn’t find her supportive.

I’ve felt so utterly down since and have struggled to find a reason to want to be here anymore (I’m not suicidal)

Today I’ve called back as I’m not functioning, I’m
so fixated on my impending death either from Covid or the vaccine and I do not see a way out.

I asked the receptionist to speak with another Dr but unfortunately it was the same one who called me back.

I had a complete breakdown on the phone and the GP so abruptly just stopped me and said “I can’t understand you with all that whaling going on”...

I explained to her, again, how I’m feeling and she sighed and asked “what are you expecting me to do”.

I told her my mind is stuck in a repeat cycle of this worry and I literally cannot cope.
The Sertraline isn’t helping me and I feel like
I don’t want to be here, I want to just run as fast as I can and just keep running. (Not sure how else to explain how I feel)

Her response was “you’re being extremely silly about this, I’m guided by science, so much so that I’ve been happy for my own daughter to have the AstraZeneca vaccine. Take it or don’t, but don’t expect to be able to travel if you’re refusing the vaccine”

I hung up. I’m sat here absolutely sobbing and I don’t know where to turn to.

I’m so incredibly lonely and my last port of call for help was a GP who just wasn’t interested in the slightest and has made me feel so much worse.

I so so desperately want to get better, I just don’t know how. 😭

Bless you OP, I have had severe health anxiety in the past and I k is exactly where you are comingfrom with this.

People telling you about zero risks etc won't be helpful because your issues are to do with overwhelming anxiety.

Have a look at the website below which was a huge help to me

www.nomorepanic.co.uk/forum.php

There's a whole board there just for health anxiety

And you definitely need to complain about that doctor.

Can you change GPs?

[quote lollipop10]@Nocutenamesleft

That can’t be your only 2 choices?

But they are. I either have the vaccine or I accept
I’m housebound forever to avoid Covid.[/quote]
No. The third option is to get help so you can see these worries for what they are. You say these worries are real whereas your previous ones weren't. Maybe you can reflect a little on that and recognise that you used to think the same about your old worries too!! The reason the current ones feel so real is because they are the current ones, not because they are more real or more likely to happen.

[quote lollipop10]@Librariesmakeshhhhappen

The risk of you catching covid and dieing now really is hypothetical. You've has the vaccine. The vaccines are very good. If you did catch covid, you the vaccine means you wont become really sick, let alone die.

But I’ve only had one and I’m coming up to 11 weeks now so the vaccine won’t be protecting me for much longer.[/quote]
Hi OP, just to reassure you on your point here, the vaccine doesn't 'run out' after 12 weeks, it's just that's when they give you your booster which will improve the effectiveness. You will still be protected having had the first vaccine.

I'm sorry your GP was so unhelpful and I echo what pp's had said re making a complaint - I suspect it's not the receptionists fault she can't get another dr to call you, but the practice manager should be able to. Take care

I'd borrow money to go private. As pointed out, the NHS at GP level just is not fit for treating OCD (if you have an NHS diagnosis, you can see a private psychiatrist with your diagnostic report). My son has autism, but he also has OCD and ADHD and honestly, it's worth every penny that he sees a private psychiatrist (she works for the NHS, too). He also sees a private therapist for the anxiety related to both his autism and OCD.

GPs are very limited in what they can do and they often cannot prescribe at the level you need or even the combination you might need. OCD responds best to medication and adjunct therapy but again, you'll be waiting a long time if not forever for adequate NHS treatment.

We had all three diagnoses via the NHS so it was just a matter of an hour long appointment with the private psychiatrist. He has hour long ones every now and again but mostly half hour ones for about £150. Well worth it.

@Viviennemary

If I was the GP I'd be the same. Not to say that's the right approach but what exactly do you want her to do. Change doctors or complain.

@Viviennemary her job? The OP has asked for support. The GP should be able to provide a list of options potentially available. The OP should not be expected to know what these are or have the answers. How ridiculous to blame the patient.

If this were a broken leg and the GP had said ‘what do you expect me to do about it?’ Your post would not be the same. It’s utterly ridiculous to suggest the OP has to come up with her own treatment plan.

Not a great response from the GP but she’s clearly overwhelmed. You know when GPs on here say they're at breaking point, and everyone piles in with criticism? Well, this is a GP at breaking point. This is the future of general practice.

OP I can see you’re suffering, and of course this GP should have kept her thoughts to herself, but what do you actually expect her to do? You’ve had counselling and medication. You’re presenting the GP with an impossible problem, and your thinking is deeply irrational. What should the GP have done?

[quote lollipop10]@Nocutenamesleft

That can’t be your only 2 choices?

But they are. I either have the vaccine or I accept
I’m housebound forever to avoid Covid.[/quote]

But covid/the vaccine are not the issue here.

Your irrational anxiety is the issue.

Please read my previous post above. You need to seek private therapy.

The GP cannot offer you an alternative vaccine.

I agree, Shouting. Alternative therapy (CBT doesn't really have the evidence behind it when it comes to best treating OCD) and medication, a two-pronged approach.

There's another thread on here in Mental Health featuring an OP who has diagnosed OCD whose GP was trying to get her off SSRI's entirely. She needs to see a psychiatrist.

The gp is overwhelmed due to covid but can't understand that the OP and many other people are too?

Your thread title says you are desperate to get better but ultimately that’s not what you really asking for. You just want a different vaccine and that’s not something they have power over. They are saying that in their clinical view it is safe (so much so that they would give it to their own child). Even if they could give you a different vaccine it would only address this immediate anxiety. This anxiety would then just morph and transfer to something different as you have decided that all your previous fears were irrational but COVID is a real, legitimate threat and have lost sight of how to adequately assess risk and your skills to cope. If you want to get better by all means ask for therapy or a change in medication but this thread is really just going to fuel your anxieties and encourages further rumination.

If this were a broken leg and the GP had said ‘what do you expect me to do about it?’ Your post would not be the same. It’s utterly ridiculous to suggest the OP has to come up with her own treatment plan.

Well, yes, but no. In some cases, that person needs to see a specialist consultant. Other than basic pain relief and the like, there's only so much a GP can offer when it comes to that, and they are bound by rules, too.

The OP should see a consultant specialist but again, the wait for this on the NHS is probably going to be quite long.

@lazylinguist

The gp is overwhelmed due to covid but can't understand that the OP and many other people are too?

GPs understand but they can’t help. If every GP who is feeling overwhelmed went off sick, there would be practically no GPs left. Did anyone see the report today, with a GP describing it as a tsunami of patients? That’s what it is.

[quote lollipop10]@Nocutenamesleft

That can’t be your only 2 choices?

But they are. I either have the vaccine or I accept
I’m housebound forever to avoid Covid.[/quote]
What about everything that people have suggested? What’s the best response you’ve had so far?

Anxiety has ruled over my life for as long as I can remember and I was drowning like you when I finally made the decision to get treated. It changed my life- even if you have to pay, do it. Your mental health is worth it.

Me too! 12 weeks ago l was on the floor, now my anxiety is hugely reduced. My go would never have suggested this treatment. Yet again, it was worth paying every penny.

Some people on here do not understand anxiety. Trying to talk to someone realistically with severe anxiety just doesn’t work. Especially when they are quite bad as this sounds. If she’s in a real mess she’s not capable of writing things down or reading things.

Where are you op?

The vaccines work differently. You cannot have a second dose of a different vaccine. It wint give you fill protection.

The first vaccine does not run out at 11 weeks. You are still going to be protected. There was talk of stretching it to 18 weeks if needed due to supply and demand etc.

I know it's notyour fault that you feel like this, but you need to try and listen.

I was told l could have a different second dose by 119 yesterday.

It’s been suggested many, many times in here OP that you go private, and if you have explored the possibility. Is there a reason you’re not responding?

I understand you’re clearly in a spiral, but you’re making this into a zero sum game when even the briefest of research will demonstrate it isn’t.

@ArseInTheCoOpWindow

I was told l could have a different second dose by 119 yesterday.

Still doesn't address the OP's problem. As she has diagnosed OCD, her anxiety will transfer to something else. It sounds poorly controlled, which is a nightmare for the sufferer and their family.

@AGirlCalledJohnny

It’s been suggested many, many times in here OP that you go private, and if you have explored the possibility. Is there a reason you’re not responding?

I understand you’re clearly in a spiral, but you’re making this into a zero sum game when even the briefest of research will demonstrate it isn’t.

It's less expensive than I thought it would be, particularly if you have an NHS diagnosis already.

What a horrible situation for your OP. I don't have much advice to offer, but just wanted to say that the GP's and Receptionists behaviour was awful.

I also don't get the GP's response "What do you want me to do?" because as the medical professional she should be advising you about your options and where to get help!!! I wouldn't know either.

People had some good advice on here about seeing if you can have a friend to contact the GP's surgery for you and also about talking it through with someone like the Samaritans.

YOu've been through huge life changes this year and its not surprising that has affected your anxiety.
Can you try briefly writing down your symptoms and phoning someone like NHS direct and asking what sort of help is available in your area. Its up to the health providers to tell you what they can do, not expect you to guess and hope that you've asked for the right thing.
I hope you can find someone to talk to.

*Well, yes, but no. In some cases, that person needs to see a specialist consultant. Other than basic pain relief and the like, there's only so much a GP can offer when it comes to that, and they are bound by rules, too.

The OP should see a consultant specialist but again, the wait for this on the NHS is probably going to be quite long.*

But the GP should still have discussed this with the OP and got her on waiting lists and made her aware or referred her to another colleague who could help. It’s not okay to just say ‘what do you want me to do about it?’. It’s not fair to someone who is really struggling and reaching out for help.

GPs understand but they can’t help. If every GP who is feeling overwhelmed went off sick, there would be practically no GPs left. Did anyone see the report today, with a GP describing it as a tsunami of patients? That’s what it is.

I understand that, but there was no need for the gp to speak to the OP in the way she did. It's one thing to explain briefly but kindly that there's not a lot you can do. It's quite another thing to essentially tell her to shut up wailing and stop being stupid.

Op I’m late to the thread but I have been through similar and I understand. It doesn’t matter how small the risk is - it’s the fact that it is there and that means you will fixate on it happening to you. It is not about a rational assessment of risk.

I don’t think you can just reason your way out of it, or snap out of it, and your GP is shockingly crap. My GP was sympathetic and just kept trying me on different drugs until we cracked it. I am still on the drug that worked for me - venlafaxine - though I’ve gradually been able to decrease the dose and it’s now pretty low.

I can now function normally. I’m still a worrier but it’s not out of control and I can do things like take the vaccine without a problem as long as I feel fully informed. When I went to the GP it was extremely bad, but I’ve had it more or less all my life, and it’s amazing not to be tortured by it all the time.

You don’t have to live like this, and you don’t have to somehow solve it by being more sensible etc - you need to be supported through the process of finding medication that helps. My GP said my tendency to anxiety is to do with past events that have shaped my brain, and it’s very hard to get rid of it by just trying to think differently.

I think most GPS understand this - but if you can’t find a different GP then going private will also work.
You can do it.

@CaptainOatFlosser

*Well, yes, but no. In some cases, that person needs to see a specialist consultant. Other than basic pain relief and the like, there's only so much a GP can offer when it comes to that, and they are bound by rules, too.

The OP should see a consultant specialist but again, the wait for this on the NHS is probably going to be quite long.*

But the GP should still have discussed this with the OP and got her on waiting lists and made her aware or referred her to another colleague who could help. It’s not okay to just say ‘what do you want me to do about it?’. It’s not fair to someone who is really struggling and reaching out for help.

I agree in that. I hope the OP can at least explore other suggestions as given on this thread. My son is only 12 and is neurodivergent but we're trying therapies in addition to his medications.