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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be shaking?

333 replies

PiedPiper558 · 27/05/2021 10:53

We have had our nanny for a month. She waited a good few weeks to start as things were up in the air with us.
She has been very accommodating, kids love her and been flexible. However, now the eldest has got into another school and it makes more sense to put her in the breakfast club. If the other kids get into the same school, we will do the same and put them into the club. DP told the kids this with nanny present this morning. Apparently she pulled him to one side, told him how wrong it was that he effectively told her she was on borrowed time with this job and that he had dealt with this insensitively and then stormed out. She's meant to be back this afternoon. She knows we are speaking tomorrow so must have known this was coming. What am I meant to do now? I feel really shaken up.

OP posts:
GlamGiraffe · 27/05/2021 13:08

@PiedPiper558

So to clarfy you will be continuing to pay the nanny her wage for the full hours she was originally employed for if the children change schools wont you?

You will be paying a really decent noticed period, of say 3 months, wont you?
Considering the deceitful, unprofessional and incredibly disrespectful way you you have treated the nanny this is the least you should be doing. You seem to have entirely disregarded the fact you are playing with another person's livelihood, your pretence has prevented them getting a secure long term job which enabled them to have financial security that everyone needs to be able to pay for minimum basics like keeping a roof over their heads.
This isn't about you. Get some perspective about the real world

Giantrooster · 27/05/2021 13:08

I'm really concerned here, if you are truly shaking please book a gp appointment, doesn't sound healthy Grin.

Serpenta · 27/05/2021 13:10

That's good to hear, @AFS1. I'm sure there are lots of nice employers like you but it seems to be a sector where a significant number of employers get high on the power they have over 'domestic staff'. I'm sure the nannies equivalent of Mumsnet must see some humdinger stories posted!

Brefugee · 27/05/2021 13:14

*22edwinbear

We haven't treated the nanny poorly. She will be told if she is no longer needed although she has probably guessed this is now the case*

I hope she finds a new lovely job quickly and leaves you and your horrible DH in the lurch. You are appalling employers. I also hope you're not teaching your children the same dickish behavior.

If I were the nanny I'd come back for long enough to teach your kids loads of bad swear words. Grin

MolyHolyGuacamole · 27/05/2021 13:17

@helpmechoosewheretolive

I'd pop to the Sistine Chapel on your way home, OP, just to get all your emotions out.
Screaming
jesusmaryjosephandtheweedonkey · 27/05/2021 13:36

You are an appalling employer op.
I hope your nanny tells you to stick your shitty job

sillylittlesausage · 27/05/2021 13:40

Wow. Out nanny was treated as part of our family. She looked after the most precious things in our life after all! One thing is for certain you don't upset your nanny while they're still caring for your dc surely?

Poor lady. Good for her sticking up for herself. You all sound a little entitled and presumptuous that she can just go off and find another family should things not work out with you. Hope you're shaking your way to your phone to apologise

mainsfed · 27/05/2021 14:05

This has to be a reverse, no one could be this deluded.

Yokey · 27/05/2021 14:11

You know she's a human being, right? With rights, feelings and bills to pay? If this situation makes you shake, spare a moment to consider how this poor nanny feels having her livelihood threatened and disregarded in such a disrespectful and thoughtless manner.

MrsAudreyAlfredRobertsOBEHmm · 27/05/2021 14:12

I don't believe a word of it
Absolute rubbish

Bluntness100 · 27/05/2021 14:26

She will be told if she is no longer needed although she has probably guessed this is now the case

Why would she have to guess, your partner basically told the kids in front of her. No guessing required.

Will you come back op?

IHopeYouStepOnALegoPiece · 27/05/2021 14:26

@mainsfed

This has to be a reverse, no one could be this deluded.
Unfortunately I absolutely promise you they are.

I’m a nanny and I was treated similarly by an employer 2y ago. Like this op, she’s lacked any common decency and had no respect for me.

OP. Have some fucking respect. Your behaviour and attitude is disgraceful. And shaking? You should be shaking in anger at your fuckwit DP for being a fucking idiot and I’m a get at yourself for being a dickhead

IHopeYouStepOnALegoPiece · 27/05/2021 14:28

Oh and the nanny community is tight. Your name will be completely trodden on, and nannies will tell their families about how you treated her...which will get back to any future nannies.

So have fun finding someone else

Toddlerteaplease · 27/05/2021 14:28

If I was the nanny I wouldn't be coming back. You've treated her very badly.

ZeroFuchsGiven · 27/05/2021 14:33

@IHopeYouStepOnALegoPiece

Oh and the nanny community is tight. Your name will be completely trodden on, and nannies will tell their families about how you treated her...which will get back to any future nannies.

So have fun finding someone else

I was wondering about that, I can imagine it is quite a tight knit community.
Fuckitfuckit · 27/05/2021 14:36

are you in the right to feel shaky? Hahaha this lady takes care of your children. You trust her to keep them safe, and treat them fairly? And you treat her this way?

Your husband effectively slashes her work with you in half, and she becomes aware of this infront of your children? That is incredibly insensitive of him.

The two of you are self involved selfish fuckers who shouldn't be employing people if this is how you think you treat them, and"we have a meeting, she must have seen this coming!" Complete and utter bollocks that you seem to think gets you out of treating your Nanny this way.
It's a good job that she has a backbone when it comes to dealing with people like your family.
Absolutely disgusting way to treat somebody. She deserves better.

LakieLady · 27/05/2021 14:37

Wow, how mean of you and how crass is your DH.

I hope the nanny gets a nice job with a lovely family who will appreciate her, and not piss her about and then treat her like shit.

And I hope she doesn't bother coming back tomorrow. I bloody wouldn't if I were her.

LadyJaye · 27/05/2021 14:43

I think we've accepted that the OP isn't coming back, but I'm genuinely curious to hear from the 1% that has voted YANBU...

Jourdain11 · 27/05/2021 14:43

What's the deal with the screaming in the Sistine chapel? I feel that I must be missing something...!

shouldistop · 27/05/2021 14:45

Imagine you were at your work and at a staff meeting your boss announced to the other staff that they'd only be employing you for half of your contracted hours in the near future without telling you first.

TurquoiseDragon · 27/05/2021 14:54

@Jourdain11

What's the deal with the screaming in the Sistine chapel? I feel that I must be missing something...!
Have a look in Classics.There's a thread worth reading.
SheldonesqueTheBstard · 27/05/2021 14:54

I am speaking with her tomorrow to tell her we can only offer limited hours now so I was going to communicate all this with her.

I’m sure she is going to bang her chin off the floor while tugging at her forelock with this generous nugget.

No need to shake cherub. Everything sounds as though it is going to be peachy.

‘Sake.

You wouldn’t see me for dust tomorrow. And your name would be made mud in nannying circles.

Timper · 27/05/2021 15:00

Are you still shaking? Maybe that’s why you haven’t come back to the thread?

Fuckitfuckit · 27/05/2021 15:00

@shouldistop

Imagine you were at your work and at a staff meeting your boss announced to the other staff that they'd only be employing you for half of your contracted hours in the near future without telling you first.
Imagine OPs reaction if her or her husband were treated this way!
TheMNChicken · 27/05/2021 15:06

In this unlikely event that this actually happens, I hope the only reason she turns up for this "talk" tomorrow is to tell you to shove your job right up your arse.