To not be concerned about DDs occasional drug use?

[saltyskies8]

DD is 27, living in the city as a single professional and has a fantastic social life (in normal times!). We are very close and have the sort of relationship where she feels able to tell me about most things I'd say. Since moving to the city for work a couple of years ago, she's openly told me that her and her friends will occasionally use cocaine or MDMA on nights out or in and that it's very much normal amongst everyone she knows there. DD is otherwise very fit and healthy and personally, I see her drug use as entirely normal for someone of her age group who is young, single and enjoying life in the city.

DH and I got talking last night after watching a series on bbc3 about drug use and I mentioned DDs recreational drug use, which he was not previously aware of. DH is highly concerned and has accused me of being irresponsible for not being concerned about her health and advising she seeks help. I explained my view that most people in their 20s living in the city are doing this and he believes I'm completely deluded and DD has a problem.

I'm genuinely interested to know others thoughts on this? AIBU in not being worried about drug use at this stage in DDs life?

FYI I completely appreciate there are ethical issues in terms of gang crime, county lines etc. but DD and her friends are already well aware of this and I'd rather focus on the health aspect of this for the purpose of this thread :)

I really deplore people who think drug use is acceptable.
Is she not aware that she is indirectly helping gangs responsible for all sorts of crimes? Including murder, stabbing, money laundering?
If there weren’t so many ignorant people taking drugs we won’t have half of the problems we have in society.

If it was a bit of dope I'd probably agree with you, but the potential for something going wrong when someone does coke or MDMA is so much higher that yes, as a parent, I'd be worried.

She's 27, how has she not heard of BLM?

@saltyskies8 - clearly it is normal for your dd and her friends. It is not normal for all 20-something year olds, though, and her telling you about it and telling you she doesn’t have a problem doesn’t actually make her any less likely to end up, or already be, a drug addict, does it? If she takes the stuff socially, she is part of a group of people out of which some will develop a drug problem and there is nothing you can do to stop that if she is silly enough to want to take the risks of illegal, selfish (in terms of harm done as a result of criminal activity) drug taking. All you can do is be there to support her if she fucks everything up.

I think it’s pretty usual. I’m in my 50’s and it was the same when I was in my 20’s. Everyone I knew were taking E’s or LSD on a night out.

Saying that I would be a bit concerned. There’s so much crap out there mixed with god knows what. I don’t, however, think you’re deluded.

In my social group at uni recreational drug users were probably 50/50 but when I worked in the city, almost all did (possibly some beyond the term recreational). However, of those I have kept in touch with, all have the sort of careers/family life etc that would be considered by many to have made a success. I don’t think any of them still take drugs or did beyond their 30s. However, it’s still not something I would want for my children and it’s a huge waste of money.

Thr thing is for it to be acceptable to the op she needs to think it’s normal. Becayse who wants to think your daughter is a druggie who hangs with other druggies and gets off their faces.

But she's not like those druggies (she thinks).

This thread is appalling.

It’s essentially a drug pushing thread, the sort of thing that leads people into addiction in the first place, “oh, it’s normal, everyone does it.” No, it isn’t and no, they don’t.

Had a pretty wild time aged 17-24. No drugs other than weed about twice. It wasn’t normal amongst anyone I knew and the ones that did it were considered smack heads and pitied tbh.

So no OP I don’t think MDMA and Coke is normal. Those are serious drugs that can, if they come from a dodgy source (which your DD has no way of knowing), kill easily & at any point without warning.

You and your daughter might like to ignore the ethical issues but that doesn't mean your daughter isn't contributing to gang violence, women being raped etc

I sometimes think casual users like your daughter are worse than addicts. They have the knowledge to know the wider societal damage but they just don't give a shit.

[quote Taliskerskye]@CovidCorvid
What like hang around on mumsnet [/quote]
I'm a long way off 27yo and anyway I'm at work and it helps pass the time

I'll be really disappointed and ashamed if any of my kids think drugs are acceptable and normal when they're older. Drug use contributes to a horrendous industry that exploits and endangers so many people. You sound sort of proud of it, like you think its a bit cool.

I hate to break it to you but this isn’t ‘normal’ behaviour for young people living in the city. You seem incredibly naive about this. I’m not saying there is anything you can do to stop her as she is a grown adult. But you seem to be trying to excuse this behaviour. It’s not normal.

I think it’s pretty usual. I’m in my 50’s and it was the same when I was in my 20’s.

Have times not moved on though? I mean my parents generation thought drink driving was ok & seatbelts were optional.

My main problem with a standard anti drugs stance, is people who will drink to excess on a regular basis but be holier than thou in relation to "illegal" drugs.

I really can't believe you think this is in any way normal. It never has been! Even smoking is now abnormal - only 15% of the adult population, and that is skewed towards the older generations.

@MacCoffee

Had a pretty wild time aged 17-24. No drugs other than weed about twice. It wasn’t normal amongst anyone I knew and the ones that did it were considered smack heads and pitied tbh.

So no OP I don’t think MDMA and Coke is normal. Those are serious drugs that can, if they come from a dodgy source (which your DD has no way of knowing), kill easily & at any point without warning.

Can I ask did you live on a city or town?

I remember working in London when younger and it wasn’t the odd group of friends. It wasn’t unusual after work.

Some sectors seem to have it more.

Not that I want my dc to get into it and wouldn’t condone it. Just some posts make it sound like a different experience to mine

Incidentally, welcome to mumsnet.

In complete agreement with your husband. Its not normal, is illegal and dangerous and I'd be worried about my daughter. I get teens trying drugs I did too, but in their late 20s I think it's pathetic.

@Blankspace101

I hate to break it to you but this isn’t ‘normal’ behaviour for young people living in the city. You seem incredibly naive about this. I’m not saying there is anything you can do to stop her as she is a grown adult. But you seem to be trying to excuse this behaviour. It’s not normal.

It is a lot more normal than you think

@OnlyInYourDreams

This thread is appalling.

It’s essentially a drug pushing thread, the sort of thing that leads people into addiction in the first place, “oh, it’s normal, everyone does it.” No, it isn’t and no, they don’t.

YES! THIS!!

Also I loathe weed as much as any other drug and hope they don’t get into that.

Yep.

Yes it’s illegal but I would say that the police are interested in dealers not recreational users who are otherwise model citizens.

They should pay more attention to the users even if it's just to stop County Lines type activity which is made worse by people using recreationally.

I don’t think it is normal. I’m around your DD’s age and out of a flat of 23 when I was at uni, only 3 people had done anything more than weed. And most hadn’t even done weed.