Friend not allowing DC to wedding BUT baby in arms...

[FinksMeNot]

Friend has sent out invites for wedding. No DC but baby in arms welcome. However, she's given the go ahead for a disabled DC of 3 to come

Other friends in same circle not happy about this as they also have DC around age 3 so think they should be allowed to come too...

What do you think?

I think that the bride and groom can have whomever they like at the wedding. And exclude whomever they like.

Would the other friends like their children to have the same disability and therefore be granted the same special access? No? Then they can sit down and shut up.

It's a wedding, not a democracy. They can invite whoever they want.

Her wedding, her rules.

I'd think 'they must have their reasons'.

But I wouldn't want to take a 3 yo to a wedding unless it was a big family wedding so I'm not the person to ask really!!

Sounds like she's being reasonable to me.

I think the grumbling guests need to get a grip. Big time.

I think it’s entirely up to the bride and groom and our opinions mean diddly squat...

I think that the bride and groom can invite whoever they like and those people have the choice to accept or decline.

Sigh. Is this going to be a tedious reverse where you’re actually the bride and someone is complaining that their precious child isn’t invited?

The bride can invite who she likes. If this is a reverse it’s annoying

What kind of person would begrudge a disabled child attending a wedding?

I'd rethink your friendship group they sound vile

Thank you. I'm the one with disabled DC. But fellow friends really not pleased as their similar aged DC can't come (and they're actually less trouble!)

And they're friends you say?!???
Wow. They are being unreasonable

Not unreasonable. Friends should be delighted for a bit of child free fun and book a babysitter.

@steff13

I think that the bride and groom can have whomever they like at the wedding. And exclude whomever they like.

This!!

I think it's your friend's call tbh. It's her wedding. If she wants to make an exception for the disabled child, that's her choice - maybe he can't be left and she really wants the parents there. The others are free to go or not go, as they wish.

I hate child free weddings personally, but each to their own. As long as the bride and groom don't get arsey about people who decide they can't make it, then it's up to them to invite whoever they please.

Because maybe the disabled dc cannot easily be left?
Why are you jealous of a disabled 3 Yr old?

Who says they’re less trouble? Your friends saying their toddlers are no trouble but yours is? Wow.
At the end of the day it’s up to the bride and groom and babes in arms and your disabled child may have very different needs than your average toddler who can generally
Spend time away from their caregivers without much angst.
Friends? Hmmmm. Not really I’d say.

@Embracelife

Because maybe the disabled dc cannot easily be left? Why are you jealous of a disabled 3 Yr old?

RTFT. The OP is the mother of the disabled child

@Embracelife

Because maybe the disabled dc cannot easily be left? Why are you jealous of a disabled 3 Yr old?

The OP has a disabled 3-year-old. How is she jealous?

I would think that leaving or finding suitable childcare for a disabled child to be significantly more difficult than for most.

I would therefore assume that the bride & groom had based their decision on this in the interests of fairness..

Embracelife I assumed that was a x-post with OP.

Just read your update op, if your child would enjoy the wedding then get yourselves there.

I'd pull up so called friends on their bitchiness too. They clearly have no idea what it's like to parent a disabled dc.

All the best to you

I mean I think Embracelife x-posted with OP.

Disabled dc of 3 is such a difficult age. From the outside unless severly disabled it is likely that they don't look different from your average 3 year old. Bride is being very accommodating of disabled child but it is likely other parent doesn't understand why.

I had same issue with my almost 3yr old disabled dd. I had to ask if I could take her to a family wedding as - because of her disability - I had no capable childcare other than my mum who was also attending the wedding. Caused a few issues but mum was expected to attend and couldn't do so without us taking her so...