I’m so desperate to get better by my GP isn’t interested.

[lollipop10]

I’m suffering right now with severe anxiety.

Last year the pandemic triggered anxiety and OCD (I’ve suffered for a long time)

It was so severe that my husband couldn’t cope and he left me last year.

I got some medication and therapy and made some great Improvements.

However recently I’ve taken a huge turn again and I’m not coping.

I’m completely paralysed with fear about catching Covid and the result being death, and I’m also paralysed with fear about having my second AZ vaccine and the result being death because of a blood clot.

I called my GP last week and really didn’t find her supportive.

I’ve felt so utterly down since and have struggled to find a reason to want to be here anymore (I’m not suicidal)

Today I’ve called back as I’m not functioning, I’m
so fixated on my impending death either from Covid or the vaccine and I do not see a way out.

I asked the receptionist to speak with another Dr but unfortunately it was the same one who called me back.

I had a complete breakdown on the phone and the GP so abruptly just stopped me and said “I can’t understand you with all that whaling going on”...

I explained to her, again, how I’m feeling and she sighed and asked “what are you expecting me to do”.

I told her my mind is stuck in a repeat cycle of this worry and I literally cannot cope.
The Sertraline isn’t helping me and I feel like
I don’t want to be here, I want to just run as fast as I can and just keep running. (Not sure how else to explain how I feel)

Her response was “you’re being extremely silly about this, I’m guided by science, so much so that I’ve been happy for my own daughter to have the AstraZeneca vaccine. Take it or don’t, but don’t expect to be able to travel if you’re refusing the vaccine”

I hung up. I’m sat here absolutely sobbing and I don’t know where to turn to.

I’m so incredibly lonely and my last port of call for help was a GP who just wasn’t interested in the slightest and has made me feel so much worse.

I so so desperately want to get better, I just don’t know how. 😭

Mental health services are stretched beyond belief.
I was struggling hard after Christmas. Called GP. Said I was suicidal and I knew how I’d do it. She wanted to know if was going to do it right then. No. So she prescribed me an antidepressant which I’ve not taken and sent me a link to mindfulness and sent me on my way.
That’s how it is. I’m not saying that’s how it should be, but there’s just nothing to send people to. Healthy minds have a wait around here of over 12 months and talking therapy isn’t always the answer anyway.
It’s a massive crisis generally. I felt bad calling my GP because I don’t really know what they can do. There’s absolutely nothing. I knew that before I rang but my mother made me call else said she would and then was horrified that the response was as long as you’re not about to harm yourself right now we aren’t going to get involved.

Sorry. I know that isn’t helpful. Paying is my only suggestion and even then it’s a mixed bag.

@katy1213

I agree that the bedside manner was lacking - understandably, given the pressure on GPs - but what, realistically, do you expect her to say? That if you do x or take y, you will live forever?

This is the third response that is basically 'what do you expect your GP to do?'

The GP spoke to someone who was clearly in mental distress... and told them they were being silly. Not good enough. I mean no where near good enough.

I would expect potentially a discussion about medication, and about referral to CBT/primary care mental health support services/possibly referral to secondary care as appropriate or available and signposting to voluntary sector services in the local area.

OP - your GP has reacted appallingly, and I think you would be justified in making a complaint.

Does your local mental health trust have a self referral IAPT service? Most do these days, and don't need a GP referral. They won't expect you to know what you want the doctor to do to make you feel better (because, that's not your job. You shouldn't be expected to know what is needed to make you feel better).

I'm sorry they were so dismissive.

@Librariesmakeshhhhappen

The risk of you catching covid and dieing now really is hypothetical. You've has the vaccine. The vaccines are very good. If you did catch covid, you the vaccine means you wont become really sick, let alone die.

But I’ve only had one and I’m coming up to 11 weeks now so the vaccine won’t be protecting me for much longer.

Hi OP, I am really sorry about this. Are you by any chance on the discussion board of some OCD charities (think of OCD UK or OCD Action, I forgot which one runs the boards). Perhaps others on these boards can give you some advise there.

One of the charities also runs a help line, so perhaps you can ask their staff for advise as well on how to navigate the situation with your GP. The difficult interaction with regular medics who are not very familiar with OCD and its many shapes and forms is something widely shared, so they probably have some suggestions on how to deal with this.

@wasthisapanicattack, what a horrendous first GP you had! I am so happy to read how you have turned it around.

Are you in a high risk group is that why it's worrying you so much?

I’m with Osbert. Seeing a private pysch has made me 100% better.

@BrownEyedGirl80

Are you in a high risk group is that why it's worrying you so much?

@BrownEyedGirl80

I have asthma and I’m overweight. 😔

Sorry, haven't read all the responses, but could you self-refer to a service such as www.iesohealth.com/en-gb if it's available in your area?

Hi @lollipop10

I really feel for you and I'm sorry your GP was crap.

On the AZ 2nd dose, somebody posted a brilliant tweet from a professor who had analysed the 1 in a million cases of clots from 2nd doses and he wasn't satisfied that ANY of them had actually been directly caused by the jab - I will see if I can find it....

Hi, apologies if it's been mentioned already.

Cal 111, option 2. It's specifically for mental health issues and you will get help straight away.

Found it!

threadreaderapp.com/thread/1396139927537176576.html

@davidrosejumper

Hi OP, I am really sorry about this. Are you by any chance on the discussion board of some OCD charities (think of OCD UK or OCD Action, I forgot which one runs the boards). Perhaps others on these boards can give you some advise there.

One of the charities also runs a help line, so perhaps you can ask their staff for advise as well on how to navigate the situation with your GP. The difficult interaction with regular medics who are not very familiar with OCD and its many shapes and forms is something widely shared, so they probably have some suggestions on how to deal with this.

@wasthisapanicattack, what a horrendous first GP you had! I am so happy to read how you have turned it around.

Thank you - she was an absolute horror yes, I was relieved when I discovered she’d retired as I suspect she’d shared those pearls of wisdom with many others before . I was enormously lucky to meet an absolutely wonderful GP within a couple of months (via uni medical practice) who was spot on with mental health and mental illness .

OCD’s a very hard hill to climb, I’ve had two horrendous breakdowns and even on a good day it’s still very present (my thoughts are always a bit troubling) but with the right support and therapy and medication it’s much more manageable . It’s bloody hard work though, I’m still at the stage where going out for a walk is a nightmare of endless intrusive thoughts and it’s daily practice - missing a day means I slip back quickly !

OP I think others have mentioned but you will have a crisis team in your area. Please get in touch with them. They will help you as it’s a miserable way to live. I have anxiety and depression so fully understand. One GP a few years ago told my husband he “didn’t look like he had “depression”.

Just asking again, can you afford to go private? Have you looked into private telecounselling with a psychiatrist?

If your thoughts are of self harm you should contact your local crisis team and/or present to your local A&E.

That’s awful !!
I haven’t been feeling myself recently I was lucky enough to have a face to face appointment pre booked and the dr I saw was absolutely amazing !!! I felt so much better knowing he has listened to me and went through all my worries .
I would ask to speak to another g.p big hugs 🤗 xx

[quote lollipop10]@Librariesmakeshhhhappen

The risk of you catching covid and dieing now really is hypothetical. You've has the vaccine. The vaccines are very good. If you did catch covid, you the vaccine means you wont become really sick, let alone die.

But I’ve only had one and I’m coming up to 11 weeks now so the vaccine won’t be protecting me for much longer.[/quote]
But that's not how vaccines work. Your body has now learned to recognise the virus and will make antibodies quicker than if you caught the virus pre-vaccine. Therefore the risk of you getting dangerously unwell or having to be hospitalised because of Covid is now vastly lower than it was before. The protection from the vaccine lasts longer than 12 weeks, and it will last longer still following your second jab. It's now been proven through trials that people have more effective, longer-lasting protection by having a bigger gap between their two vaccines, rather than the three week gap originally planned.

Is part of the issue that you are lonely and then when you went to tell your problems to the GP, that person didn't listen.
You are feeling that there is no-one there to care and to listen to you.
That's a thought that you can challenge as well.
Truth is, there are people who care. You are at this moment, safe and you are at this moment, loved. Look, you have people here on Mumsnet who care about you. That's because most human beings are quite nice, that's the reality.
Those are the facts whether your mind wants to believe them or not.
Your mind is scrabbling for certainty and control. And the best way that our minds find to 'control' the future is to predict a doomed future because for some reason that seems safer to our minds than a 'oh maybe it'll be fine. I've had one vaccine, chances are much higher that I won't get Covid'. Nope, instead I'll be absolutely CERTAIN I am doomed, that's much safer. But oh wait, now I'm very frightened! That's how that works...
This therapist below has some free videos on Youtube. Here's one about Black and White thinking that might help.

I suppose GPs can get a little impatient as they are dealing with desperately ill and genuinely dying young parents all the time, and would see angst over Covid and the vaccine as a bit OTT

Exercise really helps with anxiety, as does controlled breathing.

I used to have a mega phobia about vomiting and seeing others vomiting- so much so I seemed to attract vomiters like a pin gets attracted to a magnet.
I’ve had both AZ vaccines and the risk of blood clot is incredibly rare.

Being fearful is horrid, but I find taking oneself less seriously helps-

OP - report to the manager as a complaint and find a new surgery. Keep pushing, there will be a doctor for you, I promise. Xxx

Your GP sounds terrible. Can you make a complaint through PALS about her. I had a similar interaction with someone at my surgery and PALS were so helpful, I got an apology and now I don’t have to face that person again.

I really don’t know how some people have managed to become GPs. When my two eldest children were tiny I struggled with PND and severe anxiety, I became fixated on the fact that I was going to die and leave my kids without a mum. I went to a GP who told me matter of factly that most mums worry about their children and not themselves. It made me feel 100 times worse and I have never ever forgotten it. I would complain to the practice manager and demand that this GP never be involved in your care again.

You can self refer for therapy on the nhs website. That way you bypass the crappy gp.

Hi OP, you should be able to refer yourself for therapy without the GP

If your in Surrey it's Think Action, in West Sussex it's Time to Talk. Unsure what it's called in other counties though