To not be concerned about DDs occasional drug use?

[saltyskies8]

DD is 27, living in the city as a single professional and has a fantastic social life (in normal times!). We are very close and have the sort of relationship where she feels able to tell me about most things I'd say. Since moving to the city for work a couple of years ago, she's openly told me that her and her friends will occasionally use cocaine or MDMA on nights out or in and that it's very much normal amongst everyone she knows there. DD is otherwise very fit and healthy and personally, I see her drug use as entirely normal for someone of her age group who is young, single and enjoying life in the city.

DH and I got talking last night after watching a series on bbc3 about drug use and I mentioned DDs recreational drug use, which he was not previously aware of. DH is highly concerned and has accused me of being irresponsible for not being concerned about her health and advising she seeks help. I explained my view that most people in their 20s living in the city are doing this and he believes I'm completely deluded and DD has a problem.

I'm genuinely interested to know others thoughts on this? AIBU in not being worried about drug use at this stage in DDs life?

FYI I completely appreciate there are ethical issues in terms of gang crime, county lines etc. but DD and her friends are already well aware of this and I'd rather focus on the health aspect of this for the purpose of this thread :)

@Lennon80

I don’t know a single person who didn’t take drugs in their 20s - rave scene was the best thing I ever did. Don’t make a deal of it, she trusts you are liberal enough to not be ‘drugs are bad m’kay’ and that she is sensible enough to keep it recreational.

That’s lovely dear. Doesn’t mean ninety percent of your age group didn’t.

@PricklesAndSpikes

Yes you're right that if every person didn't do drugs there would be no market - however policy has tried to criminalise certain substances for how long? The market is bigger than ever.

The war on drugs is clearly not working, just like prohibition of alcohol didn't work in the 1920s in the US - however it sure helped drive organised crime and the resulting increase in homicides, robberies and speakeasies!

Again, you are right. I even agree that some drugs may well have their place if they are regulated, legal and manufactured in a safe and open environment. However, I reiterate that as of right now, they are not and with all the information that is known about how drugs come to be, that anyone that takes any illegal drug knows they have been trafficked and are responsible for death and misery and should face up to that and not class it as "harmless".

I definitely respect your perspective and see what you’re saying - currently using it IS playing your part in fuelling the illegal trade and the harms around it for sure, so users are complicit in this. However I don’t think users should be the focus here, rather systematic policy change to take power away from criminal gangs in the trade and make drugs safer should be the focus of our efforts.

While a single person could stop using coke due to guilt about the impact on society of the war on drugs, in the grand scheme of things only policy change will actually reduce crime because you’re never going to guilt 100% of people into not using it.

I would also argue that the recent successes in states that have legalised marijuana didn’t happen because everyone stopped doing weed until governments decided to regulate the market... rather the opposite, it was research into its benefits and the clear futility of criminalising it (due to rampant use anyway) and showing how racist these policies were (incarnation rates of blacks vs whites) that helped drive the decriminalisation.

I worry more about him climbing mountains, which he does frequently, than his occasional and limited drug use.

You prefer your son to take illegal drugs than go mountaneering?

Well that’s a first,,😂

@Serpenta

Alcohol hasn't fueled organised crime for the last 50 years.

and that's why the quote that the pp claimed to have 'fixed' originally said that the 'war on drugs is a colossal waste of time, resources and human lives.' Which is absolutely correct. Legalise drugs and organised crime will no longer be able to profit from it.

Agree, but in the meantime middle class professionals (or working class) need to stop pouring their money illegally into organised crime, causing violence, murder and mayhem.

@Sunnydayspol that's 90% who haven't then & obviously the population doesn't just consist of that age group.

The link also shows other data

Drug-use rates were higher among white teens than black teens.

But we know black teens are more likely to be charged & impacted by drug crime.

Although someone will probably say that statistics are wrong & black kids are lying 🙄

Bluntness100

I don’t care what the people who missed out didn’t do - everyone I know went to red brick universities and now have professional jobs. The hysteria over drugs is so ridiculous especially when espoused by brits who will happily drink loads without a second thought.

As someone who grow up with a drug addict brother it all started with MDMA and coke and he went down a dangerous path and ended up on herion he missed out on majority of his 20s. Thankfully he's been sober 20 years. Put me.off ever trying drugs other than weed.

I was into dance culture, took E regularly, coke less frequently as I couldn't afford it, smoked lots of weed. Completely normal in my circle. I dread 'the talk' with my DS because I really don't think a 'drugs are bad m'kay' line sits well with me.

People take drugs recreationally.
Most people who take drugs recreationally will have a really nice time.
It is kind of as simple as that. If it wasn't, no-one would do it.

That doesn't make me a pusher or whatever else has been flung around on this thread, it makes me realistic - drugs are cheap, accessible and mood-enhancing so it is incredibly naive to think no-one's taking them.

Disclaimer: I'm really old now and the last time I was really aware of people caning it was at the 40th parties, which was incredibly sad and if it's the same at the 50th parties then it will officially trip over into tragic.

Disclaimer 2: I would never take Class As now because I view them in the same way I view porn - the acceptable face of an industry that does incalculable harm to millions of people.

From personal experience it was fairly normal within my circles.

I would say tho that even occasional use can sometimes be detrimental and then there is the crazy shit that you can do when on it.

But what are you supposed to do at her age?!

It would have been better in some respects if she'd not told you!

IF she's fairly sensible and IF it really is occasional then I wouldn't be too worried.

@QioiioiioQ

Alcohol hasn't fueled organised crime for the last 50 years hehe way to beg the question... that'll be because it's not illegal when it was in the US it DID fuel organised crime

Alcohol prohibition made millionaires of gangsters and gave birth to the Mob with Al Capone and the bootleggers.

Drug prohibition made billionaires of gangsters (Escobar) and many many more millionaires.

THe money money involved, the more violent.

These drugs cause very real social problems with families. I wouldn't be happy for dd to be taking them. Everybody thinks they won't get issues and have their DC taken off them. It costs society an absolute fortune when they do. Have you watched One Night of Ecstacy on BBC iplayer? That's an eye opener. There's a young lad in jail because he bought for the group of friends and one very sadly died.

@bungaloid

I think it depends on your own experiences, but I'd say 20% in that sort of age group makes it fairly mainstream. I don't see a huge personal risk from taking MDMA or smoking weed, they are pretty "safe" drugs. But then I'm from a stable middle class background. Those from a working class background should steer well clear.

Wtf

Why do the working classes need to steer clear but the middle class can carry on? Can the working classes just not control themselves? Bizarre and offensive. Drugs are drugs regardless of how wanky the wine bar you do them in is

@Lennon80

Bluntness100

I don’t care what the people who missed out didn’t do - everyone I know went to red brick universities and now have professional jobs. The hysteria over drugs is so ridiculous especially when espoused by brits who will happily drink loads without a second thought.

Look at you being all hard and bleating the benefits of illegal drugs. Go you,

I don’t care what the people who missed out didn’t do - everyone I know went to red brick universities and now have professional jobs. The hysteria over drugs is so ridiculous especially when espoused by brits who will happily drink loads without a second thought.

It's not hysteria just because you are not one of the victims.

I don't disagree that health wise alcohol isn't just as bad if not worse however the fallout of drug supply & use doesn't tend to be the white, middle class professionals users.

I work in healthcare and see the other side, the real devastation drugs cause people. I would not be supportive of drug use in any of my children but at least you guys have a good enough relationship that she can talk to you about it rather than hide it.

its a slippery slope that I wouldn't want my kids to start on. Your attitude towards drug use is lax in my opinion.

The fact is that whatever your view on prohibition and other legal drugs like alcohol it is illegal at the moment. Therefore there are significant legal consequences of being caught in possession.
A defence of 'everyone else does it' or 'no worse than alcohol' won't work.

@legalseagull I don't think the poster is saying that. They are saying that if you a middle class user you are sheltered from the fallout eg less likely to be charged, lose a job etc. I could be wrong though.

I don't believe we have cause to be seriously concerned at this stage.

Fingers crossed it stays this way OP. As others have said, one pill can kill.

However I don’t think users should be the focus here, rather systematic policy change to take power away from criminal gangs in the trade and make drugs safer should be the focus of our efforts.

The movement in government is notoriously slow and change is unlikely to come soon, so users should definitely be the focus here. For exactly your other point:

While a single person could stop using coke due to guilt about the impact on society of the war on drugs, in the grand scheme of things only policy change will actually reduce crime because you’re never going to guilt 100% of people into not using it.

You are again right, one person will make no difference, but if more users were forced to face the true horror behind their "harmless" recreational fun then more and more may not feel like trying it for the first time. I would very much like schools to have in depth and explicit lessons about where drugs come from so that if they do go on to try them, at least they are in the full knowledge of the damage THEY are responsible for causing and can't label it as "harmless fun".

Who are they buying coke from? There WILL be an exploited/trafficked adult/child involved somewhere in the chain. So they might be buying their drugs from an adult 'Charlie Big Bollocks' dealer. But I can guarantee that person will be involved in the coercion of vulnerable adults and children at some point. Never mind the exploitation in the production outside of the UK.

Drugs need to be legalised.
But they never will because people are wilfully ignorant about them.
They’re an easy target to a problem that is the result of drugs not the cause of drugs

Alcohol hasn't fueled organised crime for
the last 50 years.

So you’re saying alcohol isn’t a huge waste of time, resources and human lives? 🤔

However I don’t think users should be the focus here,

Users should absolutely be the focus & they can stop using or reduce whilst they are lobbying the gov for change.

So many sanctimonious ‘drugs are bad m’kay’ types on this ... Pretending it’s about the supply etc - presume everything item of clothing they buy is ethically sourced etc

Based on my own experience I’ve never done drugs they don’t hold any interest for me but yeah I drank like a fish in my teens and 20s and had a bloody great time
If she were my daughter I’d be pleased she told me but I wouldn’t be as blasé about it as you are I would be genuinely concerned for her well-being and be honest with her about that. Whether that made her change her behaviour or not I don’t know I certainly wouldn’t want to alienate her and not have her confide in me on other issues so I wouldn’t be going scorched earth on her over it either.