To be shaking?

[PiedPiper558]

We have had our nanny for a month. She waited a good few weeks to start as things were up in the air with us.
She has been very accommodating, kids love her and been flexible. However, now the eldest has got into another school and it makes more sense to put her in the breakfast club. If the other kids get into the same school, we will do the same and put them into the club. DP told the kids this with nanny present this morning. Apparently she pulled him to one side, told him how wrong it was that he effectively told her she was on borrowed time with this job and that he had dealt with this insensitively and then stormed out. She's meant to be back this afternoon. She knows we are speaking tomorrow so must have known this was coming. What am I meant to do now? I feel really shaken up.

Hope she tells you both to get fucked.

Lol. Imagine your job, you chose one with a salary that can pay your bills, you got hired, then waited to actually begin work so you could start getting paid, then got told a month in that actually, your hours are changing.

How would that make you feel?

What a ridiculously self absorbed post, op .
Shaking, my arse. You need a good shake.

You and your husband are entirely in the wrong. You handled this spectacularly badly.
You're only shaking because you're one of those CF who never gets called out on their shitty treatment of others, but today you were.

All this, "she should have seen this coming" is bullshit. She's only just started. She isnt going to see her sacking coming. You've handled this so so badly.

I hope you pay up with a decent redundancy payment for her.

If the OP was shaking when she learned the nanny was angry, having read all our righteous indignation she will be positively convulsing by now.

So, to be clear:

• You hired a nanny knowing you wanted her temporarily but told her it was permanent.
• You messed her around and delayed her start date.
• You gave her a hard time because your 8yo doesn't like carrying her own schoolbag.
• You allowed your 8yo to tantrum and scowl at your employee.
• You continued to look for alternative childcare without telling the nanny.
• You secured alternative childcare and, instead of speaking to your nanny professionally, your DP told someone else within earshot of your nanny.
• You weren't even there but you're "shaking".

I hope she takes you to tribunal tbh.

The other threads are eye opening.

You lied. To the nanny. You never intended her to be a permanent role. If your daughter has had an operation then how long are you having the kids for?

You’ve been awful and I hope your nanny finds a job where she is properly treated and doesn’t come back to you.

Crikey I hope the Nannie is ok ....your behaviour towards her is truly shocking and even more shocking that you cannot see it ! Think she has dodged a bullet!

I feel like this might be a wind up post especially with the ops name ‘pied piper’ hmmm..
If it’s not the pair of them are just idiots I feel sorry for their kids if they treat them with the same respect..

You should have told her that you're reducing her hours, before informing the children. She may be looking for another full time job now, as part time may not be financially enough for her.

I suspect you’re feeling “shakey” because you know you and your husband have treated her appallingly and don’t want to face her (rightful) backlash tomorrow. Grow a pair, own up to your failures and learn how to communicate with your employees.

nothing anyone says here will make a difference to someone so utterly self-centred and no awareness of how to treat others decently.

Echoing others, you have no right to feel shaky, but your nanny is completely right that you and your DP are out of order.

I hope she gets another job with nicer people.

Some people shouldn't have dogs. Some people shouldn't have children. And some people really shouldn't have staff.

Goodness. Your DH was VERY wrong to handle the situation the way he did. You should sit her down today and explain the situation to her. Why are you waiting now she knows something is up?

And yes. You absolutely should be shaking. With shame and regret.

I'm bored now OP

She has every right to be angry with you, it's nothing less than completely deserved if she's hostile towards you when you have your meeting with her.

I’ve employed a nanny for 7 years and would NEVER do this. A) it’s massively inappropriate to infer that you’re changing her hours to a third party, and b) unsettling for the children to give them a ‘what if’

You handled this badly and the nanny would be entirely within her rights to walk out

OP is the granny, as evidence in this link a pp posted above, but reposting for ease:

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/thirty_days_only/4237570-What-to-do-here

Oh I do love it when there’s a landslide vote.

At least 1% of people are on your side, OP

Those of us who are lucky enough to be able to employ people in our homes, especially to care for our children, need to always be mindful of the immense privilege we have. I don’t just mean the economic privilege, I mean that someone is willing to do these very difficult jobs for us. There may be more training and specialty skills involved in the careers that allow us to pay (or possibly stretch out budgets to the limit) these workers, but very often our jobs are simply less exhausting then theirs.

Most importantly, you need to be mindful that this is how your nanny pays her bills. She very likely had less of a cushion built up than you. Threatening her hours, especially in front of the children is simply cruel. Blithely cutting her hours and pay is unreasonable and means she will immediately have to begin searching for a new job, even if she pretends to agree to the change.

It is also entirely possible that you won’t have a nanny at the next shift. The truth is that you need her more than she needs you. There are other low-wage jobs available.

Good for her, sounds like she's been messed about enough by you.

@MoesBar

I hope she doesn’t come back

I hope she does, if only to tell the OP how disgusting she and her husband are as employers.

No one could blame her.