I genuinely don’t know if I’m being unreasonable

[DoolallyBinzes]

There is so much to this story but the bare bones of it are that when I was with my ex we borrowed money from my Mum to pay our rent. We had only paid a small amount of it back when he left me. I had no money, no job, nowhere to live and 3 children to look after.
10 years later, Mum has died and my brother says I have to pay all the money back. I’m happy to pay half but I don’t see why I should pay for my ex’s share especially when he now has plenty of money.

@Librariesmakeshhhhappen not true re fees. Executors can and do charge fees sometimes. Especially if they are not beneficiaries as well.

And they are entitled to reimbursement of expenses.

@moynomore

No, you dont paid a fee for being the executor.

If you have a professional as your executor (like the solicitor) then they are paid the fees for the specific work they do. The second of the emails, reading of the will etc. They're paid for their professional time. They arent paid a fee purely for being executor, nor is anyone else.

I've not read the whole thread but believe that you owe each of your brothers £2k. If you can't find the money up front, surely you just take £4k less from her estate?
I'm sorry for your loss.

A friend who lost her husband last year is going through probate and her husband didn't leave a will . His father is trying to say that the son owed him £200,000 so he wants it back . All he has as proof that there was a transaction was a couple of cheque stubs circa £10,000. This does not prove the money was a loan and money given from family to family WITHOUT proof , will usually be seen as a gift from one to another .

@Librariesmakeshhhhappen sort of semantics. A professional executor charges a fee for their work (maybe at an hourly rate). Could be in the thousands. And any executor can recoup expenses. This could be a lot too if probate is complicate and they need to take advice. Not sure what your point is. Those "fees" would be borne by the estate.

Librariesmakeshhhhappen

As I mentioned the paperwork was created for the divorce settlement. This ladies mother wanted it only to be taken into consideration when she was settling her divorce otherwise the ex would not be beholden . As it turned out the judge was not interested. The paperwork was created for this reason not as a debt between mother and daughter that is why the paperwork was created they wanted the grandmother’s input paid by the ex in divorce and to go to the daughter as the mother knew the daughter was now a single parent. So they created paperwork to show the lack of contribution by the ex and that he owes a sum to the grandparent of the mothers children. Then her brother is using this paperwork to pursue it as a loan/ debt to be repaid in full to the estate by the single mother and no holding to account of her ex husband who the grandmother agreed to create the paperwork to pursue the debt during divorce settlement. Anyway the point is this paperwork will now be evidence the brother is going to use instead to get a couple of thousand extra off his sister a single mother carer of his mother who recently Recovered from cancer. Just best following the legal route of advice but I get things were unfair from a moral perspective and the positive is her mother’s money will not be putting a roof over her exes head they settled their divorce she just needs to manage the brother by getting the legal advice regarding that paperwork the brother knows it was created to show courts what the ex owes as proof of a debt not to hold her daughter to account thats my feeling . The daughter is in charge of the will and the brother is pursuing it as a debt because he knows of the paperwork. If its correct take it off the estate before its divided . She does not owe a debt to the brother but to the paperwork created for a divorce settlement from her ex which the judge in the divorce settlement decided to disregard therefore not holding the ex to account. I think this lady and her mother would have liked her ex husband to pay his share of a debt to the ladies mother. Now the lady is going to pay the full debt from her inheritance the ex husband got off paying. Do u see why the issue and the irony . Thats why its a thorn in the side for this lady but she needs to focus on her health and that as a single mother the inheritance she does get won’t be cushioning her ex so thats a big plus they already settled. That’s the silver lining

@moynomore

My point is, the poster from the US was informing the OP that she would receive a percentage from the estate as paying for being executor.
That's not what happens here.

Over here, when planning your will, you can shoo around for an executor if you want a professional and look at their hourly rate for their professional services, or you can simply name a family member who will not receive a fee. Refoiping any expense they pay out for professional advice is not the same as them simply being paid for being an executor.

Its entirely different. In the US poster's mind, the OP was going to get say, 5% of the estate for being names executor, no matter what. Over here, no. If she spend £1000 on a solicitor to help with something then she gets £1000 back. She doesnt earn any money from the estate as a straight up fee for her being executor.

Solicitors arent being paid a fee just for being the executor. They dont get a flat percentage. They get paid for their professional time according to the amount of work they had to do. Just like if you hired them for any other legal issue. They are being paid as a solicitor, not as an executor.

Its not semantics. It's a totally different system from the one in the US. The OP wont make a profit from being executor; even if she claims back expenses. That's not a profit or payment or getting more than her brothers.

*recouping any expense

If there is no written agreement it's not legally binding, there's no proof. Sorry for your loss. Your bro is an arse.

It’s a debt now owed to the estate. Pay back to the estate or have deducted from your share.