Husband wants me to earn £1k per week

[MariaMackee]

DH and I both work for ourselves but have very different jobs. He owns a business and works long hours as you’d expect being a business owner.

I work part time providing a specialist service to clients (nothing untoward) and am paid by the hour. I currently bring home about £750 per week.

Because he works long hours I do the majority of the household chores which includes all laundry, food shopping and cooking. He does all the recycling, bins and maintains the garden. We also have two teenagers who are pretty good and self sufficient.

We are reasonably comfortable financially, but DH says we need to make as much money as possible so we can retire earlier and not have worry about money. I see his point but I am happy as I am and would have to do at least 5 more hours a week to make £1k.

It’s causing a bit of friction and I feel pressured, he says another 5 hours is not much, but I already feel exhausted with running the home and quite like having some time to myself.

AIBU or should I increase my hours to keep the peace?

You wouldn't be saying that if it was the other way round - OP being male.

Like so many others in this thread, too...

But the OP's husband isn't slugging it out at work because they're on the breadline. They're financially comfortable and the OP pulls her weight, both by bringing in money and by doing the housework. The OP's husband could choose to work fewer hours and do more around the house.

Instead, he's making a choice, on her behalf, that she should work more hours to fund his retirement and continue to do everything around the house. When he's not even willing to cook a meal every now and again...

There's perhaps a discussion to be had about relative workloads here, but it's a two-way discussion. The OP isn't an employee to be bossed about and she's entitled to have her priorities in life as well. And I can see why she'd be reluctant to work more hours on the orders of a husband who can't even put the bins out by himself. At this rate, she'll end up working well into her retirement and doing all the housework as well while her husband sits on his arse.

It adds even more of a dimension to it if your younger DC has ASD, as it makes stuff harder for you all. Especially as your oldest has some issues too. I have ADHD with autistic traits, so I can imagine.

This means you have to do more than the average mum, it's not really comparing like for like. Or at the very least, emotionally it's more draining, regardless of what you have to do.

@MariaMackee Make sure you do get enough rest and relaxation and recharge. x