To think if there's something you don't want your kid to eat you say when asked not bitch about it later.

[BeansOnToast56]

So today I looked after my brothers girlfriends daughter for the day as she was working and her child care fell through. She is a relatively new girlfriend of about 9 months but due to covid I haven't really spent much time with her or her daughter but my brother is happy so that's ok with me. My dd is a year younger so it was no skin off my nose to have her here for the day, the girls played nicely and entertained each other. I asked her mum when she dropped her off if she had any allergies, things she didn't want her to have or things she didn't like, mum said she ate most things. She had lunch and dinner here so mum really should of said if there was things her daughter wasn't allowed to eat. The girls had bagels cream cheese, grapes, carrot sticks for lunch, crisps in the afternoon and chorizo pasta bake for dinner with peas and garlic bread with chocolate ice cream for pudding. Well my brother has rang kicking for because the child is vegetarian and her mum is very upset I didn't respect that, how the bloody hell am I suppose to know this? I asked mum and she didn't say her reply was she eats most things, no mention of her being a vegetarian at all. AIBU on to think this is mums fault and if she didn't say how was I suppose to know, her dd is 7 if that makes any difference and she didn't tell me herself.

Well you can tell them where to shove it next time they ask you to help with childcare.

If she has specific requirement for her daughters food she should have packed food or at least told you about them being vegetarians.

As an aside it’s odd she left her with you given your barely know her too.

If I were you I’d be pissed of with my brother for being unreasonable too

Oh god I had similar once with a newly vegan friend who I specifically asked if it was ok to put meat on the table for lunch & she said it was fine child was free to choose what she ate & she loved eating vegan etc etc. Child wolfed down bacon - mother never spoke to me again

Well, she can find alternative emergency childcare next time she needs it on a Sunday then. Perhaps she can write a booklet of ‘dos and don’ts’ for the poor unfortunate who she selects?! Don’t let it be you.

I don't get this, what did they say when you pointed out she hadn't actually told you she was a vegetarian?

Even if she'd told you as she dropped off her DD, that's very short notice to provide 2 vegetarian meals and snacks.

Never look after her again! How ungrateful can you get!
It’s one thing for you to feed her sweets when she’s not allowed them but you didn’t realise but for you to actually have asked and she didn’t say anything and then they get mad at you even though you’ve looked after her and done them a favour! Honestly I’d be fuming with them! This would be enough for me to stop talking to them. It’s the having a go at you that takes the piss why not just say oops I forgot to say she was a veggie! Never mind no harm done etc.
At 7 it’s more than likely her mums choice for her to go veggie too so it’s not like she’s going to be poorly or anything now.

@PetuniaPot

Did she perhaps presume he'd told you all about her, including the vegetarian detail.

In that case he should be doing the apologising to his gf. They sound a bit precious.

That sounded lovely - and at seven, the child is old enough to decide whether she wants to be vegetarian when there's a chance of chorizo!
Guess that's the last emergency childcare you'll be doing.

@Its90minutestonight

Even if she'd told you as she dropped off her DD, that's very short notice to provide 2 vegetarian meals and snacks.

But the food OP provided was wholesome, varied and largely vegetarian. The child’s mother was BVU.

Sorry OP but this has made me laugh.

I’m vegetarian and so are my kids but she’s been ridiculous.

She didn’t tell you when you specifically asked so she is 100% to blame. Absolutely 100%.

I would leave it for a while then ask DB for your apology.

Absolutely cheeky bint.

So funny that the girl had 2nd helping too.

God a bit of chorizo once in her life isn’t going to do any damage.

I was veggie for years before my dad admitted that Scotch eggs had sausage in them - we always had them in our Sunday supper.

I'm adding that to the meal planner.

I'm going to try that pasta bake. Has made me hungry just reading about it

Surely at 7 years old she knows shes vegetarian?
Very odd and you definitely weren't to blame!

Yes thanks for posting the recipe @BeansOnToast56. I think it will go down a treat here!

Do you have the mother's phone number - you should text her and say something like "I feel terrible, but no one told me your daughter (or you) were vegetarian'

You express empathy with that - because of course you would not have deliberately fed the girl meat if you'd known and places responsibility firmly in the camp of either the Mum or your DB - as one of them was clearly supposed to mention it - I suspect it was your DB who should have told you before now that his GF is vege.

1. Children should not be veggie - no matter what is fashionable, children cannot get 5 of their essential amino acids from a veggie diet and it's significantly less with a vegan one.
2. You were giving up your time for free! They have what you're alreays prepared for dinner, or they b ring something else.

I'm vegetarian and so are my kids.. for now. DS1 is strict but at 10 it's self imposed. my youngest is 1 and will likely try the odd bit of meat when we start eating at grandparents houses etc because he's very enthusiastic about food.

If someone gave either of them meat without knowing our preferences we might let them know for future reference but certainly wouldn't hold it against them. At the end of the day you've done her a favor and DC was well looked after, they should be thanking you.

When DS1 was a bit younger he came home talking about these new sausages they'd had at the school party... he survived but I never had the heart to tell him why they were different to the one's he has at home

You asked, she should have told you. She’s being ridiculous. I wouldn’t give it another thought.
I’m a vegan and one of my children has an allergy so I absolutely respect people’s dietary needs. But if you don’t know because they’ve failed to tell you....🤷🏻‍♀️

They should apologise: they've overreacted and been rude to you. You were kind enough to look after her daughter at short notice. And you barely know each other. You weren't aware she was veggie because they hadn't told you, it was a mistake. The sky hasn't fallen in, the daughter wasn't permanently harmed.

@cabingirl why would you do that - she had no idea and the mum is feeding her child nutritionally substandard food.

YANBU at all. Also going to try the dish. Sounds yum!

How close are you, normally, to your brother? Because I personally would just go no contact if mine treated me so ungratefully and disrespectfully! (Not that he would - sorry, but your brother sounds like a butt head.) As to the gf - no words!! Just make sure you do her NO favours ever again. She's a CF and I can't stand people who turn on others whose kindness they just don't appreciate.

Tell him she can apologise to you when she drops round the thank you present.

I suspect she thought you knew they were vegetarian and your brother had mentioned it when he initially asked you. When she dropped off she was thinking allergies not that the family is vegetarian.

Ridiculous but both assumed the other had told you

YANBU, I'd ask her to be upfront in future not passive aggressive, and to talk to you herself not get your brother to run messages for her.