To not be concerned about DDs occasional drug use?

[saltyskies8]

DD is 27, living in the city as a single professional and has a fantastic social life (in normal times!). We are very close and have the sort of relationship where she feels able to tell me about most things I'd say. Since moving to the city for work a couple of years ago, she's openly told me that her and her friends will occasionally use cocaine or MDMA on nights out or in and that it's very much normal amongst everyone she knows there. DD is otherwise very fit and healthy and personally, I see her drug use as entirely normal for someone of her age group who is young, single and enjoying life in the city.

DH and I got talking last night after watching a series on bbc3 about drug use and I mentioned DDs recreational drug use, which he was not previously aware of. DH is highly concerned and has accused me of being irresponsible for not being concerned about her health and advising she seeks help. I explained my view that most people in their 20s living in the city are doing this and he believes I'm completely deluded and DD has a problem.

I'm genuinely interested to know others thoughts on this? AIBU in not being worried about drug use at this stage in DDs life?

FYI I completely appreciate there are ethical issues in terms of gang crime, county lines etc. but DD and her friends are already well aware of this and I'd rather focus on the health aspect of this for the purpose of this thread :)

I explained my view that most people in their 20s living in the city

If they aren’t in high paying jobs they aren’t, or they are taking cheap shit cut with stuff that will cause awful damage.

I've said to my own younger sisters and friends who have done it. - just imagine your poor mum getting That Knock at 3 in the morning off a pair of grim faced policeman. Play the scene out in your head, then tell me it's worth it 💁🏼‍♀️

@MyopiaUtopia

All the posters bragging about their wild drug use in their twenties being smug suggesting other posters "just didn't get invited to the cool parties" sound really pathetic and sad tbh. Wow so cool

Also same posters conveniently ignoring the posters who's lives have been turned upside down by their DCs drug induced psychosis.

But that’s the thing with drugs - I’ve experienced both sides - it can be amazing if you have it under control and it can also lead to the most horrendous situations - that’s life and no amount of finger wagging will change that ...

Sorry for all typos - passionate subject and a long shift do not go hand in hand

[quote CorianderBee]@InSpaceNooneCanHearYouScream obviously not but as someone in London and in their 20s literally every new group of people I've met through friends, on nights out, at uni, through work, friends of friends of boyfriends etc has done it a few times. Maybe confirmation bias but I think people are in denial about just how common it is.
[/quote]
I think it IS shockingly common among well to do young, especially white people in London, and the rest of the population are looking on in shame and horror to be perfectly honest

I work in A&E, and I’m amazed at your attitude. I hope your daughter is one of the lucky ones and grows out of it, so many don’t. I’ve seen the results of drug use that started out as recreational, you are completely delusional if you think this is ok. Every addict started out thinking they could handle it.

[quote Shopliftersoftheworldunite]@Myothercarisalsoshit calm down love. May I suggest a chill pill? [/quote]
If u have read what they have described about caring for their child after drug use and u still wrote this u need to b deeply deelpy ashamed 😔

That is actually disgusting

@maybemu

“A report on the latest trends in illicit drug use suggests that 5.3% of people aged between 15 and 34 in the UK took cocaine in 2018, the most recent year for which records are available.“

www.theguardian.com/society/2020/sep/22/uk-had-highest-number-of-young-cocaine-users-in-europe-last-year-report?CMP=Share_iOSApp_Other

You wrong

I'd rather focus on the health aspect of this for the purpose of this thread

Lol OP. Repeat those words back to yourself when your daughter winds up braindead, in a coma or dead from a bad batch. You are dangerously deluded & doing a disservice to your own daughter, you should be ashamed. I am in my 20s & worked in the city and can assure you it's not "normal".

@CandyLeBonBon

Human beings have always and will always seek out ways to manage their mental health difficulties. And drug habits that get out of control are a big part of that picture.

Peer-reviewed research specifically focused on cocaine usage please or what you’ve written is utter fuckshite.

Yes drugs are a way out for many in desperate circumstances, but cocaine is for wannabe fuckwits who have zero morals.

People boiled alive, children murdered, all happens to deliver these arseholes the magic powder.

[quote MasterBeth]@maybemu

“A report on the latest trends in illicit drug use suggests that 5.3% of people aged between 15 and 34 in the UK took cocaine in 2018, the most recent year for which records are available.“

www.theguardian.com/society/2020/sep/22/uk-had-highest-number-of-young-cocaine-users-in-europe-last-year-report?CMP=Share_iOSApp_Other

You wrong[/quote]
So sorry I didn't realised when people took a study it was conclusive. They can lie, they can not ask the people who take drugs. I am young and most people I have come across have either tried drugs or does them. It is much wider spread in young people now then people realise.

[quote MasterBeth]@maybemu

“A report on the latest trends in illicit drug use suggests that 5.3% of people aged between 15 and 34 in the UK took cocaine in 2018, the most recent year for which records are available.“

www.theguardian.com/society/2020/sep/22/uk-had-highest-number-of-young-cocaine-users-in-europe-last-year-report?CMP=Share_iOSApp_Other

You wrong[/quote]
Also that study only concerns people who took it in 2018. What if they have previously taken it. Grabbing the first study off google does change my mind

I find it interesting some people seem to think her dropping into conversation with her mum that her social circle do drugs is automatically a good thing. I don’t see that as being an indication of whether or not she would tell her mother she was actually a raging addict. It’s one thing to tell your parents you have everything under control, are having a lovely life and are a social butterfly, and another to admit to them you actually have a massive addiction problem. Seems to me the dropping it into conversation is a way of trying to normalise something that a bit of her thinks maybe isn’t entirely normal. But that’s OK, because Mum has now said it is completely normal and nothing to worry about.

Yep - it’s fucking naive - I hope she never has to witness her child in the midst of a psychotic episode because it’s absolutely terrifying - in spite of this I still understand why people do drugs and accept most people use them without suffering extreme consequences. I would just ask people to be a bit more mindful before they post mindless cuntery such as that 😁

I would argue her social life cant b that fabulous if she feels the need to use drugs. As i had a busy social life in 20s without them, and had great time, never have and wasn't normal, i agree with ur DH

[quote MasterBeth]@maybemu

“A report on the latest trends in illicit drug use suggests that 5.3% of people aged between 15 and 34 in the UK took cocaine in 2018, the most recent year for which records are available.“

www.theguardian.com/society/2020/sep/22/uk-had-highest-number-of-young-cocaine-users-in-europe-last-year-report?CMP=Share_iOSApp_Other

You wrong[/quote]
Lol. That is a "trend", do you wonder who/how they asked?

Try asking mid-twenties adults in a large city. See what "trend" you get then.

[quote MasterBeth]“A report on the latest trends in illicit drug use suggests that 5.3% of people aged between 15 and 34 in the UK took cocaine in 2018, the most recent year for which records are available.“

www.theguardian.com/society/2020/sep/22/uk-had-highest-number-of-young-cocaine-users-in-europe-last-year-report?CMP=Share_iOSApp_Other[/quote]
This is a pretty meaningless statistic as clearly the amount of people who take cocaine aged 15 to 20 is going to be far less than the amount of people who take it aged 25-35 for example.
OP I'm with you that it is really common and people that think it's not are the kind of people who just aren't as likely to go to the kind of parties/clubs/raves/bars where it's being commonly taken, or rather they are not hanging out with the people who are taking them so don't know. I am another poster who has taken a fair amount and variety of drugs yet am a very "normal" high achieving mother with a nice house etc.

@Walkaround

I find it interesting some people seem to think her dropping into conversation with her mum that her social circle do drugs is automatically a good thing. I don’t see that as being an indication of whether or not she would tell her mother she was actually a raging addict. It’s one thing to tell your parents you have everything under control, are having a lovely life and are a social butterfly, and another to admit to them you actually have a massive addiction problem. Seems to me the dropping it into conversation is a way of trying to normalise something that a bit of her thinks maybe isn’t entirely normal. But that’s OK, because Mum has now said it is completely normal and nothing to worry about.

I agree with this

@Walkaround

I find it interesting some people seem to think her dropping into conversation with her mum that her social circle do drugs is automatically a good thing. I don’t see that as being an indication of whether or not she would tell her mother she was actually a raging addict. It’s one thing to tell your parents you have everything under control, are having a lovely life and are a social butterfly, and another to admit to them you actually have a massive addiction problem. Seems to me the dropping it into conversation is a way of trying to normalise something that a bit of her thinks maybe isn’t entirely normal. But that’s OK, because Mum has now said it is completely normal and nothing to worry about.

Yeah, I don't think that many mid-twenties "drug addicts" (as you imply) look to their parents for validation?

Huge swathes of my contemporaries routinely took Mdma. I consider it a safe drug especially if it’s been tested.
I used it and had a great time.
Really really wouldn’t want my kids to though. Such a hypocrite.
Apologies if I’ve missed any other posts about this OP but I am a supporter of the Anybody’s child charity which has a very sensible approach to drug policy in my view. Testing and making party drugs safe would be my preferred option.

[quote MasterBeth]@maybemu

“A report on the latest trends in illicit drug use suggests that 5.3% of people aged between 15 and 34 in the UK took cocaine in 2018, the most recent year for which records are available.“

www.theguardian.com/society/2020/sep/22/uk-had-highest-number-of-young-cocaine-users-in-europe-last-year-report?CMP=Share_iOSApp_Other

You wrong[/quote]
Breaking news - people who do something illegal often don’t admit it.

What are you looking for here OP?

You’ve posted about this multiple times (although your daughter was then 26) and received the same responses.

@ThursdayWeld - yeah, and I don’t think many mid 20s “drug addicts” like admitting their addiction to their parents after going out of their way to tell them what great lives they are having and how much fun it all is, either.

[quote CovidCorvid]@Crockof I certainly think her parents campaign worked. In the 90s nobody I knew would touch it. People took speed and smoked weed but nobody took ecstasy. Shame that lesson seems to have been forgotten and going on what the OP says it seems to be viewed as a safe drug. But then if the OP is daft enough to think cocaine is safe......[/quote]
It's Leah Betts that put me off trying anything. I'm in my 40s now and haven't done anything other than smoke weed in my late teens twice. None of my friends took anything other than the odd joint either. We weren't ever offered anything but I was aware of some older kids who sniffed glue and smoked weed. Two young boys died after sniffing glue.

I have noticed though, if you're middle class then regular coke use seems to not be looked down upon and people say it's letting off steam after a stressful week at work. If you're working class, also with an incredibly stressful job, you're called filthy, junkie, and a chav. A pp sort of hinted that her stable middle class back ground made it less risky and working class people should avoid. If a working class person in a stressful job can afford their weekly drugs without it affecting their working life then why is that any worse than a banker in London abusing drugs regularly?

Also for a site that seems to on the left side of politics and who go on about the tories not giving a fuck about disadvantage and vulnerable people, I'm surprised how many people are ok with their money contributing to the harm of vulnerable people in the production of their precious cocaine.