To not be concerned about DDs occasional drug use?

[saltyskies8]

DD is 27, living in the city as a single professional and has a fantastic social life (in normal times!). We are very close and have the sort of relationship where she feels able to tell me about most things I'd say. Since moving to the city for work a couple of years ago, she's openly told me that her and her friends will occasionally use cocaine or MDMA on nights out or in and that it's very much normal amongst everyone she knows there. DD is otherwise very fit and healthy and personally, I see her drug use as entirely normal for someone of her age group who is young, single and enjoying life in the city.

DH and I got talking last night after watching a series on bbc3 about drug use and I mentioned DDs recreational drug use, which he was not previously aware of. DH is highly concerned and has accused me of being irresponsible for not being concerned about her health and advising she seeks help. I explained my view that most people in their 20s living in the city are doing this and he believes I'm completely deluded and DD has a problem.

I'm genuinely interested to know others thoughts on this? AIBU in not being worried about drug use at this stage in DDs life?

FYI I completely appreciate there are ethical issues in terms of gang crime, county lines etc. but DD and her friends are already well aware of this and I'd rather focus on the health aspect of this for the purpose of this thread :)

I also live in the city and am in my late 20's and yes it's completely normal - not for everyone but I wouldn't be shocked or surprised by it.

Pretty common when I was about that age.

From my experience and my circle it’s very common. I occasionally took MDMA, speed etc at raves, pretty much everyone was doing it. I would be more concerned about the coke as it’s very addictive and harmful, a lot more so than MDMA, which is fairly “safe” as drugs go.

I disagree with some of the earlier posters. I’m now in my forties but a decade or longer ago, when I was a young professional, it was commonplace for colleagues and friends to occasionally take recreational drugs. These were people with professional jobs and otherwise healthy lifestyles. It wasn’t problematic for any of them, none of them were addicted and it was generally in a “big night out” setting - e.g. a major club night.

I personally didn’t do any because I just prefer alcohol and I was worried about where the drugs come from and what’s in them. However, I was very much in the minority. I wouldn’t say it was normal but I would say it’s far more widespread than a lot of people realise.

So many sanctimonious ‘drugs are bad m’kay’ types on this ... Pretending it’s about the supply etc - presume everything item of clothing they buy is ethically sourced etc

Why is it sanctimonious? Are you black? Why can you not care about the impact of drugs on young black people if you buy something from Asia made in China?

@WilyKitWilyKat

I disagree with some of the earlier posters. I’m now in my forties but a decade or longer ago, when I was a young professional, it was commonplace for colleagues and friends to occasionally take recreational drugs. These were people with professional jobs and otherwise healthy lifestyles. It wasn’t problematic for any of them, none of them were addicted and it was generally in a “big night out” setting - e.g. a major club night.

I personally didn’t do any because I just prefer alcohol and I was worried about where the drugs come from and what’s in them. However, I was very much in the minority. I wouldn’t say it was normal but I would say it’s far more widespread than a lot of people realise.

This. I'm in my early fifties now snd it was definitely a part of my work/party culture at that age. Not s as lm the time. But as pp said, a big night out. Tbh alcohol has caused more issues than drugs

You can’t do an illegal activity “safely,” so no point whatsoever equating it to a legal activity. It’s also pathetic to argue it’s OK to do illegal drugs because in many cases they do less harm than legal ones. Wtf sort of idiotic argument is that? How does someone being able legally to kill themselves through an over indulgence in, eg, alcohol, or food, without breaking the law, in any way justify illegal activity?

Asos not Asia!

The sort of recreational drug use you talk about your daughter using is not uncommon at all. It certainly was the norm within my peer group. I understand this is not the norm for everyone in that age group, but my peers and I have all grown up, have well paid professions and had a ball at the time!

What on earth are you talking about ? Young people Taking mdma probably came from a lab in Europe same as pills in 90s

@givewillowabreak

The sort of recreational drug use you talk about your daughter using is not uncommon at all. It certainly was the norm within my peer group. I understand this is not the norm for everyone in that age group, but my peers and I have all grown up, have well paid professions and had a ball at the time!

Statistically it’s uncommon in ninety percent of her age group. As only ten percent do. The fact your peer group and you were in the ten percent is irrelevant. And she’s 27. When will she be grown up?

Seriously? Cannot believe you are this naive.

I was a young city worker much like your DD. I knew very few people using drugs recreationally. The handful that did slid down the ladder rapidly, by age 30 most were no longer working in professional occupations, and were socialising with a very different, not pleasant set of people based around drug use.

@Bluntness100 and yours stats are from?

I'd be more concerned with who she was hanging around with and the situations she could potentially put herself in more so than the health aspect.

@Lennon80 That wasn't to me was it? Cause what have you been taking?

I would talk to your DD about the impact drug use might have on her future. I used cocaine, ecstasy and ketamine recreationally from the age of 15 until I got pregnant at 23 (because I was off my head, my contraception failed). The tentacles that have reached later in my life have been significant tbh. I not only became a single mum as a direct result, I also have physical issues with my bladder, my memory and my teeth. I can't get life insurance as I ended up in hospital after being found so out of it in the street, I fell down some stairs and I think I may have been raped when I was so out of it once in a park, but can't remember the details my mental health definitely suffered.

I always thought I was having a good night, but I look back and cringe at the blackouts and how irresponsible I was. I also put my poor parents through the mill and I totally regret it. Your DD needs to think about how she will view it when/if she's a mother, a professional and middle aged. If I could go back I would erase it all.

Hahah yeah it’s very common ! I was like that myself until about a year ago! Only at festivals or the odd club night ! Same with most of my friends. Don’t know anybody who has a drug problem now - everyone successful jobs, families and etc !! Everyone knocked it on the head eventually - can’t say I ever found mdma a drug I ever craved or was desperate for tbh - you are all deluded if you really believe your kids aren’t at the same on occasion

Wow, you're clearly trying so hard to be a 'cool mum' it's laughable!

There's a difference between thinking your kid might try drugs and being unconcerned about her being a user. I think it'll be a different story if she gets done for possession, or worse, which may potentially affect her dreams, ambitions and future. Then you're desperate for someone like me to make it go away.

The fact you see this as entirely normal is a bit pathetic.

@Lennon80

What on earth are you talking about ? Young people Taking mdma probably came from a lab in Europe same as pills in 90s

Erm, not sure what your point is? It's irrelevant where they come from, they are still trafficked by coerced and abused people inside their bodily cavities.

I am 30, fit and healthy, lived in the city in a good career and thriving social life in my 20s and can categorically say this is NOT normal???

It is normal along some groups of peers. The reason for that is obviously that the drugs make you such a twat that those taking them can only hang out with others on it?! That's why it's so "normal" to her.

None of these are even gateway drugs, they are hard drugs. One dodgy batch will kill her. Will you think it's normal then?

I'm with your DH and would be seriously concerned and devastated if this were my kid.

I have adult children in their twenty’s and drug use is seen as seriously uncool. They don’t even have the drinking culture of my twenty’s . But then we are a working class family and not middle class sheep that do drugs just because their idiot friends do.

@Walkaround

You can’t do an illegal activity “safely,” so no point whatsoever equating it to a legal activity. It’s also pathetic to argue it’s OK to do illegal drugs because in many cases they do less harm than legal ones. Wtf sort of idiotic argument is that? How does someone being able legally to kill themselves through an over indulgence in, eg, alcohol, or food, without breaking the law, in any way justify illegal activity?

You can legally drink yourself to death. Quite easily in fact. No laws broken. Just basic biology at play.

I'm shocked you think this is ok

Think about the bigger picture

The dealers
Crime
Modern slavery
Violence

Your daughter must be mixing with some very unsavoury characters I'd report her to the police and shock her into normality

In my experience, as someone in that age group, it IS very normal and for those of you saying it isn't, I'd suggest you simply don't know about it.

I'd report her to the police and shock her into normality