I’m so desperate to get better by my GP isn’t interested.

[lollipop10]

I’m suffering right now with severe anxiety.

Last year the pandemic triggered anxiety and OCD (I’ve suffered for a long time)

It was so severe that my husband couldn’t cope and he left me last year.

I got some medication and therapy and made some great Improvements.

However recently I’ve taken a huge turn again and I’m not coping.

I’m completely paralysed with fear about catching Covid and the result being death, and I’m also paralysed with fear about having my second AZ vaccine and the result being death because of a blood clot.

I called my GP last week and really didn’t find her supportive.

I’ve felt so utterly down since and have struggled to find a reason to want to be here anymore (I’m not suicidal)

Today I’ve called back as I’m not functioning, I’m
so fixated on my impending death either from Covid or the vaccine and I do not see a way out.

I asked the receptionist to speak with another Dr but unfortunately it was the same one who called me back.

I had a complete breakdown on the phone and the GP so abruptly just stopped me and said “I can’t understand you with all that whaling going on”...

I explained to her, again, how I’m feeling and she sighed and asked “what are you expecting me to do”.

I told her my mind is stuck in a repeat cycle of this worry and I literally cannot cope.
The Sertraline isn’t helping me and I feel like
I don’t want to be here, I want to just run as fast as I can and just keep running. (Not sure how else to explain how I feel)

Her response was “you’re being extremely silly about this, I’m guided by science, so much so that I’ve been happy for my own daughter to have the AstraZeneca vaccine. Take it or don’t, but don’t expect to be able to travel if you’re refusing the vaccine”

I hung up. I’m sat here absolutely sobbing and I don’t know where to turn to.

I’m so incredibly lonely and my last port of call for help was a GP who just wasn’t interested in the slightest and has made me feel so much worse.

I so so desperately want to get better, I just don’t know how. 😭

@lollipop10

*You are not listening to all the posters correctly saying that your risk of death is almost nonexistent, from either covid or the vaccine*

But you don’t know what and neither do I or anyone else.

I cannot tolerate the uncertainty 😣

OP you are absolutely right. But all of us have to tolerate it. Every second of life is a risk. You need to come to terms with that, rather than be comforted by odds and statistics.

Have you ever dealt with death? Have you ever lost someone close or does it feel abstract to you?

@Summerdayshaze

Yes, my best friend diet of a blood clot on her brain. She was only 21 at the time.
She fell at work and hit her head. Caused a blood clot and she died 😔

I know that reason is of limited help here - but just to add that asthma is not a risk factor for covid.

Common sense says that it should be (because breathing related) but it has proved not to be.

Those with asthma seem to have some protection against covid. There is research going on at the moment on why this is. The inhalers some people use against asthma may be to do with it.

I agree about continuing to seem medical help and perhaps moving to a new GP if you can.

In the meantime - while you feel so desparate - don't forget the Samaritans. They are really good listeners and won't dismiss your worries. It can help to talk to them and set things out for yourself.

People on here saying ‘oh you’ll be fine though’ that isn’t how anxiety works.

OP I understand how you feel. Not about Covid, but my own issues. Please seek alternative help, it is out there. X

I ended up paying to see a private psychiatrist, as l was struggling hugely and couldn’t get any help from anywhere. It was the best money l ever spent.

Honestly it is so difficult trying to get a gp appointment at the moment and there is not a lot a gp can do so you are better off trying to get some therapy privately.

You could look at getting some at home hypnotherapy audio tapes to see if they help at all.

You are overthinking things. It is good to be concerned about risks but you can’t let them control your life so you need to find a way to channel that energy. Making you could start by doing yoga which is good for the body and mind.

Op

Do you have children?!

@Sometimesfraught82

Op

Do you have children?!

@Sometimesfraught82

Nope. Just me.

[quote ValidUser]@Shmithecat2 I'm not OP, but there are many things that can be done with medication alone. Other options include referral to mental health team, or even to private therapists. [/quote]
OP says she has previously had medication and therapy ( arranged by GP) but now she thinks they have stopped working and wants something else.

Something she COULD do for herself, is think back to her previous experiences of OCD and extreme anxiety, and write down on paper, a list of all the issues she was obsessing about back then. Are they still as scary now?

Whatever they were, she got over them, got past them.

Then she needs to recognise that she has replaced her old list of fears, with completely new ones that are equally irrational. But now she's stronger , because past experience has taught her she CAN and eventually WILL get over this new obsession and get past it. Like she did before.

* I explained to her, again, how I’m feeling and she sighed and asked “what are you expecting me to do”.*

And if you were able to respond, what would you have said?

The state of some parts of the NHS is just appalling. I’m furious that GP’s like this exist, they’re in the wrong profession. You should be getting a referral to a psychiatrist and CBT/talking therapy.

Firstly, write to the practice manager and state that you have anxiety, explain how it’s affecting your life. Then clearly state that you do not wish to meet Dr Doom again as she is dismissive and actually exacerbates the problem. As specifically for an appointment with a different GP.

Secondly, you can refer yourself for the local talking therapy service. They do have a waiting list, but you can let them know this is urgent and they can get you into some group sessions until then.

Are you able to see a psychiatrist privately? Unlike with other consultants, it’s really just the consultant fees you’ll have to pay because they rarely do any other tests or scans, particularly for anxiety. The cost ranges from about £150-£250 an hour. They can gauge the issue in a one hour session and give you the medication you need with follow ups every 3-6 months. Follow ups are always cheaper.

Anxiety has ruled over my life for as long as I can remember and I was drowning like you when I finally made the decision to get treated. It changed my life- even if you have to pay, do it. Your mental health is worth it.

Offer me an alternative vaccine for my second dose. 🤷🏻‍♀️

They can't do that.

What ShoutingBirb said.

@lollipop10

*You are not listening to all the posters correctly saying that your risk of death is almost nonexistent, from either covid or the vaccine*

But you don’t know what and neither do I or anyone else.

I cannot tolerate the uncertainty 😣

I know

I was in tears when therapist told me that’s the key because I said that’s what I can’t hack. What if my family die? My friends? How can I cope without knowing when ? She said learning to live alongside that horrible feeling is key to recovery - and it’s so hard, I’m just back a 10 minute walk with my mum and I panicked the whole ten minutes that I was going to faint on my walk - but I didn’t . I’m going out for lunch tomorrow and I know I’ll be the same then ! Gripping the table white knuckled and terrified at times ...

You need proper therapy, NHS or otherwise, and probably medication, and time because this isn’t going away overnight . I’m five months into therapy and I still spend most days very anxious - but it’s more and more within my control and I’m more able to push myself to do things again .

I found working with the NHS and actively being around very ill people to be a great healer sort of , if I’m phrasing that right because I’m sure none of my patients thought they could cope with their circumstances either but they did . Even the ones in utterly terrible horrendous situations . They and their families coped because they had to . Your body and your mind have great strength and resilience that in therapy you can learn to harness and build upon .

As a few GPS have actually commented on the thread. I’d suggest taking their advice.

Nect time you speak to someone. Try asking what you would like them to do. Would having w different vaccine stop your anxiety dead? If not then that’s not the answer. What I’m saying is. What if the drs could give you everything you wanted. Would it stop your health anxiety or would it go onto something else?

If it would stop it all dead. Then you’re only choice is to wait till the national guidelines change. As of right now. To date.

If not. Then what else would help. I do understand how frightening clots can be. Im in double digits for blood clots. I’ve had two in my brain. A bleed in my brain and now a brain tumour. I’m surprised mine still works! There are people who survive them.

You can self refer because I feel therapy is needed. Before then. There’s phone talking therapy. There’s the samaritans. There’s Italk. You can ask for a referrals. Which will need a GP. Unless you can go private. If you can I suggest that before anything else. You could go to A and E if you feel a real risk to your life. There’s also 111 who could help with a mental health breakdown. Be warned though that mental health is at breaking point in the uk. Even a quick referral is likely to take a while. So you need to take steps to help yourself during the meantime.

How can you help yourself at home? I’d google some self help. Like help to stop intrusive thoughts. I’ve done mindfulness now for over 20 years. I do have to admit I don’t have any mental health problems. But it’s helped me immensely. Learning to trust that I can calm down at a moments notice. Remember how powerful the mind is. Look on the other side. Your mind has almost broken you down. Not good. But it can also be so powerful in the positive too. It can take you the other way. So try to think of how wonderful it can be in that respects too

I hope I’ve helped. Might of said it all wrong

Good luck

Yep.
I would contact the practice manager and explain what has happened. The P was totally disgraceful in her approach.
I would ask to see a different GP face to face to deal with nun managed anxiety and OCD.

The vaccine in some ways is not here nor there. Your reaction is more of a symptom of the heightened anxiety you have atm.
One that has calmed down then you will be able to take a decision on what to do with the vaccine.

@2bazookas

They’re really not comparable though.

I’ve done CBT in the past and i still have all of my
old notes.

The things I am anxious about now are nothing like my worries before.

Now I have a choice to make, be vaccinated and risk a blood clot.
Be partially vaccinated and live petrified of Covid and risk death.

@DreamingNow

One that has calmed down then you will be able to take a decision on what to do with the vaccine

The vaccine is the route of my anxiety 😥

I haven't read the whole thread but this is awful. You need to make a complaint about two issues:

1. The GP's attitude to a mental health problem
2. The fact you have requested another doctor and that was ignored

Appalling. Please make the complaint so you get the help you need.

[quote lollipop10]@2bazookas

They’re really not comparable though.

I’ve done CBT in the past and i still have all of my
old notes.

The things I am anxious about now are nothing like my worries before.

Now I have a choice to make, be vaccinated and risk a blood clot.
Be partially vaccinated and live petrified of Covid and risk death.[/quote]
That can’t be your only 2 choices?

What about all the other suggestions on this and your other threads. Even from drs?

You need to ring and speak to someone. Therapy. Medication.

So when you contacted the GP
Did you want to be referred for counselling
And / or increase in meds?

If I was the GP I'd be the same. Not to say that's the right approach but what exactly do you want her to do. Change doctors or complain.

[quote lollipop10]@Summerdayshaze

Yes, my best friend diet of a blood clot on her brain. She was only 21 at the time.
She fell at work and hit her head. Caused a blood clot and she died 😔[/quote]
Oh that’s dreadful. Is it blood clots specifically that you’re fixated on?

This does sound tough OP. I’m so sorry to hear what you are going through. Our doctors are hopeless and it’s lucky if you can even get through to them. If you can afford therapy I’d definitely look into that.
Also you need to put a complaint in as regards how you were spoken to at the doctors, that was just so dreadful.
I hope you get the help you need.

@Nocutenamesleft

That can’t be your only 2 choices?

But they are. I either have the vaccine or I accept
I’m housebound forever to avoid Covid.

@Summerdayshaze

No, just death in general.

Big hugs. I have had health anxiety and know how much it sucks. The risk of clots with the second dose is lower than with the first dose (which you had with no issues), plus the risk of clots is tiny to begin with. Less than with going on an airplane for example. I know this is easy for me to say, but the worry you are feeling is anxiety speaking, it is not about there being a risk proportionate to the worry you are feeling. However, if you want to try to think through the risks, then covid has a much higher risk of clots than does the vaccine, so logically you are better off having the second dose.