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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be shaking?

333 replies

PiedPiper558 · 27/05/2021 10:53

We have had our nanny for a month. She waited a good few weeks to start as things were up in the air with us.
She has been very accommodating, kids love her and been flexible. However, now the eldest has got into another school and it makes more sense to put her in the breakfast club. If the other kids get into the same school, we will do the same and put them into the club. DP told the kids this with nanny present this morning. Apparently she pulled him to one side, told him how wrong it was that he effectively told her she was on borrowed time with this job and that he had dealt with this insensitively and then stormed out. She's meant to be back this afternoon. She knows we are speaking tomorrow so must have known this was coming. What am I meant to do now? I feel really shaken up.

OP posts:
bloodyhell19 · 27/05/2021 20:10

Oh my heart bleeds for you OP Hmm

Shaking after that? Imagine if you had been messed around by employers and then told after ONE month that there was basically no need for you but they may or may not throw you a few hours after school...

OP you really are quite dense if you can't understand the problem with this. Either that, or you expect "the help" to say how high when you say jump.

I do hope the nanny sacks you & DP. Truly.

ShellieEllie · 27/05/2021 20:34

I hope she doesn't come back! You've treated her appallingly and your complete lack of empathy towards her is astonishing.

Treemama · 27/05/2021 20:46

I hope she gets a good job soon and you can take your reduced hours offer and stick it where the sun doesn't shine!!!

AccidentallyOnPurpose · 27/05/2021 20:59

Have you tried turning her off and on again? She's not working properly and it's obvious you don't think she deserves to be treated with decency and respect/like a human being.

cocoloco987 · 27/05/2021 21:00

I'd expect the nanny to possibly be shaking - she's not BU to do so. Not really sure why you are though

gurglebelly · 27/05/2021 21:14

Yes you are really being unreasonable. What your husband did was appalling, and you need to get over yourself, she is the one that has been treated badly not you. Shaking, ffs what a drama queen

SheldonesqueTheBstard · 27/05/2021 21:23

Is this nanny for your kids or your grandkids?

If the latter, then I’m presuming you made it clear - through the shaking - that the post was temporary?

Or is my Norland being yanked?

Babbly · 27/05/2021 21:26

@SheldonesqueTheBstard

Is this nanny for your kids or your grandkids?

If the latter, then I’m presuming you made it clear - through the shaking - that the post was temporary?

Or is my Norland being yanked?

OP said on another post that the position was temporary but told the nanny it was permanent.
SheldonesqueTheBstard · 27/05/2021 21:33

Thank you babbly

I truly cannot believe someone would treat someone like this.

And I think I’m a b’stard…

I aint if this is the benchmark.

Nomoreporridge · 27/05/2021 21:59

I can’t believe your update! It is jaw dropping.

You don’t see anything wrong with casually dropping her hours? And you go onto say you’re thinking of dropping her completely? You don’t see anything wrong with this?

I’m guessing you never told her this was a temporary appointment. I struggle to believe you’ve ever been employed in a workplace if you think this is an acceptable way to treat an employee.

Oh and the best not about this post...you are able to tell everyone on mumsnet, but still haven’t told her!

Moelwynbach · 27/05/2021 22:18

I hope she finds another job, tells her nanny colleagues what she has gone through and leaves you high and dry. I hope she finds a new family to work for.

marmitegirl01 · 27/05/2021 22:56

Did she buy some pipe cleaners and then take them home??
You were shaking ffs

Mydogdoesntlisten · 27/05/2021 23:04

This has to be a wind up, surely? I hope it's not true.

DipSwimSwoosh · 27/05/2021 23:18

Shake it like a Polaroid picture.

JemimaJoy · 27/05/2021 23:33

Sounds like you've really messed her around. I'd not be coming back if I were her

BadLad · 28/05/2021 00:01

Is your DP David Brent?

Thedogscollar · 28/05/2021 00:11

@PiedPiper558
If you think this is even remotely normal and how you would treat an employee then you are a disgrace with zero self awareness.
You are also a coward.

Carbara · 28/05/2021 00:49

OP/‘granny’ not bothered coming back? What a shit employer her and her boyfriend are. The audacity of employers still treating humans as disposable in 2021. Vile.

user1473878824 · 28/05/2021 02:01

OP, you haven’t come back to this thread after your second reply, but you and your husband are not coming across as nice people.

Susannahmoody · 28/05/2021 02:04

Nanny dodged a bullet then

Midcenturymodmum · 28/05/2021 02:12

Oh look another shitty employer . You have treated her pretty appallingly .Are you shaking because "The Help" stood up for herself ?

TheVoiceInMyHead · 28/05/2021 02:27

Sorry OP but I'm with the nanny on this one.

Poorlykitten · 28/05/2021 03:02

Hope the nanny leaves and finds decent employers.

Furries · 28/05/2021 03:17

Was going to type a detailed response, but the vote told me to not waste my time.

All I’ll say is - would be much better to have respect and decency towards those that provide a service to make our lives easier. And that sentiment covers a very large section of society.

SympathyFatigue · 28/05/2021 03:59

@PiedPiper558

We will still need her after school so not letting her go entirely. I am speaking with her tomorrow to tell her we can only offer limited hours now so I was going to communicate all this with her. I'm guessing she thought that we would just put the kids in after school club if we are already using the breakfast club. But we have one at a different school so this is not a definite. I don't think she has been poorly treated. We are meeting to discuss this do must have seen it coming anyway. She was really angry apparently which is why I am feeling shakey.
She has been badly treated. Your husband announced new working arrangements to her with your children present. He didn't need to do that. Hardly fun for her is it? Being given a job then late start, then oh you'll not be needed for mornings soon. Not one of you has acted like an appropriate person here. Have a proper meeting and apologise, I'd be off if I was her, crappy employers can get stuffed.
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