To not be concerned about DDs occasional drug use?

[saltyskies8]

DD is 27, living in the city as a single professional and has a fantastic social life (in normal times!). We are very close and have the sort of relationship where she feels able to tell me about most things I'd say. Since moving to the city for work a couple of years ago, she's openly told me that her and her friends will occasionally use cocaine or MDMA on nights out or in and that it's very much normal amongst everyone she knows there. DD is otherwise very fit and healthy and personally, I see her drug use as entirely normal for someone of her age group who is young, single and enjoying life in the city.

DH and I got talking last night after watching a series on bbc3 about drug use and I mentioned DDs recreational drug use, which he was not previously aware of. DH is highly concerned and has accused me of being irresponsible for not being concerned about her health and advising she seeks help. I explained my view that most people in their 20s living in the city are doing this and he believes I'm completely deluded and DD has a problem.

I'm genuinely interested to know others thoughts on this? AIBU in not being worried about drug use at this stage in DDs life?

FYI I completely appreciate there are ethical issues in terms of gang crime, county lines etc. but DD and her friends are already well aware of this and I'd rather focus on the health aspect of this for the purpose of this thread :)

@Coldwine75
I dont know any 'drug users' i know perfectly respectable people who take coke sometimes and smoke weed, big difference

I take drugs occasionally, and would certainly identify as a drug user. Why try to obfuscate matters by avoiding the honest and accurate label?

I was thinking that so many posters / their children mustn't have jobs where drug testing occurs DdraigGoch.

@NewPanDrawer I don't understand it, is it because they look down on "drug users"?

@Coldwine75 aah come on 😂 they use drugs - they are drug users. You may think they are "above" the heroine addicts on the streets but they are all drug users. I smoked weed a few of times as a teen, I was a drug user. You seem to think that because people come from nice families and have a bit of money then their drug use has no ramifications at all. Druggies are druggies, if you don't want to be a druggie then don't take drugs 🤷‍♀️

@bomg

Irregular verb:

I enjoy occasional recreational drugs in a sophisticated social setting

You are a sketchy drug user with a problem - grim!

She is a hideous addicted shell of a woman (and all her kids have SEN)

Oh the snobby drug users make me laugh.

@bombg

I dont know any 'drug users' i know perfectly respectable people who take coke sometimes and smoke weed, big difference

What has respectable got to do with it? Are the people who @Shelovesamystery not respectable in your eyes?

These people are outwardly very respectable, nice families, nice jobs, nice houses etc. They used to take drugs in nice wine bar toilets when it was occasional, now it's grotty pub toilets because they can't afford the wine bars any more.

@NewPanDrawer 😁

@Shelovesamystery I'm intrigued as to why @Coldwine75 thinks they are less respectable? When the drugs impact your personal or professional life does that make you less respectable? Or when you can't afford the nice wine bar, is that the tipping point?

[quote bombg]**@Shelovesamystery* I'm intrigued as to why @Coldwine75* thinks they are less respectable? When the drugs impact your personal or professional life does that make you less respectable? Or when you can't afford the nice wine bar, is that the tipping point? [/quote]
Possibly. As far as I'm concerned the middle class mum doing coke on her friend's expensive sofa is no different from the bloke on jobseekers doing coke in his mates council flat. If you take drugs then you're a drug user. It's not something I approve of and I'd be really concerned if one of my dc's got into drugs. But I don't hate people who take drugs, I just think it's not a sensible or morally right thing to do.

OP, throughout my twenties, when I was in a similar stage of life to your DD, I enjoyed using recreational drugs on regular nights out in London and Oxford, did uni, held down a full time job and maintained great relationships with my family. I never told my Mum though so not to worry her. Early 40s now, married with kids, job, house and all is well. I haven't touched drugs for 10 years but had a great time in my twenties.

Just because a lot of people are doing it doenst make it NORMAL..it's bloody dangerous for her health..

I know plenty of people who take drugs occasionally, their kids are fine. I know plenty of kids who are not fine too, parents don't take drugs occasionally or safely .. They don't take drugs at all! But do plenty of other harmful things. Know very few "addicts" (outdated term in the drug treatment world by the way)... Most people take drugs happily, for enjoyment, with few harmful effects aside from the comedown .

A hangover is a million times worse

@Turkishangora

I know plenty of people who take drugs occasionally, their kids are fine. I know plenty of kids who are not fine too, parents don't take drugs occasionally or safely .. They don't take drugs at all! But do plenty of other harmful things. Know very few "addicts" (outdated term in the drug treatment world by the way)... Most people take drugs happily, for enjoyment, with few harmful effects aside from the comedown .

Bet they wouldn't be enjoying it so much if it was their kids being forced to deal drugs. But hey ho, as long as they're having fun eh

Yes I think it's very usual from18 to late 20s. MDMA, Ket, cocaine and weed. Particularly amongst students, clubbers and young professionals. In normal times clubs are open till 5am - how else are the young people staying up that late? And yes I think a lot of parents are deluding themselves about it too.

I would t encourage it but I'm realistic. I knew a lot of people who did a ton of drugs when I was that age. I didn't but then I have a different drug of choice - alcohol - that happens to be legal.

OP, I would worried about the health aspect in your shoes. Pharmaceutical drugs have really stringent regulations for manufacturing and testing. With illegal drugs you have little in the way of assurance of the quality. Amongst my cohort of 80s raver friends, a disproportionate number now suffer ill health or have died in their 40s and 50s. I can’t say for sure if it’s the drugs but I wonder if it’s linked.

I'm 25 and most people I know take cocaine at nightclubs or bars. MDMA at clubs and raves.

Psychedelics are my favourite personally, although they aren't really "night out" material.

Tbh, I am for the legalisation of drugs anyway.

Cocaine kills. Its growth, refinement, and distribution involve evil drug cartels who treat others with incredible and casual cruelty. Using cocaine can cause severe neurological damage. This can lead to tragedy.

Your daughter needs to attend Narcotics Anonymous and seek professional help. Private therapists can seem affordable once you give up the drug.
I have friends who burnt out in their late twenties due to drug use. She needs to stop yesterday.

her and her friends will occasionally use cocaine or MDMA on nights out

Your daughter needs to attend Narcotics Anonymous and seek professional help.

Don't be so ridiculous! NA meetings would need to take place in Wembley Stadium.

[quote Runway]@AndroidsAliensAndWizards you do know Leah Betts died because she drank 32 pints of water and not because of ecstasy don’t you? The government banned health agencies from giving advice on how to stay safe when taking ecstasy so she’d just heard drinking water was good......but she essentially drowned herself.[/quote]
Yes but at the time it happened her story was what was shown in schools alongside warnings of addiction and stuff and it was enough to scare me off drugs.

I hear the word ecstasy and even now all I see is her photo being shown to us in school and it scared me enough to know it's not worth it. I go can easily be found online now and I suppose young people can research how to take stuff safely or be safer but when I was 14 it wasn't so easy to get hold of info about safe drug use back then.

She’s 27, she’s not exactly young. A 18 year old lost her life the other night in my area. Absolutely awful for her family and friends. It only takes a bad batch and your life’s over

I have two stories which might make you think you need to be worried.

First one, neighbour's DD was at A top university reading medicine. Took what she thought was ketamine. It wasn't, and she's been in a semi comatose state ever since in a residential ward. She was 22 and is now 28. She's not going to get better. My neighbour is a shadow of herself, it's a heartbreaking situation.

Second one was DS's friend. Took MDMA (like he did every weekend)on a night out in a club. For some unknown reason, he started acting strangely, then he collapsed and died on the pavement before they could even get him to hospital. He was 19.

I know people will say it only happens very rarely, but if it happens to your DD/DS that will be no comfort to you at all.

I was a raver and took every drug going, my views are now drastically different.

Your DH is right.

@iklboo

We did it at that age.

No 'we' didn't.

You didn't, but 'we' did.

In big cities with a busy social life, added good career on top (so money to spend) and yes it IS very common.

Lived in big cities in 3 countries and it's the same everywhere.

I don't do it now (34 yo) and have a good life, career, and mental stability. I did a fair bit at uni and mid-20s.

YABVU!
My Dsis used took cocaine occasionally. Then one day it became a crutch. If she had a bad day then she'd take some cocaine. Someone upset her then she'd take some cocaine. If she was feeling low she'd take some cocaine. Not only was her habit eating her money, she also ended up loosing her job because her manager found out she took cocaine. It can be a highly addictive drug.