I’m so desperate to get better by my GP isn’t interested.

[lollipop10]

I’m suffering right now with severe anxiety.

Last year the pandemic triggered anxiety and OCD (I’ve suffered for a long time)

It was so severe that my husband couldn’t cope and he left me last year.

I got some medication and therapy and made some great Improvements.

However recently I’ve taken a huge turn again and I’m not coping.

I’m completely paralysed with fear about catching Covid and the result being death, and I’m also paralysed with fear about having my second AZ vaccine and the result being death because of a blood clot.

I called my GP last week and really didn’t find her supportive.

I’ve felt so utterly down since and have struggled to find a reason to want to be here anymore (I’m not suicidal)

Today I’ve called back as I’m not functioning, I’m
so fixated on my impending death either from Covid or the vaccine and I do not see a way out.

I asked the receptionist to speak with another Dr but unfortunately it was the same one who called me back.

I had a complete breakdown on the phone and the GP so abruptly just stopped me and said “I can’t understand you with all that whaling going on”...

I explained to her, again, how I’m feeling and she sighed and asked “what are you expecting me to do”.

I told her my mind is stuck in a repeat cycle of this worry and I literally cannot cope.
The Sertraline isn’t helping me and I feel like
I don’t want to be here, I want to just run as fast as I can and just keep running. (Not sure how else to explain how I feel)

Her response was “you’re being extremely silly about this, I’m guided by science, so much so that I’ve been happy for my own daughter to have the AstraZeneca vaccine. Take it or don’t, but don’t expect to be able to travel if you’re refusing the vaccine”

I hung up. I’m sat here absolutely sobbing and I don’t know where to turn to.

I’m so incredibly lonely and my last port of call for help was a GP who just wasn’t interested in the slightest and has made me feel so much worse.

I so so desperately want to get better, I just don’t know how. 😭

Your GPs reation was all the more terrible if she could see that you have OCD on your medical notes. I agree ADs are't always the best medication for it.
Your fears and thoughts are real ones but have taken over your life to a detrimental effect and this can be treated, as you know. Get back in touch with your therapist if you haven't already. And change doctor's!

Your GP handled it very badly, that’s for sure. My best friend is a GP though and listening to her, I can understand their side of it.

My friend is under massive stress. They have so many patients to see or talk to and many who are in desperate need to be referred urgently. She says that she also get many request to see/speak to patients experiencing anxiety with Covid and vaccination and she has run out of things to say/do to help.

She told me that the other day, she was on the phone with someone for 45 minutes because they were talking about suicide due to anxiety with vaccination. She then was late with all her other appointments and had to deal with patients moaning and complaining that she was late and they had other things to do. She was then 1 hour late to pick her her daughter at nursery and got told off then too.

She says that there is nothing she can do. There are no miracle cures. She sometimes prescribes Valium for a week or two but that doesn’t sort out the issue. She refers patients to CBT but it takes a fee weeks to be seen. Patients tell her off and she is totally exhausted and dreads speaking with these patients.

It is horrible and unacceptable the way that GP spoke to you though.

I’m sorry the GP was awful to you. She was unprofessional.

She’s probably under a lot of pressure at the moment and got frustrated because she didn’t know what you wanted from her. GPS are taking back to back calls plus face to face at the moment. Maybe next time have a plan eg ask to try a new medication, or ask to be referred to mental health services.

OP just sending you loads and loads of love; I have OCD too and my GP as a teenager was very similar to how you describe - she laughed, called me a nutter and told me never to tell another doctor as they’d have me committed . She’s long since retired thankfully - and I did tell another doctor at a different surgery, and received better help (medication and psychology) .. that was a good ten to fifteen years back and I’ve had two serious blimps since then .

I’m having therapy again just now, as I hit a bump in the road about two years ago - took a good two years to get an appointment sadly .

I’ve been told to see OCD like a diagnosis of diabetes or epilepsy or something (with no offence to anyone with those illnesses) . Like diabetes, it requires daily care and monitoring and medication - sometimes more days than others, and it can get better and it can get worse .

A big bit of it is managing the small things, so your self care, your exercise, eating well, avoiding alcohol and drugs, socialising with those you love, hobbies if you have .

Managing your checking and your reassurance - so I’ve been told it’s OK to check once with a credible source (a trusted GP, NHS 111, NHS website, patient UK, husband or wife, parent, sibling etc) .

Once you’ve had the once - you have to move away, and try to ‘accept’ that reassurance and this is where your self care again comes in, but you also bring in self soothing, so a hot bath, a walk, gardening, a funny film, loud music, hot chocolate or ice cold coke, stuff like that . Engage your five senses . Talk to people (not about the worry) . It’s called radical acceptance; there’s a lot online . I do stuff like reorder my spice jars or fold all my knickers or arrange pencils by colour - as a way of distracting my mind .

Eventually therapist says she wants me to expose myself to my fears in a controlled manner so for example I’m terrified of heights as I get an urge to jump (!) so I’d be supported to go to a height with someone I trust, or I’d be encouraged to meet a friend in a shopping centre (because high ceilings do it too) or something like that - all very gradual and exposed .

You can’t do that so easily with Covid - you don’t want to deliberately expose yourself to it - and I 100% understand that but I think some of the principles are the same . Especially checking once and then trying - it’s hard! - to move on .

The thing that upsets me the most and keeps me up is that my therapist told me I have to learn to live with uncertainty and doubt - if that makes sense . We can’t guarantee anything is safe or 100-% OK, we can say on all probability yes it probably is but none of us know - and no amount of GP appointments will get that certainty sadly . That’s definitely the hard part .

So - persevere because I do think you need therapy again, maybe a medication review - keep asking and talking and definitely complain and cry as much as you need to - because eff the GP thinking she can belittle you, I work in a patient facing role and that’s not on at all stress or no stress !!

If you’re in Scotland 111 have (pretty much) immediate access to mental health advisors so I’d try that too if not getting anywhere with GP . Also Facebook has some good groups, and OCD action, OCD U.K. .

I don’t know if any of this will help or make sense but you’re not alone

OP, can you get in touch with the practice manager and explain what is happening, and ask to speak to a GP with a special interest in MH (aka one who isn’t completely fucking useless with it)? That would be my first call. Then I would contact PALS.

Years ago I moved to London and signed up with a GP who treated me absolutely terribly - I ended up in hospital because he decided I didn’t need the medication i had been on for years.

I contacted PALS and they were amazing. They spoke to another practice, the practice manager selected the GP with the most knowledge of my condition and PALS filled her in. I transferred my care and went to see the new GP who already knew the situation and was extremely helpful to me for the next few years until she moved abroad, but she spoke to another in the practice who took over.

You’ve done so well reaching out and they’ve let you down. You’ve done nothing wrong and need some support and a GP who wants to help you. Please speak to the practice manager and also ask locally if anyone has a GP they would recommend. A good one makes all the difference

To echo others change gp. That is not how a mental health call should be going like. I had something similar recently and my doctor was patient, understanding and explained all the medical and therapy options I could try instead.
that gp is being an arse.

I have health anxiety and it can be so debilitating. I was very fearful of COVID during the first lockdown, but by the time restrictions were eased last summer, I was glad to have some normality.

When you’re stuck in the worry mindset, it’s very difficult to extricate yourself, I know. Your mind just keeps on flirting back to what ifs and worst case scenarios.

I don’t know if you’ve tried anything like this, but CBT is helpful for managing obsessive thoughts (which is what health anxiety is after all). It helped my daughter who was having intrusive thoughts when she started puberty and her hormones were all over the place. She was guided by a counsellor at school but we also had a workbook to do at home.

I think if you can allow yourself some time when you don’t have to worry about COVID/ the vaccine, and just say to yourself that you can go back to worrying after you’ve given yourself say, half an hour to enjoy a tv show or read a book. It’s about breaking the thought cycle.

Did you call your GP asking her to solve your vaccination dilemma? She can’t do that.

You need to present that actual situation. I’ve read a few of your threads and I think I’ve got a bit of the picture so I’m going to write a rough draft for you.

Your anxiety and obsessive thoughts have taken over.
You can’t seem to break the cycle.

You want a therapy as soon as possible.
You don’t think this medication/dose is therapeutic. Can we try something else?

What you are obsessive over is irrelevant. Asking the doctor to solve your question is clouding the real issue.

I wouldn’t call. I would make an appointment. I would also write down the real issue as a script. Either read it or hand it to the doctor if you can’t get through it. Tell the doctor that you know that you keep going off on this tangent and that it is illustrative of the problem and you want to fix the real illness.

www.nhs.uk/service-search/mental-health/find-an-urgent-mental-health-helpline

Sorry OP but you sound like you need to speak to someone soon and not be fobbed off by the GP system again.

Write down what your situation is and what you want to get out of the GP appointment beforehand, send it to the surgery and ask them to ask the GP to look at it before they phone you back. Emphasise that you don't want advice on the Covid jab, you want help with your MH.

Wow! What an absolute arsehole! Firstly I would be emailing a complaint to the surgery and asking to not have to speak to that GP again.

If they still won't let you speak to a different GP then is changing surgeries an option?

I'm so sorry you were treated like this. There are better GPs out there honestly.

I think the problem was that your trigger is also your GP's trigger! (as per posts upthread about GPs being frustrated/stressed/infuriated by vaccine deniers at the moment).
This response upthread was super-useful (to me at least!)

"If there really is no other way, can you try to speak to the same GP but don't mention the source of the anxiety so she doesn't get side tracked?! Try to just focus on the symptoms / effect it is having on you and your life.
If she directly asks - anxious about what you just say (as she should fucking well know!) "that's not the point, the point is I cannot function and feel paralysed by fear which is not normal. I think I need medication to try to break this destructive mental cycle"

Is there a local psychology (IAPT) service you can refer to for CBT?
Not acceptable

Would it help to try and turn this around and realise that those 2 things are hypothetical risks now, to you at least.

You had the first vaccine with no side effects. The risk of the second dose causing you harm is hypothetical. You were fine the first time. You'll be fine the next time.

The risk of you catching covid and dieing now really is hypothetical. You've has the vaccine. The vaccines are very good. If you did catch covid, you the vaccine means you wont become really sick, let alone die.

You've said you can usually talk yourself down but you cant see past the risks this time. Maybe give that another go.

Dont give up on asking for help. Push for a referral for CBT. Self refer if you can in your NHS trust. Keep trying for long term help. If you cant settle yourself over this for the next few weeks, can you afford to go private?

Her response was unacceptable, In your position I would most definitely change GP's. So sorry to hear you're struggling OP. Many of us here understand first hand.

Some good suggestions above:

Private if you can afford it
Self refer to IAPT if you can't

Some doctors are absolutely shocking with regards to their understanding of mental health. I once went to my GP with symptoms of depression - I have had episodes before (one very severe) and now try to manage it early, and wanted a referral to CBT. She reported me to safeguarding as our kids are adopted (fully and legally). I made a serious complaint as she had broken doctor patient confidentiality, received an apology and never saw that GP again. Ironically, you can self refer for CBT online so would have avoided all that.

Christ that's awful and is exactly the reason I haven't been open about my depression did you ever hear from SS?

I agree that the bedside manner was lacking - understandably, given the pressure on GPs - but what, realistically, do you expect her to say? That if you do x or take y, you will live forever?

What an awful response.

Had spells of anxiety over the last few years and the GPs I saw were very kind. I don't think they were always sure of how to help but that wasn't their fault.

Have you tried asking if you can speak to your local mental health team? Is there a mental health nurse at your GP surgery? Or try 111 and ask if they have details or can refer you to the mental health crisis team? If you ring 111 you should get to speak to a different doctor as they won’t be linked to your GP surgery?

I am sorry you are going through this. I have struggled with my own mental health crisis periods over the years and the crisis team had 24/7 helplines who were very good. It’s a starting point. Hope you have success getting through to someone more supportive.

@vivainsomnia

Your GP handled it very badly, that’s for sure. My best friend is a GP though and listening to her, I can understand their side of it.

My friend is under massive stress. They have so many patients to see or talk to and many who are in desperate need to be referred urgently. She says that she also get many request to see/speak to patients experiencing anxiety with Covid and vaccination and she has run out of things to say/do to help.

She told me that the other day, she was on the phone with someone for 45 minutes because they were talking about suicide due to anxiety with vaccination. She then was late with all her other appointments and had to deal with patients moaning and complaining that she was late and they had other things to do. She was then 1 hour late to pick her her daughter at nursery and got told off then too.

She says that there is nothing she can do. There are no miracle cures. She sometimes prescribes Valium for a week or two but that doesn’t sort out the issue. She refers patients to CBT but it takes a fee weeks to be seen. Patients tell her off and she is totally exhausted and dreads speaking with these patients.

It is horrible and unacceptable the way that GP spoke to you though.

Can totally sympathise with the GP too. Must be a nightmare as what can they do...

It’s obviously very difficult for there patients too, so all round carnage. It’s a shame for all those struggling.

The thing with your example about someone being suicidal, worrying about getting a clot with jab - presumably worried about the risk of dying from the clot.... that makes them feel suicidal?! It’s just all messed up and there needs to be something else available for these people.

I agree with @Castlepeak's advice. Write down how you're feeling/your symptoms in short sentences (bullet points perhaps) and end what you would like them to do for you - if you're not sure what would help, frame the final point as a question, something like :Given these symptoms, what treatments would you recommend?" Then make an appointment.

I agree that your GP was unsympathetic, but as PP's have said, she just doesn't have time for a convoluted conversation, she needs to know what your symptoms are and then refer you to a therapist if you need to discuss your concerns at length. It's rubbish for both doctors and patients that they don't have more time.

@katy1213

I agree that the bedside manner was lacking - understandably, given the pressure on GPs - but what, realistically, do you expect her to say? That if you do x or take y, you will live forever?

She probably expected the GP to do their job and try to treat her more effectively - change of medication, an additional medication short term to help with the severe anxiety, referrals etc.

If someone with hypothyroidism called their GP and said the medication doesn’t seem to be helping and my fatigue is awful and my hair is falling out, what would you expect that GP to do?

Personally, with a condition like OCD, or ANY mental health condition, I'd take out a credit card if necessary and see a psychiatrist privately. IME, GPs are just not qualified to adequately treat such conditions.

Awful attitude from her.
Sorry you have been left feeling so unsupported and let down.
Please contact the practice manager and log it as a complaint. They will be able to listen back to the call.

Have you got a number for the local mental health crisis line?
Call 111 if GP won't help or 999 if it's an emergency.
www.nhs.uk/mental-health/advice-for-life-situations-and-events/where-to-get-urgent-help-for-mental-health/

This sounds awful, especially if you believe she’s your last hope (she isn’t). I guess the problem is that you are going to die at some point. The anxiety comes from wishing otherwise.