To be shaking?

[PiedPiper558]

We have had our nanny for a month. She waited a good few weeks to start as things were up in the air with us.
She has been very accommodating, kids love her and been flexible. However, now the eldest has got into another school and it makes more sense to put her in the breakfast club. If the other kids get into the same school, we will do the same and put them into the club. DP told the kids this with nanny present this morning. Apparently she pulled him to one side, told him how wrong it was that he effectively told her she was on borrowed time with this job and that he had dealt with this insensitively and then stormed out. She's meant to be back this afternoon. She knows we are speaking tomorrow so must have known this was coming. What am I meant to do now? I feel really shaken up.

It seems like you have no self-awareness of what is appropriate and what isn't, which means she will justifiably never feel entirely trusting of your decision-making processes.

I hope your nanny finds a better employer elsewhere.

I really admire her for telling your husband how out of order he was and you are completely wrong to think she hasn't been treated badly.

So many people (women mainly, me included) would have meekly stood there and then cried on the way home.

You can't treat her like shit and expect her to still work for you willingly.

I owuld be really bloody angry if I were her too. Your idiot husband has shown her no respect by talking about this with the children in front of her. She should have had the conversation with you before you start discussing things in her presence that she is not fully up to to speed on.

What a terrible way to treat an employee. That is no different to me telling a member of my team that their hours are being cut in front of the rest of the staff. It is downright rude and very dismissive of her.

I hope she finds another job where she will be treated with a bit more respect;

So she waited weeks to start, has been in the role for a month and was this morning told in front of her charges that at best she will be working a lot less and at worst laid off. You’ve treated her appallingly and she’s the one who is probably scared and shaky about all this. You have no right to be. You also have no right to assume she saw it coming so it’s all fine. Firstly you treat people with dignity and discuss their working arrangements sensitively and not in front of others in the work environment. Secondly you don’t assume she knows what your talk tomorrow is all about. It could be a million and one things.

I am utterly shocked your making such a drama over your own (through your DH) poor behaviour.

@PiedPiper558

We will still need her after school so not letting her go entirely. I am speaking with her tomorrow to tell her we can only offer limited hours now so I was going to communicate all this with her. I'm guessing she thought that we would just put the kids in after school club if we are already using the breakfast club. But we have one at a different school so this is not a definite. I don't think she has been poorly treated. We are meeting to discuss this do must have seen it coming anyway. She was really angry apparently which is why I am feeling shakey.

Dont change the script now op.

You posted this on monday:

Had a nanny for about 5 weeks, she does the morning and after school care.Kids really like her and she has been reliable and caring.
Now my eldest granddaughter has a change of school (previously all grandkids went to the same) the logistics of this mean that it will actually be easier to put the kids in the before school club (at their respective schools and DP may be able to go into work later) and then the after school clubs where I can then pick them up at 6.15PM.
This then means of course, no need for the nanny expect we will have problems on inset days and days when we need a later finish (sometimes we need till 9PM). What would you do

@PhillipPhillop

You're only shaking because you might not have childcare today.

This 😂

I honestly can’t get my head round how badly some people will treat others. Just because they can.

Also, waiting for the deletion message soon, probably on the basis the thread gives too much personal info (aka the OP had their arse handed to them justifiably and is now tantrumming hard).

YABVVVU

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/a4253231-What-to-do-here?msgid=107628397#107628397

Ha @ZeroFuchsGiven I was just coming with that link!

You’re not very nice @PiedPiper558

This is another person’s livelihood, and you’re just messing them about.

Shaking, FFS!

Well do a bit of crying and spit your tea over the baby's head and you'll have a Mumsnet full house

Shaking ? get a grip.

@ZeroFuchsGiven Ooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. You win this thread.

Surely this is a reverse! No one would be this much of a dick the
Post about it looking for sympathy!

So are you mum or granny?
Or is this just a pile of goady bollocks?

@Ratatattatpat

I hope she doesn't return. How awful of you! I hope she didn't leave an existing job or turn down other work to work for you.

If this actually happened.

Probably did happen. Some people are just this stupid.

Bet she'd be annoyed if her boss announced they were cutting her hours in front of her colleagues.

You've treated her appallingly. She is a professional woman employed to do an important job... not some skivvy that you can pick up and drop when ever you want.

What would you do if your employer treated you the same?

I wonder if the 1% vote saying the OP is not unreasonable is the OP's vote themselves. No-one would think this was okay, surely?

@PiedPiper558

We will still need her after school so not letting her go entirely. I am speaking with her tomorrow to tell her we can only offer limited hours now so I was going to communicate all this with her. I'm guessing she thought that we would just put the kids in after school club if we are already using the breakfast club. But we have one at a different school so this is not a definite. I don't think she has been poorly treated. We are meeting to discuss this do must have seen it coming anyway. She was really angry apparently which is why I am feeling shakey.

I think she has been treated really badly - how insensitive and rude your husband was!

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah
Of course you ANBU , making her wait to start , reducing her hours out of the blue then still expect her to (maybe) look after your other children until you can get them into somewhere cheaper
The icing on the cake is offering her hours to look after your children after school
The woman should feel honored to work for you . You should suggest she starts paying you for the privilege

I think when families employ people to work in their homes, they often don’t consider it to be as formal/serious as being employed by a company/work outside of the domestic environment.

In reality, those employees have bills to pay and responsibilities and rely on their wage and stability of employment as much as anyone else.

I have always erred on the side of generosity. I think you are very focused on your own situation OP and have lost sight of the human being you are dealing with.

This then means of course, no need for the nanny expect we will have problems on inset days and days when we need a later finish (sometimes we need till 9PM). What would you do

You need an occasional babysitter, not a professional nanny. I hope she tells you where to stick your ad hoc handful of hours and finds herself a decent family to work for.

OP, do the right thing and make sure you give her plenty of notice to find something suitable for September. And remember you’re an employer - you have to bear this in mind or you’ll find yourself at a tribunal if you’re not careful.

Echoing the majority of posters here, but you're shaken up?! My eyes are in danger of rolling out of my head here.

Round of applause for @zerofuchsgiven 👏🏻 you win. Love it!